To think toenail cutting can't hurt my son?

He's clearly a very sensitive child in many ways.
I have an autistic child with sensory issues that is triggered by many of these things.
He finds deep pressure easier than light pressure.
Even into his teens, the daily battle over self care like showering, hair brushing and tooth brushing continues like he's still 3 years old because he still finds them physically unpleasant.

I HATE tickling. I now warn anyone looking like they're in a tickly mood that I accept no responsibility for any losses or damage incurred while trying to tickle me. I have very strong defensive reactions to tickles. Normally it's enough to make them think twice, and if not, the idiot was warned...

I find cutting my toenails a bit painful still and I'm in my 50s! It really used to hurt when I was a child and I'd react like your son when my parents did it. The skin around my toenails is very sensitive to being pulled by scissors/clippers when the nail is cut.

It’s common for some children to experience enough of an unpleasant sensation when having hair or nails cut that is distressing for them, even if it isn’t what we understand as pain.

Hair and nails still need to be cut though, so you are right to persevere with kindness and understanding.

Do you use clippers or nail scissors? I use scissors on myself because that moment the clipper flattens out the nail before clipping it pulls on the nail bed uncomfortably. To a 5yo I image that could be “hurts”.

My DD14 experiences extreme pain when cutting her toenails. I need to give her paracetamol a while beforehand to even get near. I started off thinking like you, that it couldn’t possibly hurt, but it really does. She is autistic and this is the only physical sensory issue she has but it’s a big one.

Is he using the word “hurt” to mean “feels weird and I don’t like it” rather then actually painful?

keep going as you are. Maybe let him see you do your own toenails so he can see everyone does it. And try out other foot sensations- walking barefoot in sand or thick carpet, squeezing foot, etc.

I remember staying in the bath when my son was about 4 for over 3 hours in a toenail cutting incident, we got there in the end but some children just hate it, he grew out of it , some parenting is hard

My autistic son hates having his nails cut, especially toenails. Same as @MuggleMe it's the 'tickly' feeling that is unbearable. He also hates having his hair cut and we often skip a few appointments if he's not feeling up to it.

He certainly has sensory issues. My DD (who is autistic) was recommended support by an Occupational therapist. I think you can have sensory issues without being ASD but maybe some neuro diversity there??
It's obviously unpleasant for him to have his nails cut.

Can you get an electric file instead?

He probably feels that it hurts him. He just doesn’t like the experience and feels uncomfortable.

I think it’s quite common for children to dislike their nails being cut, their hair cut, water in their face.

My son is 6 and has only recently started to allow us to cut his toenails without a fuss. He still hates it though! We always ensure to do his toenails after a longer soak in tbe bath so they are softer to cut.

For my ASD daughter the 'pain' is how sensitive/tickly her feet are, so it's the holding of the toes and feeling of the nail bed being squeezed that 'hurts'. It's definitely unpleasant for her but until she can cut them herself, it's essential I do it