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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed when people say … but.. you do you

62 replies

Absentmindedsmile · 24/07/2025 20:12

‘You do you’ 🤢🤢🤢🤢

Fck off. I keep seeing this on MN comments. Don’t hear it in real life.

Similar to ‘give your head wobble’ but worse.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 17:38

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 26/07/2025 17:05

Oh on here agreed. And I use a good fuck off liberally. I was meaning more in actual life that it sometimes has to be replaced by the weaselly jog variety.

But if you disagree with me then you do you 😆.

Edited
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Oh fuck off Jog on

OP posts:
AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 26/07/2025 17:05

Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 15:25

I think fuck off is more acceptable, I use it often. Less weasley.

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Oh on here agreed. And I use a good fuck off liberally. I was meaning more in actual life that it sometimes has to be replaced by the weaselly jog variety.

But if you disagree with me then you do you 😆.

Devilsmommy · 26/07/2025 15:52

Sunshineismyfavourite · 25/07/2025 12:54

Yes especially when it's 'you do you HUN'. I mean isn't hun an abbreviation of honey - so it should be hon? I mean pedants assemble and all that!

Mu current bug bear is (and I have my sick bucket ready) The Insta posts from people on holidays and on beaches etc with the headline - Summer Lovin' 🙄

You just made me remember "holibobs" 🤮

Original poster
Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 15:33

taxidriver · 26/07/2025 08:23

i guess it depends how its said, my lovely colleague would sometimes say it to me but it was generally in a joking manner

You’re correct, yes. It’s not what you say but how you say it, that counts.. The thing is on MN it’s all on text so nuance is lost, in addition to the fact that often, posters are clearly being twats Self-righteous annoying.

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Original poster
Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 15:29

Sunshineismyfavourite · 25/07/2025 12:54

Yes especially when it's 'you do you HUN'. I mean isn't hun an abbreviation of honey - so it should be hon? I mean pedants assemble and all that!

Mu current bug bear is (and I have my sick bucket ready) The Insta posts from people on holidays and on beaches etc with the headline - Summer Lovin' 🙄

😂😂 agreed.

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ThatsABitExcessive · 26/07/2025 15:28

One thing I’m glad about is that mumsnetters have finally realised that the term “fuck off to the far side of fuck and when you get there, fuck off some more” is not the clever retort they thought it was and nobody says it anymore. I used to cringe everytime.

Original poster
Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 15:25

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 26/07/2025 10:15

Ah. I normally say jog off at times when it would be inappropriate to say fuck off. Is that still unacceptable?

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I think fuck off is more acceptable, I use it often. Less weasley.

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Isittimeformynapyet · 26/07/2025 10:21

Absentmindedsmile · 25/07/2025 12:28

It’s more like.. I’m right. You’re wrong. But I don’t want look ridiculous by going on about how right I am and how wrong you are, so I’ll say ‘you do you’ because I think it makes me look a little bit magnanimous.
Actually it makes anyone who says it look like an annoying twat.

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I think @FightingTemeraire was spot on actually.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 26/07/2025 10:15

Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 08:50

Ooo you’ve reminded me of another one. That is said irl. ‘Jog on’ 🤢

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Ah. I normally say jog off at times when it would be inappropriate to say fuck off. Is that still unacceptable?

LlynTegid · 26/07/2025 10:06

Overused I agree but well down the list of expressions that should be a social faux pas at least.

Mention of gentle reminder on one of the comments, an expression I never use, and quite frankly is a sign of weakness. If people cannot meet deadlines, and need to be reminded, then be more forceful.

Jigsawtime · 26/07/2025 09:50

I used it in another way when teaching DC to drive in the context of ignoring idiots who drive aggressively. Think rural road with bends, DC doing 45 and drivers behind tailgating because they want to do 55. ‘You do you’ as in do what’s safe for you and ignore others.

Ddakji · 26/07/2025 09:35

Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 08:54

Omg, if ‘everyone is telling them they’re wrong’, they simply must be! Thank goodness you’ve found a way to try and silence them!

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You think the earth is flat? [15 minutes of “evidence” from instagram that the earth is flat] Well, you do you!

(Oh no, you’re right, of course the earth is flat!)

I can see why it annoys you, OP 🤣

Alwaysyoudoyou · 26/07/2025 09:25

Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 08:52

And you don’t even need to say it. Just point to your tattoo.. not a word need be spoken further..

