Unisex toilets in new office - dread going into work

In the distant past, there were just toilets. And they were for men. Because women didn't participate in public life. Single sex toilets originated in the nineteenth century when women started to enter the workforce. The term "the uninary leash" relates to the amount of time women could spend outside the house before needing to return to use toilet facilities.

Eh? I thought unisex toilets were a modern thing? 'In the days' it was always Gents and Ladies.

Yes - complain to your HR and the other company's HR. Practice your withering stare.

The final straw for me was this afternoon when I walked out of a cubicle and a spotty young lad said he will ‘join me next time’

What did you say to this? I would have gone ballistic and would have followed him and reported him to his own company.

I would also be informing my company that i would be using external/public toilets toilets in the future. Yes, thats not practical, but not a chance i'd be using a unisex toilet. Going to the "ladies" is sometimes a chance for me to get 5 mins to myself, wash my hands, check my hair etc.

I think we’re permitted to try and mitigate all rape, whether the perpetrator is known to the victim or not. Who’s said otherwise?

@Jimmyneutronsforehead I don’t think there’s anything wrong in using an accessible loo at work so long as no one with a disability is waiting- I’m in and out in minutes!
i feel uncomfortable and anxious using the unisex ones so if it ever became an issue( which it wouldn’t where I work) then I would be taking it further. I’m grateful I work somewhere where the men are incredibly respectful!

Both are a problem. Women must not be sexually harassed and must be provided with single sex toilets in the workplace.

Please quote the guidelines that are being followed.

There are loads of well-funded LBGTQ+ organisations, like Stonewall, who have been training organisations and undermining the law by misrepresenting it and encouraging them to break it. DEI is a huge industry that promotes the demands of a select group at the expense of others, especially women.

But surely they can make such inappropriate comments elsewhere? Wherever they occur, they should be reported. I think the loos are a separate issue and it sounds like they follow the HSE guidelines.

Its not the toilets that are the problem... its the behaviour of the dickheads using them.
Go down that route.
Sexist and inappropriate behaviour.

But they can’t approach the other company and report sexual harassment against their own employees?

shame on your company. Seriously.

Apologies - I've just seen that OP has been back to comment further.

When toilets become mixed sex, the design changes and they become private and it is the complete privacy that causes the problem.

The private area from the opposite sex should be the sink area. The cubicles should have door gaps (15cm is enough from floor-door) for safety, ventilation and easily cleaning. It prevents misuse.

It is irrelevant whether men want privacy from the opposite sex in the toilets too - that is not an excuse to sexually harass women.

I just wondered because it seems the law is clear about what is and isn't allowed so it seems unlikely that lots of institutions etc are breaking it. Whenever I've used toilets assigned to both sexes, they've always been cubicles with floor to ceiling walls and with a wash basin in the cubicle. It just seemed strange to me that OP hasn't been back to comment further.

I am beginning to go with option 2 more ofteh than option 1.
Eg there is poster on another thread saying that OP should in an communal mixed sex mixed age swimming pool shower stick her hand under her swim wear and rub it around her genitals 🤳 😬

My workplace is not set up the way OP describes (although I’ve been a recent visitor to client offices that have been), in that it has theoretically separate-sex loos - cubicles inside, with the hand basins in a public area (plus a set of urinals in the ‘men’s.’)

On paper, they’re compliant. In reality the company is very “use the facilities you’re comfortable with” - so not compliant at all.

The regs are great, if there’s anyone actually enforcing them and/or prepared to stick their head above the parapet and complain.

These are not ‘unisex’ toilets - which must be fully enclosed with sink. So you work place does not comply with the law.

Your company is also exposing you to sexual harassment. Submit a complaint.

😁
I would love to stop talking about toilets! But since I have experience of saving a young women’s life (nightclub, choked on her own vomit) due to seeing her blue hand on the floor of her closed cubicle because of the door gap, I started researching why the door gaps were disappearing in design several years ago. Particularly in schools (I am an ex-teacher) because I saw the reports on assaults in school toilets. Then I saw the stats for 1 rape per school day inside school premises and wanted to know where this could be. No one could tell me but it appears to be store cupboards and toilets that were private.

Through talking to government depts, there is no oversight on assaults and deaths in toilets outside the home so I have collated a lot of information. I have enough for a book!

Since the Supreme Court ruling I thought it would calm down but it’s ramped up. Everyone has an opinion about design without analysing what goes on in them.

When people say unisex are ok because they are ‘lockable’ toilets it creates a false sense of security - I know they aren’t lockable in the sense people think secure. It’s difficult because I want to raise awareness but not to the ‘wrong’ people. However, it is already being abused so I feel I should speak up to inform people what I have found.

Although I've never bought the argument that "most rapes are by someone known to the woman so we can stop worrying about stranger rapes", if the worst did happen and someone is assaulted in a workplace unisex toilet, it probably wouldn't be classed as a stranger rape anyway - it would be rape by a work colleague. So - YAY - it would seem that, in fact, we are permitted to try to mitigate workplace toilet rapes.

Part of the issue is that men and women in general as well as OP want privacy from the opposite sex.

Why should OP have to coach men on how to behave appropriately when faced with women in the toilets? Why not just have single sex toilets like we’ve always had?

My dh is a very nice man but would feel extremely uncomfortable with a woman in the toilets. My fil would likely have another heart attack - he has very proper manners.

I get it, but it doesn't bother me overall. I think all the talk of the rare occasion some trans person might use the toilet has led to unisex toilets which in my opinion are always filthy and far, far worse.

You believe wrongly.

Women get same sex washing areas as well or an individual wash area which has a lockable door

Washing facilities
21.—(1) Suitable and sufficient washing facilities, including showers if required by the nature of the work or for health reasons, shall be provided at readily accessible places.

(2) Without prejudice to the generality of paragraph (1), washing facilities shall not be suitable unless—
(a)they are provided in the immediate vicinity of every sanitary convenience, whether or not provided elsewhere as well;
(b)they are provided in the vicinity of any changing rooms required by these Regulations, whether or not provided elsewhere as well;
(c)they include a supply of clean hot and cold, or warm, water (which shall be running water so far as is practicable);
(d)they include soap or other suitable means of cleaning;
(e)they include towels or other suitable means of drying;
(f)the rooms containing them are sufficiently ventilated and lit;
(g)they and the rooms containing them are kept in a clean and orderly condition;

and
(h)separate facilities are provided for men and women, except where and so far as they are provided in a room the door of which is capable of being secured from inside and the facilities in each such room are intended to be used by only one person at a time.

[(Edit to remove odd format)]

This sounds less like a unisex toilets issue and more like an issue with the men who work at the other company – I would be keeping a record of every inappropriate comment made and emailing their HR department each and every time. They sound awful.