Page 2 | To be annoyed when people say … but.. you do you

Absentmindedsmile · 2025-07-24T19:12:34+00:00

‘You do you’ 🤢🤢🤢🤢 Fck off. I keep seeing this on MN comments. Don’t hear it in real life. Similar to ‘give your head wobble’ but worse.

FightingTemeraire · 26/07/2025 08:26

Absentmindedsmile · 25/07/2025 12:28

It’s more like.. I’m right. You’re wrong. But I don’t want look ridiculous by going on about how right I am and how wrong you are, so I’ll say ‘you do you’ because I think it makes me look a little bit magnanimous.
Actually it makes anyone who says it look like an annoying twat.

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It really doesn’t. It simply means ‘I can’t be arsed arguing with you about naming your baby Jelly Bean-Makkaelah, so off you go.’

taxidriver · 26/07/2025 08:23

i guess it depends how its said, my lovely colleague would sometimes say it to me but it was generally in a joking manner

Bbq1 · 26/07/2025 08:14

When posters write a comment then put "no?" at the end turning it into a question.
It's SO patronising.

enigmainthemist · 26/07/2025 08:12

In my experience its only ever used in a haughty sense, said by people who are judgy twits

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 26/07/2025 08:10

‘That doesn’t work for me’ is another MN one I’ve never heard in RL. IMO a daft
expression - just say sorry, I can’t, too busy/tied up/have something else on. I don’t know why some people seem to have an aversion to plain English.

Springtimehere · 26/07/2025 07:51

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 26/07/2025 07:43

My mum says "it wouldn't do for us all to be the same" which sounds nice written down but is said in a tone that clearly means you aren't doing it like i would and youre wrong.

You're Mrs Wrong from Wrong Street in Wrong Town and it is a personal attack on my character that you're not doing it my way.

Ddakji · 26/07/2025 07:40

Absentmindedsmile · 24/07/2025 20:52

💯

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And usually aimed at someone who is completely wrong, everyone is telling them they’re wrong but they refuse to see it and want to carry on arguing about it.

It’s a way to shut them up so everyone can move on.

I’ve heard it used in real life. I’ve used it in real life. I can use it here too if you like.

Alwaysyoudoyou · 26/07/2025 07:37

I use it irl all the time, actually have it as a tattoo. It's a great life mantra I think. Never mean it passive aggressively. I agree with @skippy67 and @FightingTemeraire above. However I use it more when I've been asked for my opinion or advice. I seem to have a fair few anxious friends who think they're parenting 'wrong' so they ask others how they're doing it, and sometimes I'll explain how we do things but very much in a 'this works for us but you do you!' tone.

I sincerely think you should do what works for you and your unit, without guilt or comparison to others, and I will do the same. What works for me may not be right for you, and that should be completely fine. Therefore...you do you!

taxidriver · 26/07/2025 07:27

i really hate
Gentle reminder

the dentist sends an email with a gentle reminder
why?
just send a reminder

skippy67 · 25/07/2025 12:56

FightingTemeraire · 25/07/2025 12:24

It’s not. It’s more ’I think you’re completely wrong, but as I’m clearly never going to change your mind and it has no impact on my life, I’m not going bother to argue’.

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This is my take on it too. It's a very useful phrase.

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 25/07/2025 12:55

Or , " I am not racist / homophonic/ sexist but .... , and then follow with a comment that clearly is .

MeAndMyGhost · 25/07/2025 12:54

I put this saying in the same bracket as "it is what it is". Grrrr...

Sunshineismyfavourite · 25/07/2025 12:54

Yes especially when it's 'you do you HUN'. I mean isn't hun an abbreviation of honey - so it should be hon? I mean pedants assemble and all that!

Mu current bug bear is (and I have my sick bucket ready) The Insta posts from people on holidays and on beaches etc with the headline - Summer Lovin' 🙄

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 25/07/2025 12:52

I tend to say “well - we’ll have to agree to differ” - is that better, @Absentmindedsmile, or am I offending people too? <<worries>>

autienotnaughty · 25/07/2025 12:52

Gowlett · 25/07/2025 12:48

I really hate… Kindly, OP (insert forceful opinion)

Or gently- it’s the new, no offence but….

Rattytouille · 25/07/2025 12:50

I haven’t got a problem with you do you.

I think I’d use it, or have used it when someone is trying to manipulate me into thinking a certain way or do something I don’t want to do.

For me it’s more “you do you, and I’ll do me”. More of a “I don’t really care what you think, or do, but don’t tell me how to live my life”.

Hankunamatata · 25/07/2025 12:48

Its just a polite or not so polite way of saying no i wouldn't do that but couldn't give a flying f what you do tbh

Gowlett · 25/07/2025 12:48

I really hate… Kindly, OP (insert forceful opinion)

woodlandnoise · 25/07/2025 12:46

it’s more like.. I’m right. You’re wrong. But I don’t want look ridiculous by going on about how right I am and how wrong you are, so I’ll say ‘you do you’ because I think it makes me look a little bit magnanimous

I agree 100%. I think it's a very passive aggressive phrase usually tacked onto the end of a previous sentence that insults someone but then they put in "but you do you!" as if this negates the fact they've just insulted you. People do it to make themselves appear less of an arsehole.

It doesnt work btw- you still look like a twat. Why not just give your own opinion without having to drag down someone else who dares to do something differently- lots of us manage to do it!

OSTMusTisNT · 25/07/2025 12:44

"You do you" is handy in RL for unwanted unsolicited advice.

ComtesseDeSpair · 25/07/2025 12:41

FightingTemeraire · 25/07/2025 12:24

It’s not. It’s more ’I think you’re completely wrong, but as I’m clearly never going to change your mind and it has no impact on my life, I’m not going bother to argue’.

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This. And I think it’s fine, tbh. You see it a lot in AIBU where an OP clearly doesn’t believe they’re unreasonable or doing the wrong thing and just argues back at anyone who suggests otherwise. “Well, you do you” puts it to bed, since no minds are going to be changed and the person saying it doesn’t care enough to be invested.

autienotnaughty · 25/07/2025 12:41

FightingTemeraire · 25/07/2025 12:24

It’s not. It’s more ’I think you’re completely wrong, but as I’m clearly never going to change your mind and it has no impact on my life, I’m not going bother to argue’.

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@FightingTemeraireyou do you Queen

MzHz · 25/07/2025 12:32

I’ve used “you do you” when someone says that they would not do whatever I’ve done. Mostly judgemental comments usually.

I think that their opinion doesn’t matter at all, I’m more than capable of deducing my correct plan of action.

Original poster

Absentmindedsmile · 25/07/2025 12:28

FightingTemeraire · 25/07/2025 12:24

It’s not. It’s more ’I think you’re completely wrong, but as I’m clearly never going to change your mind and it has no impact on my life, I’m not going bother to argue’.

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It’s more like.. I’m right. You’re wrong. But I don’t want look ridiculous by going on about how right I am and how wrong you are, so I’ll say ‘you do you’ because I think it makes me look a little bit magnanimous.
Actually it makes anyone who says it look like an annoying twat.

OP posts: