To mention lack of thank you card

Thank you cards sound like a crazy waste of time and paper to me!

Did they thank you for coming and for the gift on the day or at another point while you were with them?

Yes it should be thanked. We had an office wedding two years ago. The cards gifts were thanked for in the speeches. I def find even in godkids cards now I dont get thanked. But only takes a minute to text

It’s really quite simple:

For most gift giving and invitations, a thoughtful WhatsApp or emailed thank-you will suffice. Thoughtful meaning at least 2-3 personalised sentences, not just “thanks for the gift/dinner”.

However, if it’s the sort of wedding where formal invitations were sent out, a proper, mailed thank-you card for gifts is the done thing.

People who have spent mega bucks on a wedding can send thank you cards. Postage is nothing when compared to what is spent on most weddings. It’s the price it is because some people live in out of the way places.

Never put cash in envelopes! That’s the old fashioned bit. Do a bank transfer surely? Weddings are so busy cash is not a great idea. Who has cash anyway?

Just in case anyone didn’t realise it, but Smythson still do Thank You cards. I’m beginning to think this is a class and manners issue. Some have both and some don’t.

It is true you shouldn't give a gift in order to be thanked, and I get that thank-you cards are a bit old fashioned, and postage is daylight robbery.

But the concept of thanking someone for a gift is basic courtesy and so much easier to do nowadays. A quick WhatsApp or a text is all that's needed to say "thank you so much, much appreciated".

I think the couple should have acknowledged your present, but not necessarily by a written card. Text or email is fine. It would also have been OK for you to have sent a chatty text closer to the time asking if they had received it but I would leave it now, it’s too far back.

some of these replies are so funny - people just love to be rude these days especially (or only?) online 😉.
YANBU. Thank you cards / texts are common courtesy and I too will continue to teach my children this. At the very least so you know they got it if in a card box!

I would have been happy with a text message or email. It is nice being thanked a few weeks after the event - it feels as though they are remembering their day and their guests. But totally no thanking is saving us money, as if people can't be arsed to do it, I can't be bothered to give a present.

Yes, a thank you card should be sent to anyone who has given a gift. It takes five minutes max to sign a thank you card and address an envelope; or an e-card which is even quicker would be better than nowt.

I have given wedding gifts where I haven't received a card - I'd never mention it and wouldn't let it affect a friendship/family relationship - but it makes me think the couple are somewhat ill-mannered or thoughtless, unless I'm aware they have something going on such as serious illness.

I'd have being perfectly happy with a text or a WhatsApp but when you get nothing it's a bit galling

I think as long as a thank you is given in some way then it is fine. Absolutely no card needed. Waste of card and stamps are ridiculous.

I sent out wedding cards but everything else like baby presents, kids bday presents and other presents, i all thank via whatsapp.

I am totally with you.

Over 10 years ago we handed a wedding card to my DH's nephew and his wife with $150 in it. I told my SIL (his Mum) to make sure they didn't leave the card behind before going back to the US as it had money in it.

Never heard a word. No thanks. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. And they had our email address. I don't hand someone $150 to not even have an acknowledgement.

As you can see, I haven't forgotten. It's the height of rudeness.

Blimey. How ridiculous of your relative.

But that and the nonplussed responses from some of the people you apologised to just goes to show, there is no settled etiquette on this issue any more.

When I got married in my early twenties a few years ago, I had no idea that we were supposed to send thank you cards. We thanked everyone in speeches, we thanked each guest personally, text them the next day to say thank you and then did a post on social media, tagging everyone that was online, thanking everyone again. We thought that was enough.

One family member caused a huge fuss, fall outs were had and it caused me so so much anxiety that I kept thinking to myself that all of our guests must have felt that way and thinking we're ungrateful and rude. So I text everyone apologising that we hadn't sent them and most didn't even care.

If you're thanking people several times over the day or two they're joining you to see you marry then surely that's enough? I don't think thank you cards are the norm now but oh boy, if I'd have known then I'd have sent them because that family member caused so much shit over a fucking thank you card.

They’re not. It’s basic manners to thank people

It is just rude not to text thankyou to an Aunty who sent a wedding gift and wasn't even invited to the wedding. That would annoy me too. A text takes about 30 seconds.

I agree it's rude not to send a thank you card. Always has been and continues to be. I've never not received one after a wedding..but you shouldn't say anything about it....as that would also be rude.

It's 2025, we don't need to do thank you cards anymore. It's all well and good saying "back in my day blah blah blah" but it is 2025. Anyone under the age of 30 is most likely not going to give a shit about the cultural norms of the mid 1900s.

Hmm, I'd say people complaining about not getting thanked for a child's birthday present get much shorter shrift on MN than those complaining about not being thanked for a wedding present. As you say, the expense is so much less.

Ideally they would have thanked you in some way.

But come on, this is history now, a year later. You would look ridiculous mentioning it. Really petty and creating a bad atmosphere/feeling.

Either enjoy their company or don’t meet up. But having not seen a relative for ages, goign to see them and getting a bollockign (however subtly delivered) would just make you not want to go again.

I’ve had one ‘thank you’ from the last four weddings we have attended. None of the weddings were local to us, and we gifted over £200 to each couple. I find it insanely rude that entitled people think that a lazy, generic ‘Thanks to everyone who celebrated with us yesterday’ Facebook post is sufficient recognition of someone paying a fortune and giving up days of their time to attend their wedding.

People understandably complain when they don’t get a thank you for a child’s birthday gift (which has probably cost £25 and 30 minutes of your time). Yet it’s ’old fashioned’ to expect similar for something that’s cost £1000+ and three days.

My DS got married a couple of months ago. I was thanked verbally at the wedding for attending and had a text when I filled in my 'purchase' from the wedding gift list, thanking me for my choice. I wouldn't expect (or, indeed, know what to do with) a thank you card. Society has moved on in the many years since I got married first time and my mother made me sit and fill in thank you cards for gifts. But she also made me write thank you letters for Christmas presents because it was expected then. As long as you've been thanked in some format, I count that as a win.

Christ, it's been a year. Get over it. I might have made a mental note of hmmm no thank you card and then completely forgot about it. The fact you are still stewing over it a year later is weird, and no you shouldn't mention it now, or ever.

Yeah it's nice to receive a thank you card, but for whatever reason she hasn't done it. I wouldn't get worked up about it.

I send cards but if someone thanks me face to face or by text then I would be happy with that. No acknowledgement at all is a bit rude but many people don't send cards these days.....have you seen how much stamps cost?