To mention lack of thank you card

Texting a thanks is perfectly acceptable nowadays. Doesn’t take any effort to text a thank you. (Assuming you have their number).

While I accept that thank you cards are a very pretty idea, I live in a country that doesn't do those or any kinds of cards so I don't mean to be goady but what am I actually supposed to do with them? I mean I receive a thank you card for a wedding or whatever but what then? Presumably it just gets thrown in the bin after opening so I do consider it rather a waste of time.

I used to refuse birthday parties and gifts because I hated writing thank you cards.

Would rather not have the gift than spend time writing the thank you card.

I still am of the opinion that if you buy me a gift don’t expect more than a personal thank you
If you are expecting me to put it down in writing (ADHD, dyslexia ASD) then you can keep the gift.

It’s a beautiful notion and you have beautiful manners. Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t lower your manners to match those of people’s who are in the gutter. Definitely don’t gift £200 again to such ungrateful couples either, that was very generous.

I do, and so do my children. They already have far better manners than many adults, which is embarrassing for those adults really!

How ungrateful. They are not ‘baffling’ at all, only to people who have poor manners. I’m actually ‘baffled’ by people who allow their children to rip open birthday/Xmas presents mindlessly with zero clue who actually bothered to give them to them.

I note down who bought my children what (as I am grateful to anyone who spent money and time on choosing a gift for my children). My children write a personal thank you card to each person, they enjoy doing them and they are great at saying what they liked or enjoyed about it.

I also purposefully thank people out loud in front of my children and tell them how much they are enjoying playing with x to model and teach them proper gratitude and appreciation. I don’t want them to grow up being spoilt and entitled and thinking it is OK to play with things they have absolutely no idea who gave them.

Nobody doesn't do thank you cards, or at least an acknowledgement, in my world.

Nobody does thank you cards anymore.

Has she not thanked you in any way at all?

I went to 2 family weddings last year. Both times put £200 in a card. Received a thank you for neither. This made me think that maybe it’s not a ‘thing’ anymore. I would never say anything.

When we got married, we had thank you cards that had a photo of us on the wedding day and we diligently wrote one to every single person that gave us a gift. Maybe that’s an old fashioned notion nowadays. 🤷‍♀️

Not aggressive. Adult language on an adult forum. No sugar coating. Not that it makes a difference, OP still stinks she ought to fanny around getting herself involved in blaming her brother's wife or husband's sister for their joint lack of a thank you card that she thinks she bought the right to.

So what issues are people allowed to post about then?

you're very lucky that you must have very little life problems so this seems like an issue.
people dont send thank you cards anymore.

Why so aggressive, was steam coming out your ears (or nose 😁) 😤

Unpacking your issue.

A) you want to check they got your money - ask your mother in law or your husband can ask his brother. No need to mention thank you letters, you are just worried the card got lost.

B) you think the bride is rude. While there is an undercurrent of seixism or old fashioned stereotypes here, there is nothing you can do about other people’s manners. Maybe think about why you think it’s the woman’s role to do this.

C) I suspect you don’t like the bride from your description in the opening post. It seems you do t have to see her much. She is living her life, you should live yours. It’s a small issue, so likely the fact that this still irks you a year later means it’s about something else:

and I too like a thank you letter after a wedding. I think it sucks that it usually falls to be bride and that society believes all a man has to do is show up at his wedding while all the work falls on the bride. For all you know she has decided he deals with his half and deals with hers. So it’s the groom you should be annoyed at

Not defunct here and I judge ppl who don't send them. I have two BILs - one sends thank you cards, the other never does -i think he's rude.

Erm, at my wedding we had a table for gifts and had a sign that said thank you so much for coming and thank you if you left a gift. We didn't expect any in fact we asked people to donate to a named charity if they did want to give anything.
I wouldn't send a card. Its not important to them but important to you so I can understand but it's a card and im sure the dsil was thankful when it was received. Is it worth damaging a relationship over, no. Ask yourself is this the hill you want to die on? If yes, carry on. If no, let it go.

@PrincessASDaisy She didn’t. Dropped in a container with other cards!

I do think you should have recieved a thank you. But I dont think you can dictate it being a card.

And doing something nice for someone doesnt entitle you to that reciprocation.

I understand why you feel the way you do. But I think you have to let jt go

…did they say thank you when you gave it to them?

@TreeDudette What else about a wedding is a waste? Many items that are included in a lavish wedding and hen/stag dos are a “waste”. Recycled paper is the least of it! All those flowers! All that petrol used to get to the wedding! All that money spent on clothes people won’t wear again. All that money on hire suits and acres of table cloths and silly favours. What about hire of bridal cars and the expense of the wedding dress!? It’s an endless spend fest and posters worry about a few cards and stamps. It’s ludicrous. Never mind the stag do in Vegas then!

Haha I was going to say YABU but then remembered I'm still irrationally annoyed about a wedding we drove 5 hours to, paid for a hotel room and bought thoughtful gifts, only to not hear from the couple at all afterwards. And no, we didnt do anything rude or embarrassing at the event. It was a friend of DH and she finally got in touch a couple years later to ask for travel tips for a location near where we live. CF!
Didn't expect a thank you card, that's a bit OTT. But a text saying thanks for coming and cheers for the gift (which had been very specically chosen based on a theme to their friendship) might have been nice. Especially as we travelled all that way just for a wedding party, they had their actual wedding abroad and we didn't get invited.

When we got married, it was donations to a cancer charity instead of gifts. People could donate directly online, some brought cash in their card. We got a total amount donated figure from the charity, some people had donated anonymously, so we sent a thank you to everyone which covered thank you for sharing our day and if you also gave to our charity, this is the total we got. I wouldn't dream of not thanking someone!

OP doesn’t say she has no thanks. Just no thank you card.
Edit: I see in later posts she says no acknowledgement at all -odd not to mention that in the OP and to be so specific about a ‘Thank you card’.
It’s rude not to say thank you at all, of course it is, it a year on I’d stop being upset.

If you were thanked in any way, I would just take that. You won't get a card after all this time & it's not really necessary. But I'd definitely expect a thank you of some kind, otherwise its just rude

My cousin never thanked anyone for any gifts to her wedding/child's christening etc. But she's a selfish cow so I'd expect nothing more!