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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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PyongyangKipperbang · 25/07/2025 01:13

I have to be careful how I word this as this was very heavily covered by the UK and international press and I do not want to be disrespectful to the victims family. The victim was (just) an adult. Dont ask for more details as I wont give them.

The best friend of one of my children was murdered abroad. It was initially thought to be terrorism (hence the media coverage). Turned out it wasnt, it was a failed attempt at suicide. When it went to trial the family of the victim could have insisted on the death penalty, as it is the law in that country. The family said no. Mainly because they knew that their child wouldnt want that, but also because it was what the attacker wanted. That the attacker must live their life until nature takes it course was/is by far the biggest punishment.

If this man was given the death penalty, what would it achieve? A life taken in retaliation doesnt bring a life back. He will have a very very hard time of it in prison, and it is deserved.

echt · 25/07/2025 01:11

Anyway, in cases like this where it's clear who's murdered the child then it's a yes to capital punishment from me

And all the ones where innocent people were executed for murder, served life sentences or are still in prison were all perfectly clear at the time.

twilightermummy · 25/07/2025 01:07

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:10

For me the line is killing a child. Star Hobson, Arthur Labinjo-Hughes, Sara Sharif, Baby P (to name a few) - their killers are pure evil.

I completely agree with you. These are cases of horror. There seems to be a jaw-dropping case every year and somehow the perpetrators are getting more violent - it beggars belief.

I cannot understand why they were allowed so much time with their baby when he was going to be immediately removed from them.

Anyway, in cases like this where it's clear who's murdered the child then it's a yes to capital punishment from me.

SnowFrogJelly · 25/07/2025 01:06

BIWI · 24/07/2025 23:02

It is a horrible story. Perhaps you should use your intelligence to consider just how we end up with people who commit these crimes in our society?

Wow patronising

AlwaysTheRenegade · 25/07/2025 00:48

I don't want to click on the link, so I don't know his crime, but he's obviously an evil, evil man.

I don't agree with the death penalty still though. Maybe someone should do to him what he's done X10. A fast humane death is sometimes an easy way out, and too good for the perpetrator.

A lot of my older family members always say "bring back hanging", but I can't fathom ever rejoicing in the violent death of someone else. If I was a victim's family member I think I'd still want them to live, but In the worst conditions imaginable.
But im luckily not in this position.
There are just too many grey areas with the death penalty, and inmates that are on death row for years

wordler · 25/07/2025 00:45

If killing people is wrong then any killing is wrong.

But I do think there should be full life sentences for people like the man in this case. Absolutely no prospect of parole.

AloeVeraAloeFred · 25/07/2025 00:39

I do know exactly what you mean. It's hard to imagine how someone as dysfunctional as that man clearly is - not just that he has brutally murdered his own baby but that it seems to have been done in a premeditated, psychopathic way out of a pathological desire to maintain control over the baby's mother -can ever not be a risk and a burden to everyone around him. Violent, controlling men are like rabid dogs really and there's quite a lot of evidence out there that they aren't really reformable.

Still, I think the death penalty, where it is avoidable, as it is in our society, probably brings more problems than it solves. Let's forget the obvious (and in this case not especially applicable) problem of false conviction... What does it do to society to sanction murder, however "deserved" some may feel it to be? Who carries out the sentence and what does it do to those involved? What are the potentially unforseen pragmatic impacts (eg juries less willing to convict, vast legal expense of death row appeals etc)?

I do think being a violent controlling man should come with some kind of label (similar or equivalent to a psychiatric diagnosis) which enables the state to incarcerate / parole indefinitely and in total separation to women and children. Maybe he could be capable of forming positive relationships with other toxic men and they could achieve something useful with their lives in a work programme or something. Personally I'm not about revenge. I have some pity for people who are basically the human equivalent of a feral animal, and I think it's better to try to make some use of their lives instead of kill them. Killing is a sick thing to do and I think the death penalty makes society sick.

novanova5 · 25/07/2025 00:32

@AllTheChaos Is it justice to allow these despicable individuals to keep living? I have no doubt that the victims families would vehemently oppose your view, and I state this with confidence. SHAME ON YOU.

Smallsalt · 25/07/2025 00:31

novanova5 · 24/07/2025 23:03

I completely agree with you, OP. Anyone attempting to rationalise why we shouldn't reinstate the death penalty is just as disturbed as those who committed the crimes, to be honest.

So you are prepared to allow state killing of innocent people?

Allisnotlost1 · 25/07/2025 00:28

elm26 · 25/07/2025 00:20

As soon as I saw the title to your thread, I knew what this was about. I stupidly read the article earlier whilst waiting on maternity ward for bloods, had tears rolling down my face. I’m 33 weeks pregnant with my second child and I just cannot fathom how you’d ever hurt a child at all. I hope he is tortured every single day of his sad, pathetic life in that prison.

(My Mum is good friends with somebody who was high up in the prison service, retired last year. The guards let these things happen when it comes to children, turn a blind eye so I’m holding out hope that they’ll get him!)

