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Original poster

To mention lack of thank you card

189 replies

Pouringfrogs · 24/07/2025 20:51

DSiL got married last summer. They live abroad so we made a long weekend of it (well, we had to, it’s a flight away- but did it gladly).

We put money in their card. DB was also asked last minute to oversee a few things on the day, which he was happy to do.

It‘s almost a year on and we have received no thank you card. Her DM has been upset about it and had words around Christmas time. DSiL said she was busy and they hadn’t got round to it bit were working on it.

DSiL doesn’t work, and has one child with her ex with 50% custody. So I‘m not sure how she hasn’t found the time. Of course it isn’t only up to her, her DH too, but I feel like there is no excuse for being so rude.

They are coming to see us soon and I‘m tempted to say something. DH doesn’t think I should.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pouringfrogs · 24/07/2025 21:03

BeltaLodaLife · 24/07/2025 21:00

How is she related to you? Is she your brother’s new wife? If so, of course he had to do stuff on the day.
Or is she your husband’s sister? If so, why was your brother involved at all?

That should be DH, as in my DH. Not DB.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pouringfrogs · 24/07/2025 21:02

Thickasabrick89 · 24/07/2025 21:00

What do you mean it's not the norm to send thank you cards???

In this modern age you can do it virtually! Don't even need to post them. Couldn't be easier

They did send their invite digitally so thank you cards could have been done the same way.

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 24/07/2025 21:01

Give a gift, because you want to give a gift … not because you expect something in return

Original poster
Pouringfrogs · 24/07/2025 21:01

I must be old fashioned then. I got married quite a long time ago and wouldn’t have dreamed of not thanking my guests. Especially ones who travelled for our wedding.

I don’t actually know of they received the money, the cards were left in a box so it could have got lost or stolen.

DSiL is my DH sister. Definitely not putting all the blame on her, but we are both closer to her than her husband.

OP posts:
Thickasabrick89 · 24/07/2025 21:00

What do you mean it's not the norm to send thank you cards???

In this modern age you can do it virtually! Don't even need to post them. Couldn't be easier

polarsystem · 24/07/2025 21:00

I’d be mildly disgruntled at the time but, you’re a year on. Move on.

BeltaLodaLife · 24/07/2025 21:00

How is she related to you? Is she your brother’s new wife? If so, of course he had to do stuff on the day.
Or is she your husband’s sister? If so, why was your brother involved at all?

Evaka · 24/07/2025 20:59

This is a very dated idea, sorry. I'm mid 40s and have only one friend who sends cards. I see it as quaint/formal.

CoastalCalm · 24/07/2025 20:58

I didn’t send them either , a lot of our guests stayed the night and we thanked them personally at breakfast and individually during the wedding for coming and for their gift

Butchyrestingface · 24/07/2025 20:58

How is she related to you? Is this your husband's sister or your brother's wife? And I know you acknowledged it's her husband's responsibility too, but you seem to reserve your ire for her.

I wouldn't say anything anyway. Her mother's already had words and it made hee haw difference. It will just cause an atmosphere on her visit.

Stiffnewknee · 24/07/2025 20:57

Thank you cards in 2025? 🙄 YABU

Mandarinaduck · 24/07/2025 20:57

Don't say anything. This isn't worth falling out over. Especially if the DM has already made the point once. If you said something I think you would be rude too. There is worse in life quite honestly.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 24/07/2025 20:57

I wouldn’t expect a thank you card at all.
of course you gave them money and helped out, it’s a wedding!
so no, I wouldn’t say anything personally.

Whatatodo79 · 24/07/2025 20:56

Thank you cards are largely defunct as a social norm now. It's a shame but probably helpful to adjust your expectations really.