Son told not to smile for photo

It’s obviously upset you but she can’t see your son, I’m sure he’s not grotesque or distorted but forced smiles can look like that.

😂😂

Yes, distorted, not natural, can look a bit like Bruce from Finding Nemo.

She didn’t say he was grotesque or anything! In turn, you came back with calling her thick and demanding to know if she had children (which is very hurtful for some women to read; being fertile doesn’t make you superior to those who are not)

I’m sure he isn’t ruining photos deliberately, my own DS is the same. I have told him to stop smiling on occasion as when he looks normal he’s adorable; when he forces a smile it isn’t a great look tbh.

DS has an awful forced smile, I'd say to him 'why are you making this face/', then exaggerate what he's doing - it would make him laugh and then I'd get a natural photo. I've also probably said to him not to smile because it looks more natural then. Was he upset by it OP?

I thought your comment was worse to be honest. Gurning is just shorthand for pulling a daft face, I don’t think it was intended offensively in that context.

My DS is five in December and even though I love him I think his forced smile looks slightly psychotic but his normal appearance is lovely. I do think you’ve massively overreacted and taken offence where none was intended, both to your MIL and to the poster you’re quoting. You’ve had two really spiteful comebacks to her so it's a bit odd that you consider yourself an arbiter of what is respectful language TBH.

Gosh. And you don’t know that some young kids unintentionally have odd smiles as they are learning! That’s strange ignorance!

Oh I miss my ds' 5 year old smile/grimace

Yes 5 grown children and I work with children including this age group every day.

That’s just bitchy and unnecessary.

Tbh I do think this can be pretty damaging for a child. My mum does this to my daughter. She's 4 years old and recently had a graduation ceremony so when she came home with the certificate I took some pictures of her to send to family. She did the goofiest most beautiful smile and my mum corrected her smile. I told mum her smile is beautiful and when I posted the pic I posted the one with the biggest scrunchiest smile. I then went home and told my husband and told him to tell my mum point blank if he ever heard her say it.

That felt really unkind when I read it but on the other hand, my youngest does the same thing when asked to smile but his natural smile is beautiful and so I find myself asking him to laugh when I want to take a photo so that I’m able to capture his natural smile & so it looks like him when I look back at the photo. Having read this post, I now feel terribly guilty for it. 😓

Has your dc actually been upset by this? Or did they just take it in their stride as another annoying instruction e.g. stand over there, look this way, lift your chin up, give us a smile, don't smile etc. Not sure what the pp who suggested he will be scared for life is on about, I bet it didn't even register. I can see why you are upset but it really isn't that big a deal is it. You can take as many photos as you like of his weird smile.

Notthisagain13, I think it's disgusting of your mil, his grandmother, telling him not to smile. I'm sorry, huge back story or not, she needs telling. Unless you and your hubby are frightened of being cut out of her will, stand up to her and tell her straight. Your son needs to know his parents are there for him and that includes telling your mil to back off. At the end of the day your little boy should come first!

I think it's disgusting of your mil, his grandmother, telling him not to smile. I'm sorry, huge back story or not, she needs telling. Unless you and your hubby are frightened of being cut out of her will, stand up to her and tell her straight. Your son needs to know his parents are there for him and that includes telling your mil to back off. At the end of the day your little boy should come first!

My husband has a weird smile in posed photos. The secret is to take several ,one after another. In the first one he will look like Wallace. Then he'll relax and laugh and look lovely in all the others. Ask MIL to do that.

“Stand up beside the fireplace, take that look from off your face”

Ever since family photos were a thing (and probably when rich aristo’s were sitting for their paintings!) there’ll always be some member of the family telling another to pull their face straight. You either laugh along and crack on with your day and nobody will think of it again or you make a big deal about it, cause friction and cement the memory in your child’s mind forever more!

As quickly as you say it happened I’d be quicker with “Don’t talk to him like that!”

Things like that don’t happen so fast that you can’t speak up for your child especially around family.

Yes but OP said, Mil asked him to just stop smiling after not being happy with his initial expression. Also, why can’t people just let kids be kids?! Especially a 5 year old?! I think that’s part of the charm of seeing children growing up from their natural - sometimes photogenic angelic smiles - all the way down to the goofy and out there smiles! Then the inevitable self-conscious smiles we develop as young adults when we don’t like our crooked teeth or we have self image troubles right through to the confident tongue out or pouting many kids do as young adults.

Little kids can be quite sensitive and it would be so sad if a child internalised being asked to change (or worse as with OP stop the smile altogether) and then become nervous about ‘smiling correctly’ - heartbreaking! If it were my son, out of earshot, I’d be very clearly explaining to her this is not okay and to never do it again!

Sorry, should have said DS was around 5-8 years old when he was doing this.