Great news that your mum’s friend openly admits to turning a blind eye to misconduct in public office.

Do you somehow think that violence is good so long as it’s against people you don’t like? Or that public services should be run by thugs and criminals? Because that’s what you’re condoning here. Wild.

SummerEve · 25/07/2025 00:27

elm26 · 25/07/2025 00:20

As soon as I saw the title to your thread, I knew what this was about. I stupidly read the article earlier whilst waiting on maternity ward for bloods, had tears rolling down my face. I’m 33 weeks pregnant with my second child and I just cannot fathom how you’d ever hurt a child at all. I hope he is tortured every single day of his sad, pathetic life in that prison.

(My Mum is good friends with somebody who was high up in the prison service, retired last year. The guards let these things happen when it comes to children, turn a blind eye so I’m holding out hope that they’ll get him!)

Tell me you don’t know what you are talking about without telling me you don’t know what you are talking about.

AllTheChaos · 25/07/2025 00:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

No, we are standing up for justice - you are standing up for increased murder and reduced punishment of the guilty. Shame on you, frankly.

novanova5 · 25/07/2025 00:24

This reply has been deleted

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YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 25/07/2025 00:23

elm26 · 25/07/2025 00:20

As soon as I saw the title to your thread, I knew what this was about. I stupidly read the article earlier whilst waiting on maternity ward for bloods, had tears rolling down my face. I’m 33 weeks pregnant with my second child and I just cannot fathom how you’d ever hurt a child at all. I hope he is tortured every single day of his sad, pathetic life in that prison.

(My Mum is good friends with somebody who was high up in the prison service, retired last year. The guards let these things happen when it comes to children, turn a blind eye so I’m holding out hope that they’ll get him!)

Fucks sake ‘the guards’??

you mean prison officers. In all my years of service I have never ever known any officer let anything deliberately happen…. You would have a very hard time explaining it if you did and you’d be out on your ear!

OonaStubbs · 25/07/2025 00:23

Who does the British justice system work for, if not the people of Britain?

CalicoPusscat · 25/07/2025 00:23

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 25/07/2025 00:09

I’ve reported multiple posts but no reply from MN as yet. Maybe we need to just not feed?

Oh it that on the post? You'd need to go to The Nightwatch forum at this time.

I've seen several person attack posts.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 25/07/2025 00:20

novanova5 · 25/07/2025 00:12

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Hilarious. You reported me simply because I disagree with your viewpoint.

That is not why I reported you.

elm26 · 25/07/2025 00:20

As soon as I saw the title to your thread, I knew what this was about. I stupidly read the article earlier whilst waiting on maternity ward for bloods, had tears rolling down my face. I’m 33 weeks pregnant with my second child and I just cannot fathom how you’d ever hurt a child at all. I hope he is tortured every single day of his sad, pathetic life in that prison.

(My Mum is good friends with somebody who was high up in the prison service, retired last year. The guards let these things happen when it comes to children, turn a blind eye so I’m holding out hope that they’ll get him!)

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 25/07/2025 00:15

bluewanda · 24/07/2025 23:39

At least there is some justice sometimes - but it still doesn’t come close to what their victims suffered.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/jan/03/sara-sharif-father-police-investigate-after-reports-of-prison-attack

That’s not justice

novanova5 · 25/07/2025 00:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bromptotoo · 25/07/2025 00:14

You can NEVER justify bringing it back.

If the Birmingham Six were not enough then several other examples are available.

ilovesooty · 25/07/2025 00:13

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 25/07/2025 00:09

I’ve reported multiple posts but no reply from MN as yet. Maybe we need to just not feed?

So have I. I imagine MNHQ will pick it up in the morning.

Robin67 · 25/07/2025 00:13

I understand what you are saying @JoyDivision79 . But modern technology means it doesn't have to be that way. We have metadata on phones, GPS on cars, CCTV, ring doorbells and dash cams, DNA evidence.

The problem is the lack of reliable control of information. There are people in the USA who are convicted, another person confesses and is then convicted, and the original conviction is not overturned as no one realises. A good country wide IT system with AI that actively searches and filters things can help.

Also I don't believe that the police should decide who is referred to be prosecuted and what evidence the CPS should get. There should be oversight, again independent people and AI, and all evidence should be forwarded. IANAL or police and I apologise if I have misunderstood any of the legal process.

novanova5 · 25/07/2025 00:12

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Hilarious. You reported me simply because I disagree with your viewpoint.

bluewanda · 25/07/2025 00:10

LBFseBrom · 25/07/2025 00:05

The Daily HateMail doing what it does best, inciting outrage in its readers.

Yes, the crime was beyond dreadful.

No, the death penalty should not be reinstated.

I’d have had the exact same thought whichever newspaper I read it in. The Guardian report is equally as horrific as the Daily Mail’s - not surprising since it’s a horrific crime.

OP posts: