To mention lack of thank you card

Ooh, this thread has been quite eye opening to me! I'm late 30s and definitely thought thank you cards were still a thing (and was mildly perturbed after the last wedding I went to when I received no acknowledgement of our gift, though wouldn't have dreamt of "following up").

I've had fun making little thank you cards with my young kid after her birthday / Christmases - I thought it was a nice way to teach her gratitude and graciousness. Am I being a total dinosaur??

My husband's family rarely acknowledge gifts we've sent (not even a text) and have also made it clear they think thank you cards are silly when I've sent them. I always thought it was slightly rude, or perhaps cultural differences, but realising now that perhaps I'm just horrendously old fashioned!

Ive never been to a wedding and not received a thank you card. I obviously have friends with better manners than a lot of people on Mumsnet! I would inwardly judge someone who didn’t but I wouldn’t actually say anything to them. And I’d probably make a little less effort with any future gifts for them.
Manners seem to be dying out nowadays.

It doesnt mstter what they say, they clearly dont want to.

Whynis it so important to you to say something woth the intention of causing awkwardness so you can feel superior and like you've taught a lesson?

It's really pathetic.

Do you have some sort of spreadsheet to keep track of gifts and mark off the thank you cards? I certainly would move on after a year!

People always seem to be falling over themselves on here to scoff at saying thank you and sending thank you cards.

I’m early 40s, I’m far from an old fuddy duddy, but if somebody gives me a gift or helps at my wedding a think you card is the very least I could do.

It doesnt even have to be a card. I get cards for people who I know appreciate cards. For people who ar likely to throw cards in the bin I get a plant or a bunch of flowers or a cake or a nice soap….just something and say “thanks”.

That being said, I’m not sure how you could raise it without looking petty.

I have family members who never said thank you for gifts of cash (a text message would have been fine). I just stopped doing it.

I'd be pissed off too OP but not to the point that I'd bring it up a year later. I just wouldn't both gifting to them or their future offspring. If they have children they will never thank you for anything as their parents won't have taught them manners.

It's been a year. Give it up now. That's a long time to hold a grudge on an out of date concept.

Yes I believe in manners and it would be nice to be thanked. However, the last 3 weddings that I have attended, I never got a word of thanks for the money I gave.

They are all in their 20s so maybe it's not a thing for their generation.

But to hold a grudge for a year is bloody childish.

I don’t actually know if they received the money, the cards were left in a box so it could have got lost or stolen.
This is why you send thank-yous. For all we know the newly weds are seething, one year on, because they think no gift was given.
People don't want thank-yous so they can feel superior. They want them so they know that the gift got there safely.

MN is bonkers sometimes.

I think just let it go and get on with your life. You can’t control others’ actions.

Then I'd be surprised but remember that they invited me and spent money on food etc.

It's bad manners not to say thank you, but it wouldn't bother me a year on.

No you're not old fashioned... you simply have manners.

Many of us do send them but you'd hardly believe it reading this thread. Everyone I know would send them, it is the norm for decent people after weddings.

The vote result doesn't surprise me. You'll get so many posts saying people don't do cards it s waste of time and paper what does it matter.

My kids are 20-24 and still send thank yous. I've brought them up with manners. If someone is kind enough to send cash or spend the time to chose and give a gift, a card is the right response.

I presume thry said something like thank you for coming at the time, no i dont expect a thank you card for anything that is what the words thank you are for

This is your husband's family. If anything were to be said, it should come from him. But let it go.

I sent them after my wedding in 2010

But you can’t chase somebody up over one after a year!! Let it go OP.

I still send thank you cards after being invited for dinner and for any birthday or Christmas presents so can't imagine not thanking folks for a wedding present and help. I also write to thank the hosts for the wedding invitation and party
... I love getting a card / letter in the post.

This should be enough if something must be sent.

Personally, if people thank me on the day that's fine.

Yeah, but it is a habit in the place where the are living now?

It just looks weird to be buthurt a year after over a missing bit of performative gratefullnes.

I am with you, I think it's rude not to send a thank-you card. I would not say anything as I don't think it will achieve anything

Saying 'I am expecting a thank you card still for the wedding gift I gave you a year ago'. Isn't really going to go down well.

They invited you and presumably supplied food, drink and entertainment. I personally would try and send thank you cards straight after the event but many don't and you shouldn't take it as an insult.

You aren't though are you?

You're no less aggressive with your petty "shall I say something because she doesn't even have a job and she hasn't thanked me for my money".

You can say it with pretty words but your attitude about it stinks. I'd never behave like you. So if you want to call me aggressive for being blunt, sure, go ahead. It doesn't mean you're acting like a nicer person than me though.