Am I being unreasonable asking my husband to not go away for 2 weeks after just having a baby?

So he should let his wife and children down instead?

He's a selfish bastard.

Can his priest have a word with him? Remind him of the importance of the sacrament of marriage and putting his spouse above all others?

You don’t need two weeks to do a pilgrimage to Lourdes. I would tell him if he is not prepared to put if off for the moment he goes for three days and then comes back

he is incredibly selfish to think that it’s acceptable to leave you with a newborn baby and three other kids for two weeks

if he does go then I would be telling him not to return

selfish selfish man

Is he a volunteer supporting others who are going? If so he’d be letting them down

Exactly this.

I thought that but I have a nasty suspicious mind

Most of my older brothers had ‘formative’ experiences in Lourdes and they weren’t saintly ones

If he goes he’ll spend two weeks with everyone he meets cringing and thinking he’s an utter, utter wanker when they ask if he has kids and he cheerfully shares he’s got four, including a new one, and has left them all with his wife at home to deal with solo shortly after birth.

What an embarrassment of a father.

My Dad was a volunteer on a Lourdes pilgrimage. Every year for 7-10 days as soon as schools broke up he would bugger off leaving Mum with 8+ kids. Missed two of the kids birthdays every year.

We survived, resentfully.

frankly he can go to Lourdes any year, they literally run diocesan pilgrimages every year.

He is being a dick but you will also be fine.

BTW with pilgrimage and medical transport it takes ages each way plus it’s usually a few days in Lourdes. It’s like a festival with loads of special events and resentful teenage volunteers getting pissed and shagging about

He's a selfish prick. I would never forgive him for this.

Also, no one spends 2 whole weeks in Lourdes! So there's something he's not telling you.

Usually the reasons are better than a father of 4 wanting to go on holiday right after his most recent child has been born.

I am a practising catholic.I only know about Lourdes pilgrimages lasting about four to five days.

Is he going on a trip with his own church? Honestly I would contact the priest, they'd probably make it very clear to him it's not appropriate to be going on pilgrimage when you have a newborn baby and three kids at home. Awful behaviour.

YANBU OP. He sounds like my ExH: out at all hours to be seen doing good things for people at church, sod all care for his wife and babies at home. Not kind, not Christian.

Your husband is arse and he’s using religion to hide behind, which in itself is hilarious.

The lengths some men will go to to avoid family life now apparently includes a 2 week long trip to Lourdes!!

I think you should have said no ages ago. But really he should have cancelled once he figured out the timing. Total dick move. But now that it’s here you need to focus on how to get yourself some help. Sign the kids up for clubs, set up loads of play dates, call in every favour, get a cleaner… whatever would help. He has the money for two entire weeks away so he must be able to afford to get you all the help that’s possible. Do you have a cousin or sister or friend who could fly in to help?

This isn’t a pilgrimage for religious reasons is it? It’s a two-week jolly. No he shouldn’t be leaving you looking after a newborn and three other children alone.

So he’s disappearing for two weeks in the middle of the kids summer holidays and leaving you with four DC?
As others have said, I’ve never know anyone spend more than a couple of days in Lourdes. You sure he’s not off to a second family somewhere? (I’m not joking there either)

Yeah, but probably not because one of the parents has fucked off on a jolly for a fortnight when there's a newborn in the house

Who goes to Lourdes for 2 weeks ? Our Diocesan trips are a week… which involves travelling there on the coach. It’s Mass, Grotto, Candlelit Parade.. and home. Not somewhere anyone would spend 2 weeks.

Two weeks! I am also Catholic and I have never heard of anyone going to Lourdes for any more than a couple of days. You are definitely not being unreasonable. He is a disgrace and should not be going!

Surely his wife & children mean more to him no? Surely, as a Christian man he can sacrifice his little holiday and man up enough to look after the ones that mean the most? Surely his ‘god’ would want him to do that?

Are you gonna get a 2 week holiday with him looking after all 4 kids alone? Tell him you're booking that in and do it.

Can you find and then cut the corner of his passport? Preferably the day before the trip

Yeah but personally, I don’t look at the worst possible behaviour from a spouse and think that if what my husband is doing is slightly better than that, then I’m on to a winner.

I couldn’t give a fuck if others have solo parented with a newborn for longer, I wouldn’t expect such low standards for myself - particularly for some absolute bullshit religious trip.