Fed up of my cousins comments about benefits and UC

If she's paying £400 a month then she is unlikely to be contributing very much to benefits bill.
Next time she moans ask her if she has set up a HMRC app account and actually checked what her taxes are spent on.
NI also contributes to her state pension entitlement. Also suggest that she puts more into a workplace pension it will reduce her tax bill as it comes off before tax so doesn't cost as much.

I pay quite a bit in tax (Scotland we have higher rates and lower thresholds).
I don't resent majority on UC at all it's stuck in a loop. I do get annoyed on mums Facebook group pages where women are asking how to exploit loopholes/maximise so they don't have to work because they don't want other people "raising their children".

I think what will rankle people is that if your youngest is 5 and at school, there’s no reason you can only work 3 days. You are in effect getting 2 child free days off at the expense of the tax payer and when some people are really struggling to make ends meet that’s a bit of a hard pill to swallow.

Point is not everyone has access to these clubs or can afford it. Being a single parent is really tough and maybe 5 days work would be far too much for her to give her son adequate care as she’s mentally drained, as you know we’re all different and have different bodiesz, minds and issues

Have you ever heard of the term 'barriers to employment'?

Not everyone is able to access full time employment for various reasons. Full time positions might not be available or might not fit around caring commitments for young children (e.g., nights).

I know where I live that two big barriers are lack of public transport and lack of childcare options. For example, buses here finish at 10pm which is pretty shit if your shift doesn't end until after that, after 5pm it's one bus an hour, on Sundays the buses don't start until 10am and they finish at 9pm, and they don't run at all on Bank Holidays. Childcare options consist of a private nursery for under 5s but it only has 50 spaces, the first school (ages 3 to 9) has wrap-around care from 7.30am to 5.30pm for a maximum of 30 children and can only be booked two weeks in advance so if you try to book and the spaces are gone - tough. There are childminders but not many and they only serve the first schools. Children here move to middle school at age 9. Neither of the middle schools has wrap-around care or after school clubs and none of the childminders will take middle school children as they're "too old". There are no holiday clubs and no holiday provision at any of the schools.

These things used to be available and a lot of them were managed or coordinated by the local children's centre, they would even get funding periodically to train people as childminders to help increase local provision (priority was given to unemployed people, especially single parents). Conservatives got rid of it all.

Neither of you are wrong here

You have 2 children; and need support. It's right that you get it

Your cousin is on a low income job and is probably feeling the squeeze of inflation. They may have important things that they are going without or be building up debt. Talking about the tax they pay may be the way they are expressing this. The deductions on their pay slip may utterly demoralising particularly if their work is stressful or includes long hours. They may spend too much time on social media seeing carefully curated snapshots of other people's lives that just makes them feel worse about themselves

You suggest that she should be cross at the government rather than people on benefits
The problem is that we are in a serious financial state as a country; and there are limited resources. This means that lower paid adults without children don't receive much support; yet cost of living and inflation remains high.

Your cousin may be feeling quite vulnerable; but is struggling to express it?

You're subsidising multiple people? How much do you subsidise them each month? Have you ever done the maths to see how much your contribution actually goes to one person on benefits? It might be a penny for all you know?

Oh definitely!

I meant it that as she is making obnoxious ill-informed comments, OP could make one back!

It benefits everyone that children are not brought up in poverty. OP's children will be paying tax to fund her obnoxious relations pension when they are older and a good life at home will help them study and achieve good qualifications and well paid work in years to come. None of us can tell when we will need some help from the state. Those who are being critical could well face redundancy, separation or divorce or ill health at some time and have to claim themselves. I have never claimed benefits myself but am pleased that the funding is there for those who need it.

Most Reform voters won't be net contributors anyway.

It is subjective, which is why designing a fair benefits system will never be met with universal approval. My litmus test is: If UC wasn't available for part timers, would you go to work ft or not? Some people definitely couldn't, many, many others would if the alternative was poverty. There is an element of personal responsibility and ethic that we all need to adhere to if we want our society to work properly. I'd rather people in genuine need received more financial support, rather than dilute it across so many.

This! Who do all these right-wing haters think is subsidising their child benefit? Or the taxes they avoid by having enough spare cash to put in an ISA?

She wants advice on how to deal with her cousin's comments.

Tell her to look at all the big companies not paying tax that her target is people like you who are doing the best they can..you at least pay tax such as VAT etc.. that they do not.

You have shown your privilege there... "well paying job".

OP has not said what her job is, but she may not be able to do full time due to also taking care of her children.

Up to 85% if I'm not mistaken.

They are very possibly unsustainable, but why do you say they’re out of control? It’s widely documented that the average benefits recipient gets barely enough to pay their living costs (often not even that).

You do realise that not everyone can do that though?

In my Band 1 NHS role, I saw a few colleagues go up the ranks, and come back down again as the pressure was not worth the tiny pay rise.

Tell her she’s entitled to her opinions but if she wants to remain a part of your life then for obvious reasons she needs to have this conversation with somebody who isn’t claiming universal credit.
It comes across to me like she’s trying to insult you, I have opinions on benefits and I also have a close friend who claims benefits. I wouldn’t therefore sit in her front room and slag of people for claiming benefits, because it’s rude and hurtful and she probably wouldn’t want to be friends with me afterwards.

It's absolutely not acceptable that minimum wage jobs should need to be topped up by benefits.

Ideally, minimum wage jobs would pay enough for families to enjoy a reasonable (not even decent) quality of life.
It would also make sense that wages kept up with the ridiculous increases in rent, the cost of living crisis and all the associated costs that are spiralling out of control.

If we could fix those - there would be no need for working people to rely on benefit top ups.

🤔

I bet according to some people, part time jobs are meant to be for anyone but mums of dependant children. Eg young people who need a job around their studies. Or someone who has retired from their career job and now just fancies a “little part time job.”
Part time jobs are seen as either something you do for leisure and some pocket money or something you fit in around other important commitments. Apart from if those commitments are your children. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Pretty sure even some full time workers still get some kind of a UC top up to boost their income if they have kids and childcare to pay in order for them to continue to work. My job is classed as part time despite working a 6 day week on one week out of every 4(my 4 weekly rota consists of a 5day week a 6day week and two 3day weeks). If I could work more hours I would but I'm a single parent to 3 school aged kids. I don't "choose" to only work part time purposely to get any benefits I work what I can around my family commitments.

I have also worked full time all the way through, with a husband in the military who was away a lot of the time. I am definitely a net contributor.

I admit that I struggle with our benefits system. On one hand, I don't want anyone to be on the bones of their arse. On the other hand, it seems that our entire system is stacked so that it isn't worth it for a lot of people to work full time. It also means that employers can get away with paying shit wages because they are topped up by the state in credits. I can understand those who are just outside of thresholds starting to feel pissed off with this.

That is amazing. Quite commendable, actually; but we don't know that OP's job offers such opportunities.

If your night job required being in office - that's another avenue not open to the OP, as childcare is not available at night and she's not allowed to leave the children unsupervised.

There are many variables that can render opportunities limited.

@Mushroodont devalue the contribution of someone who pays tax but is not a net contributor. None net contributors pay a massive amount of tax between them. The cousin is paying her fair share. Just because you earn more money doesn’t make your views and more important than hers. OP I’m sure as soon as you are in a position to find an employer who can give you full time hours you will. For now you’re bringing up two kids on your own and trying to strike this balance.