Am I being unreasonable asking my husband to not go away for 2 weeks after just having a baby?

He’s a selfish twat.

Who on earth goes on a 2week pilgrimage to Lourdes? Bloody ridiculous.

Another "man" hiding behind religion to just be selfish!

If he was going on a lads holiday or a stag do, everyone would be up in arms about it! But because it's a "pilgrimage" there are some that actually justify it! Abandoning his wife and four children at a time of need is the very opposite of a "good catholic "thing to do.

OP - YANBU - I'd be fuming especially when you already expressed your opinion on this way in advance of the trip too.

2 weeks? In Lourdes?!

He's taking the piss. What an arsehole.

Show him these comments.

Surely god or Jesus or whoever is low maintenance too and can sit on their cloud quite happy without OPs husband bothering them?

I would never guess that such a piously religious person could be such a massive cunt 🤷‍♀️

Appalling of him. My cousin runs a charity event to take several disabled people to Lourdes annually: he takes his sixth formers to help, they never stay more than about 5 days. If he’s doing this as a personal pilgrimage, that’s pretty bloody selfish, frankly.

Edited to say: when my brother went back in the day, it was basically a piss up.

Some example he's setting there. He'll go fuck off on a (religious) trip and leave his family including a newborn and post partum mother without help.

That's cold.

Why should they come above a wife and children he’s letting down?

You should be livid. He’s being so cruel and it’s ironic that he is doing it in the name of Christianity. He should be bending over backwards to look after his family at a difficult time. If he is so desperate to go he should arrange and pay for a nanny or some other help to help you, if that is something you would be comfortable with. This would make me seriously consider the relationship honestly.

read that back to yourself

A newborn isn't low maintenance. At least, mine weren't. They were up all night and I was severely sleep deprived. One of them screamed every time I tried to put him down and do anything else, and one had colic. It's not too bad if you have nothing else to do, but with 3 other children who need looking after, I think it's massively unreasonable that he would even contemplate this.

Go to his church this Sunday. Take all 4 children, when they make noise make no effort to quieten them down. Then speak to the priest and say your husband is flouting his Christian responsibilities as a father and husband.

I also have a suspicious mind though

this is not what a pilgrimage to Lourdes is. At all.

2 weeks is extreme.
Is it with the bishop?
op, an you hire help?

Is this a joke?! Leaving your wife with a newborn and three kids for me would be grounds for divorce. I definitely do not think a pilgrimage counts in the list of stuff that would warrant such shitty behaviour. I am sure it has been done before but for any reasonable husband there would need to be a very important reason. A two week jolly does not count.

Two weeks is a long time and also it’s not only two weeks. It is the specific two weeks that is two weeks after she has had a baby. She’s looking after four children, which are also his, but she is the one that’s recovering from childbirth. So yeah. Not just two weeks.

With all these things (DH trips post baby) - I always think, would it be unreasonable for the DW to go leaving a new born at home? The answer would typically be yes (breastfeeding or not). So why is it ok for men to do it?!

In other words OP, YANBU.

What about letting his WIFE down, or doesn't she matter when it comes to religion??

He should be ashamed of himself to even think about leaving his wife and kids at this time.

As for going for 2 weeks, when lots of people have pointed out that a trip to Lourdes only usually lasts 4 or 5 days, it seriously makes me wonder if this is what he's actually up to. Are you sure he's going on a religious trip, and not a holiday with some other woman OP?

@Watters01my partner used to do things like this on a regular basis when we had newborns/toddlers. Plus festivals, nights out until the early hours getting home very drunk, helping his sister, parents, sister’s neighbours, out washing the car, mowing the lawn etc. All whilst I was drowning..I have never got past this, never forgotten or forgiven. We now live separate lives under the same roof.

Jesus Christ , words fail me. He’s a complete xxxxxxx

Id say he has another woman on the side and this is a 2 week holiday together.

if its with the church or not contact the priest. Honestly if he really goes take the opportunity to pack his bags and change the locks.

It’s spectacular virtue signalling. My dad got loads of SuperRC points from it.

I’m sorry but this is divorce territory. If you can survive without him for 2
weeks with a newborn and 3 older kids off school all day then what exactly is the point of him?

also I’m catholic and trips to Lourdes are 3-4 days max. And can be done any year. I went age 10. Absolutely no need whatsoever for him to go now, at the worst possible time for your family.

I bet this isn’t the only shit husband/father thing he’s done?

What a hypocrite he is. He would show more faith by staying and looking after his wife and children.

Tell him if he goes, he will come back to divorce.

If he’s been “asked to go” that sounds like a bit of a jolly? So pointing out that Lourdes will still be there next year won’t appeal to him, he wants to go with his mates.

if they’re religious though, surely his mates would appreciate that following his own selfish desires makes a trip to Lourdes pretty ironic?

Surely a newborn is low maintenance and your 7 and 10 yo will help? You have 4 kids so you're hardly inexperienced. Can he shorten it to a week?