Am I treating my 14.5 yr old unfairly?

Is this medical advice or just your opinion?

as a teenager I often got up around 11 on Saturdays. I only got up at 9 on Sundays because I worked. These days I’m up at 5( lol toddlers) but as a childless adult I got up around 830/9 if I got the choice.

id cut the WiFi at midnight if it was me,
but i dont think you should be overly concerned unless he’s opting out of family life.

I think we are in for a huge health mental and physical health crisis in part down to screen use. Mine would all be on all day given the choice (all late teens). When your sons age I would limit them to a couple of hours a day. When even younger it was 4 days for 1 hour, 3 days none. Every holiday is still a screen free zone apart from a phone check up in the morning and evening.

Now 2 of them are adults when they are not working I still try and encourage other things. They have a good routine of not just gaming, they go to the gym, meet mates to play football or basketball, go to the cinema, to gigs and the pub. At home they will bake, read, play chess or other games.
Many of the kids we knew who were always allowed on screens seem to be awake all night and sleep all day. Have poor mental health, are unfit and/or overweight. I used to be seen as a bit upright about it (I probably was 😁) but still feels right.

Great tip about English Lit @Allergyrising , but please check his school's website for the GCSE English Literature exam board. We do Eduqas and I had a child do this- but she'd looked at all the AQA poems!

I have a DD the same age and DS 12. Screens off at 10 max latest and gaming is in communal areas, but they don't really push back that much and are chuffed if allowed to stay up until 10. Long may it continue! 😅

I want to go to bed about 10.30 and definitely be asleep by 11. I have very low tolerance for anything that gets in the way of that.

He isn't just gaming, he is playing a sport, seeing his mates, eats with you and does his chores. It is summer holidays. Routine does go out the window a bit.

Look, we spent half our lives outside because we had 3 tv channels and only a small time slot for children's tv shows. You can look up listings for historic days to see what crap used to be on. It is both eye opening and a bit nostalgic.

This is the world we live in now. We sit in front of a screen at work, we come home, MN, binge watch tv and hopefully also see friends, eat socially, do housework usually to music or a podcast. Not all screen time is bad.

In this house we had a rule that was if you were giving it your best at school, your attitude at home was good (mainly about coming off tech for dinner, helping unload and put away supermarket shopping, your chore list etc) then you could have screen time. They learned things from youtube, it is a brilliant resource.

Mine are now 22 and 19, one at uni, one graduated uni, high academic achievers, have a nice group of mates, have lunch and dinner with us when home, chat to us.

The only thing I would suggest to all year 9 children is use this summer to watch the plays/films for the books they will be studying for GCSE for English Lit, including the 15 poems that they will be studying. Youtube for themes, breakdowns etc to give them a bit of a head start. One of them will be Shakespeare, talk about it, learn how to read it. Mr Bruff is the usual choice as a start.

Don't sweat the small stuff it was pass. If keeping others awake shouting at games that is different.

He needs enough sleep for growth but he’s not getting correct sleep. Get him up at 10am latest everyday. If there’s a problem with this unplug the wifi and reduce his mobile phone subscription. He needs to be in bed at before midnight.

I don’t think he is doing anything wrong. It’s the way of the world now. This generation is different to ours and we have to go with the flow. Relax, being a teenager is tough. Think back to when you were one. Screentime is their outlet. I have a 20 year old who loved his PlayStation. He is now 20, at university living a fulfilled life. He isn’t damaged. Relax a little, he sounds great.

Wee wave. 3 teens and yep they have been glued. We allowed 3 weeks of as much screen time as they liked but cut them off at 11pm as we still have to go to work and they shout at their computers.

I speak to mine about balance. They do a lot of sports and they have to a long walk and a bus ride to school so they are tired a lot of the time. Some days I just want to sit on my phone or binge watch a series (not that I get the opportunity), so I'm not opposed to it, but made it clear that I was fine with them having the odd day where they can veg out but not let it become a habit and their holidays just fly by.

I would ask of an evening, what his plans are for the next day, hopefully make him a bit more intentional with his time as it's easy once you're on a screen for hours to pass, whereas if you ask him the night before he's less likely to say, I'll be on screens all day and make him potentially make more plans with friends or get out of the house.

Does he need to be doing any studying and isn't?
If you are having a family day out, would he make sure that he can get up and join in?
If yes, then I'd give him the leeway you are. MN, generally doesn't like gaming.