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AIBU?

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Am I being unreasonable asking my husband to not go away for 2 weeks after just having a baby?

184 replies

Watters01 · 24/07/2025 20:37

My DH is a practicing catholic and, around 18 months ago, was asked if he wanted to go on a pilgrimage to Lourdes. I didn’t want to be the bad guy for saying no so I thought what the hey, it’s only 2 weeks, I can handle 3 kids on my own. Fast forward a few months and we found out I was unexpectedly pregnant with our 4th child. I casually mentioned about probably not going on the trip now, as we would have a newborn and it’s a lot to put on me, but he kind of brushed it to one side and said about maybe not doing it. This carried on going like this up until I gave birth with me getting more irate and cross.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, he eventually refused to cancel the trip so in about 2 weeks time I am going to be left on my own for 2 weeks with a newborn, 3yr old, 7yr old and 10yr old. All our family work full time so are unable to help me and to top it off it’s the summer holidays so there’s just no break!
AIBU for being really upset about the whole thing? I appreciate it’s a religious pilgrimage but I feel really resentful and quite. disrespected about the whole thing.

OP posts:
Praying4Peace · 24/07/2025 20:44

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Not sure what you mean by that?

Wish44 · 24/07/2025 20:44

What would god say? He will be judged for this!

PricklyLikeCactus · 24/07/2025 20:44

Your husband is an arsehole. I bet this isn’t the only time he’s behaved like a selfish bastard in your marriage either, you’ve just felt better able to cope before. I would be telling him not to come back afterwards if he really intends to go.

Praying4Peace · 24/07/2025 20:43

But if the pilgrimage means a lot to husband and it was preplanned, I think he should go.
Yes, very hard work for op but it is only 2 weeks

monicagellerbing · 24/07/2025 20:42

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SwingTheMonkey · 24/07/2025 20:42

This really should have been sorted out before now. But if it were me, I’d be making it clear that if he put a trip above being a parent and husband when he’s needed the most, he shouldn’t bother coming back.

DuckieDodgyHedgyPiggy · 24/07/2025 20:40

No, YANBU. Lourdes will still be there next year, when you haven't got a newborn. Of course he should be staying at home with you when you need him.

rainydaysaway · 24/07/2025 20:39

YANBU that’s terrible behaviour and not very Christian of him

IDontDrinkTea · 24/07/2025 20:39

I’ve been to Lourdes before. I honestly can’t see why you’d need two weeks there - a day or two would do it

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