Fed up of my cousins comments about benefits and UC

Not all employers are massive companies though.

DM has a cleaning company, and most of her staff are on NMW... and she can't pay more because that is how much she gets for wages from the companies she tendering for. If that makes sense. DM is in a little bit more than NMW herself and she has to do all the admin etc too.

This. Also, no one should live to work and lose their own children’s precious childhood years to daily wrap around care just that the parents can work themselves to the ground?!!. What kind of society have we become?

Well maybe if employers were forced to pay a living wage rather than minimum they can get away with then top up benefits wouldn't be needed!

Oh, just ignore her or if you really want to, tell her she can hardly talk because she won't be a net contributor herself.

I can't work at all due to my circumstances and the judgment can be awful.

I bet the cousin has a partner thereby allowing her to work full time though?!

I say this as someone who pays a lot of tax and works full-time. I have a partner who allows me to do so. Things might be different if he ran off…

Ignore this particular poster....

Can you not pay for wrap around care? If you’re on UC you’d get a lot of this paid. So I guess it’s not true to say you don’t have a choice but to work part time. You could work full time and pay childcare but you’re choosing to work part time. Like many others on UC. I am a single parent and when mine were younger they went to wrap around, a childminder, private nursery and holiday clubs. There’s definitely options out there, so guess it can be frustrating for family.

Ignore them. They plop on any and all benefit threads.
OP is not asking about benefits... she is asking how to navigate things with her cousin.

Whats mumsnet for then?

Bloody good point!

I wonder how many people here making negative comments about UC, "working more" and "making it work" are actually single parents? Until you've been a single parent you really cannot comprehend the responsibility, mental load and exhaustion that comes with it. There's nobody else.

I'm a single parent. Left my children's dad due to serial cheating and abusive behaviour. He rarely has his kids and when he does it's not reliable. He quit his job, so there's no maintenance for me.
I have no family to help me. It's literally just me. I work 25 hours a week, on a decent hourly rate, but receive a UC top up. We literally wouldn't survive without it. I've explored so many ways to enable me to work more hours, but it's just not viable for me right now. I wish I could, I'd love to.
My choice right now is to work 25 hours and claim UC or work more hours and leave my 7 and 5 year olds home alone while I go to work. In an ideal world everyone would be working and earning enough to support their families and an few years ago I could too. However the cost of living has rocketed and I just cant anymore 😢. I'm sure there are lots of people out there who do take the mick out of the benefit system, but there are genuine people out there with good reasons not to be working more. It's not as easy as just get more hours or a better paid job!

Also if anyone has any ideas of how I can work more hours in my circumstances then please let me know.

Or, if you have a magic way of getting their dad to step up and be a dad or a way in which to get him to work so he can pay towards his children's upbringing then please let me know too.

Anyone on UC get 85% of their childcare costs back so there isn’t really an excuse for able bodied people to not work or only work part time when they get 85% of childcare costs back. Obviously there’s a maximum amount that can be paid but it’s more money than what people who aren’t entitled to benefits would get.

I think they may mean that a lot of people on MN feel the same as your cousin so you may get some harsh responses. I hope not though.

Many of us are behind you. We all pay taxes and this is one of the reasons: to help people who need it. If we can't do that we are not the first world country that we see ourselves as being. None of us knows when we might need that help.

If you do get horrible responses on here, just ignore them and hold your head high - as you should do with your cousin. Try to avoid her.

Ok and what are you going to do when all the nursery nurses leave your child's nursery to get a higher paying job? Or all the retail workers leave the shops? Some jobs are absolutely necessary for society to run smoothly but the pay is absolute crap. If someone works full time on minimum wage they only earn £23k per year.

Yeah we could all come up with excuses of being mentally drained. I'm fucking knackered but it counts for nothing

mumsnet is just a horrible place when it comes to benefits. OP you can't

The welfare state is there to support women like the OP who needs a top up in order to pay her rent and her bills and in ORDER TO FEED HER CHILD. (so for the 72 year old poster up the thread - you live in this country and pay towards the welfare state for this reason - and its something to be proud of that we (in theory anyway) do look after our most vulnerable citizens in this way).

She can't just work full time because for most people the costs of childcare more than wipe out any increase in salary and then some. Plus as a single mum she's juggling all of the family stuff, parenting and everything else. And of course she'd need to find this magical job that enables her to stop claiming benefits, a place to rent that is affordable and childcare that doesn't cost the earth and exists for 52 weeks a year.

And yes, it is abhorrent that fathers don't pay, but that's not relevant here - he doesn't pay and the OP and her child need to afford to live.

Not everyone is interested in a career though?

I pay £1600 a month in tax and I couldn’t give a fuck about people claiming UC if they’re entitled to it.
Personally, I think the main issue is ridiculously expensive housing. That’s what makes life so unaffordable for people.

ETA: and also the prohibitive cost of childcare!

This x 100000

People moan about tax but there are relatively few net contributors. Each child you have, for example, costs the taxpayer £8000 in schooling.

I say this as one of the net contributors too.

According to these figures, if your cousin is paying 400 in tax and NI, then her contribution towards people on UC, including disability benefits, will be a staggering £2.20 per month. You could maybe offer to reimburse her your share of that which would be a fraction of a penny.

If anyone else is feeling disgruntled about UC claimants and would like me to work out their tax contribution towards 'subsidising their living costs' to make them feel a bit better about the situation, I would be happy to do so :)

Yep.

OP works PT and looks after her kids, and gets UC. Or she works full time, and UC pays for her kid's childcare.
Both end up costing anyway.
I think it better kids are looked after by their parents.

Choose to? Some people don’t have a choice, you know that, right?

It's not really 'choosing' to work part time if her partner has fucked off and left - who is going to look after her children while she works full time?

Childcare often works out as more than what you earn if you aren't well paid.

OP IS WORKING

The UK's benefits system is totally unfair. She was just pointing this out and I agree with her. Don't take it personally though. When you're able get back into work and start contributing yourself. Surely you don't want to live on hand-outs forever....