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😂 it's not often on show, probably be the topic of a whole new thread if I was to go around flashing it! 'aibu not to want to see why friends ribs every time I ask her for advice?!'

It's in memoriam to someone who used to say it a lot, thought it was a good life mantra to remember I don't have to be a people pleaser and not everyone needs to agree.Think when used kindly it needn't be a condescending or irritating phrase.

taxidriver · 26/07/2025 09:12

we went to a hotel, dd was nosily asking why me and dh went for single beds, more room than a double, when we are used to a kingsize,
i was pleased when the receptionist said It isnt that deep
ha ha

ShesTheAlbatross · 26/07/2025 09:10

FightingTemeraire · 25/07/2025 12:24

It’s not. It’s more ’I think you’re completely wrong, but as I’m clearly never going to change your mind and it has no impact on my life, I’m not going bother to argue’.

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I agree. Particularly when someone has asked for advice/opinions “you’ve asked, you’ve been told you’re wrong, you’re ignoring that, so whatever, you do you”

ThomasinaHoskins · 26/07/2025 09:06

I’ve used both of these in the past week!

“You know what, you do you” to my 5 year old who wanted a bath bomb in the shower, and “summer holiday childcare costs virtually my entire salary for the month but it is what it is, I can’t avoid it”.

And I recently used “no offence”, in the context of “no offence but it’s Friday evening, I know I’m sitting next to you on the train and our kids went to nursery together, Mr KidsFriendDad, but I’m just going to to put my earphones in and scroll for the whole journey home instead of engaging in small talk for 40 minutes”. I’m basically a one woman annoying-soundbite machine. 😐

Original poster
Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 08:54

Ddakji · 26/07/2025 07:40

And usually aimed at someone who is completely wrong, everyone is telling them they’re wrong but they refuse to see it and want to carry on arguing about it.

It’s a way to shut them up so everyone can move on.

I’ve heard it used in real life. I’ve used it in real life. I can use it here too if you like.

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Omg, if ‘everyone is telling them they’re wrong’, they simply must be! Thank goodness you’ve found a way to try and silence them!

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Original poster
Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 08:52

Alwaysyoudoyou · 26/07/2025 07:37

I use it irl all the time, actually have it as a tattoo. It's a great life mantra I think. Never mean it passive aggressively. I agree with @skippy67 and @FightingTemeraire above. However I use it more when I've been asked for my opinion or advice. I seem to have a fair few anxious friends who think they're parenting 'wrong' so they ask others how they're doing it, and sometimes I'll explain how we do things but very much in a 'this works for us but you do you!' tone.

I sincerely think you should do what works for you and your unit, without guilt or comparison to others, and I will do the same. What works for me may not be right for you, and that should be completely fine. Therefore...you do you!

Edited

And you don’t even need to say it. Just point to your tattoo.. not a word need be spoken further..

OP posts:
Original poster
Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 08:50

neilyoungismyhero · 26/07/2025 08:48

I'm not keen on unmumsnetty hugs myself...

😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 08:50

FightingTemeraire · 26/07/2025 08:26

It really doesn’t. It simply means ‘I can’t be arsed arguing with you about naming your baby Jelly Bean-Makkaelah, so off you go.’

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Ooo you’ve reminded me of another one. That is said irl. ‘Jog on’ 🤢

OP posts:
neilyoungismyhero · 26/07/2025 08:48

I'm not keen on unmumsnetty hugs myself...

maudelovesharold · 26/07/2025 08:45

enigmainthemist · 26/07/2025 08:12

In my experience its only ever used in a haughty sense, said by people who are judgy twits

It’s completely the other way round for me! I’ve always regarded ‘you do you’ as a satisfying put-down for someone who’s being judgy about you - criticising the way you’re doing something, or suggesting that their way is better.

ScrambledEggs12 · 26/07/2025 08:37

taxidriver · 26/07/2025 07:27

i really hate
Gentle reminder

the dentist sends an email with a gentle reminder
why?
just send a reminder

Me too, and 'polite' reminder.

BusWankers · 26/07/2025 08:33

I like it, as well as "it isn't that deep"

Some modern turns of phrases are great.

Wadadli · 26/07/2025 08:32

Katflapkit · 24/07/2025 20:21

You forgot - Live your best life and Making memories.

I’m tempted to poke someone in the ribs if I hear “making <fucking> memories” said out loud. Unless one has a form of dementia, everyone makes memories, good, bad or indifferent. Hearing it boils my piss ♨️🤣

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