To mention lack of thank you card

Sometimes I wonder whether Mumsnet is in any way representative of the current Universe…

No, it is not in any way acceptable to not thank people for presents.

And no, not responding to an RSVP invitation is not acceptable either.

What's next - putting feet on coffee tables, sneezing/coughing without covering your mouth, pushing pensioners out of the way while getting on a bus……

Thank you cards for weddings are very much expected. They’re rude but its not your problem

We did them after our wedding and the christenings of our children, but I’ve only ever received a handful from family friends in a certain circle. Sadly, we don’t even get many Christmas cards now. I genuinely think the tradition is dying out. You can just verbally ask if they received your card and wedding money though.

I still send thank you cards. I drop written notes after dinner parties etc. I don't care if it's old fashioned or regarded as quaint. I was brought up to do it. I understand why the OP is annoyed but you can't police the behaviour of others.

You said that they live abroad, are the thank you cards a cultural norm in their geographical and age group?

I'm not British and it is just one of those things older Brittons seem obsessed about.

Awful behaviour, she is preventing you being able to send a thank you for the thank you card, for which she can thank you. No manners at all.

I think it's good manners to send a thank you card/text but a after a year... it's time to move on.

There's a difference between saying thank you and saying it must be a card.

I can't remember the last time I went to post office to post a letter or card so you will not get a thank you card from me but as I said I my earlier post I do believe in being grateful and thankful and I will find a way be it text, video call, audio call, in person etc to acknowledge the gift and say thanks.

My granny in her 90s got stroppy if she didn’t get a thank you card. While it may have been nice to receive one, you have to move on.
judging your SIL for her shared custody/not working and linking that to something so minor is rather petty I’m afraid. If I were you I’d work to put that judgment to one side and get on with life. It’s not worth causing a row over.

Did they say thank you etc on the day?

Yeah I think some people are trying to excuse their own rudeness to be honest. How does saying thank you via text, email, card or whatever become dated?!

I agree that thank you cards are defunct but saying thank you isn't.

I don't send thank you cards but I will make sure to thank the person either by calling, texting, video calling on WhatsApp or seeing them in person. I will find a way to acknowledge the gift and thank them.

YANBU. I’ve never not received one from any wedding I’ve attended, regardless of whether I was an all day or evening guest or how close I am to the happy couple. Most included thoughtful photos of their day together with a handwritten thank you.

Even those who don’t bother usually did bother for their wedding. Also for presents for the birth of their first child.

DSiL is my DH sister. Definitely not putting all the blame on her, but we are both closer to her than her husband.

Absolutely say nothing. Your husband doesn't want you to raise the matter with his sister. He presumably won't say anything either.

His mother has already said something and got nowhere.

Why on earth would you think it appropriate for YOU to bring it up?

You'd be very unreasonable/silly a year on.

Fucking hell, that's even worse that you want to stick your beak in.

It was bad enough when it was your brothers wife but good lord, if she is your husband's sister you need to back the fuck up or you'll.wreck your own marriage for a temporary feeling of superiority.

Crikey.

Can’t believe people are saying it’s not normal to send thank you cards!! Wow! what an awful lack of manners! I would be really cross not to receive some sort of personal thanks whether it be via card, message etc. People spend a lot of money and go to a lot of effort to attend weddings so a thanks is the least a bride and groom can manage!! I wouldn’t dream of receiving a gift and not saying thank you!

Thank you card ? Do people still send them. I think I last received one maybe 2010 ish for a wedding gift. It's a waste of paper and over priced postage

And how much would you like her to gush about your astonishing generosity to make you feel like she has paid you the respect you feel you deserve?

You went of your own free will.
She presumably offered hospitality.

She just hasn't don't a card.

surely you've spoken to your brother in the last year and can ask him why he is being so rude despite your incredibly generous gift?

Or you could make ot interesting and just ask them why she isn't doing the "wife work" because he works and she doesn't.

I don't know if you think somehow you're being clever by not asking those exact words because your intent will be spotted a mile off.

Listen to your husband. There's a reason you married him.

I received a text to thank me after the last wedding I went to.

You are not wrong, l wouldn't expect a card, but a watsapp or a txt at least..
Im still annoyed my niece didn't say thank you for the money sent her as a wedding gift, we weren't invited to the wedding as it was a small affair, but how long does it take to send a message.

I got married 3 years ago and sent thank you cards to all my guests.
My husband sent them to his (on my prompting).