Friend upset because of a comment I made about renting

@RealOliveTraybake Not necessarily their choices though? Just one example... a woman becomes a single parent through absolutely no fault of her own (say her husband cheats), she has to start over again. Or are you suggesting she stays in order to avoid ever having to rent? Just one scenario of many.

Absolutely, but their choices got them to where they are in the present day

@RealOliveTraybake But surely you can accept for some people, in different circumstances to yourself, getting a mortgage simply isn't possible for many different reasons? Life isn't always linear.

I'm 25, bought my first home last year in Scotland. Average job with average salary, saved £40k deposit in the first 3 years of real work with £15k saved from previous work while at uni. Bought well within my budget with only a pretty long 14 year mortgage.

You have to be willing to buy in a slightly cheaper area than you probably want, and live slightly further away from work, but it's doable for people with normal jobs who aren't on minimum wage.

@RealOliveTraybake We're long-term renters. I'd love to hear your advice regarding getting on the property ladder 😀

Not unreasonable at all. People renting need to understand that it's essentially lighting money on fire at a much higher rate than a mortgage where you're just burning the interest.

I don’t think OP said anything harmful.

Ultimately, the decision to rent or buy depends on personal preferences and financial circumstances. The same principle applies to private pensions.

There will always be a safety net for some pensioners. I expect the state pension will eventually be means-tested.

Who knows what will happen. That’s why I have a pension.

The upkeep of a house doesn't come close to £1,200 a month. And that is cheap rent around my way.

There will have to be something, or they’re going to have to bring back debtor’s prison or the workhouse. The very elderly won’t be able to continue working; there will always come a point when they can’t continue to work. If there is no pension or support then they’ll have to do something. Or we’ll have homeless pensioners dying in the street.

It needs a proper conversation, and for the Government to actually sit down and plan decades ahead to ensure something stands. If they’re going to remove pensions, it needs to be done for people being born at the time of the announcement, so they know about it from that’s start and plan their life around it.

I wouldn’t count on being subsidised in your old age. We have an aging population and decreasing birth rates, by the time you retire you’ll be lucky if the state pension even exists.
You need to look at paying into something especially if your employer adds a contribution.
Paying off a mortgage is one bill, what about all the others? And your friend may have the rent to pay but she won’t have the expense of paying to upkeep a house or replacing a boiler for example.

There’s no guarantee that the state pension will be available by then anyway. If OP still has 20-30 years until her mortgage is paid off she obviously has a considerable time until retirement. We have an aging population and birth rates are actually coming down. There won’t be enough younger working people to fund everything that older people feel they are entitled to such as free care, heating allowances and a state pension. If that happens OP won’t even be able to afford her beans on toast. Paying off a mortgage doesn’t solve all your problems. You don’t have that bill but what about all the others … how is she going to afford them with no income?!?!

Well yes - a change of circumstances causes their period of renting to end

That isn't the rent coming to an end. That is the renter's circumstances changing.

Bloody hell if they got offended by that then they’ll get offended by anything. Apologies for what simply stating a fact. What is wrong with these people

Not completely true - lots of rents come to an end

People move in together
They get a better job
They inherit
They move to a cheaper area

It’s not an absolute fact

It’s pretty automatic now to be honest. You get used to thinking whilst listening

I’m also a bit of a bugger for interrupting, so this has helped with that too

If it’s a fast conversation I just think ‘if I say this next think will it make things better or worse’

Some people prefer to have savings. I know of 3 men who dropped dead before they received their pensions.

Anybody that Is likely to live to over 70 is nuts to not pay into a pension. Literally nuts. Some people are forced to rent. They don't have options. You are both foolish and insensitive.

Not judgy at all. It's a fact that rent doesn't come to an end.
I'd be crapping myself if I were in rented and approaching retirement. I'm sure it's a genuine concern many people in this position have.

She's obviously tetchy about it and projecting that on to you.

I own my own home but it took me until turning 40 to be able to do. Raised children whilst working and studying and saving every scrap of money i could to put towards a deposit. Eventually managed it and know by retirement possibly earlier it will be totally mine. I also pay into pension so that i will be able to fund myself when no longer working.

If you can save enough to fund your own living expenses then that’s ok if you just spending today to let the next generation pay for you that’s not fair.

When i was stuck renting it stung when other people announced buying a property and made comments about not being stuck renting and most was because they had a partner with decent income or inheritance from a family member. You can’t help but feel jealous and demoralised when you doing all you can and feel getting no where and feel so alone. But i would feel that myself or just rant to my mum i didnt want to be unkind to anyone else or appear bitter. I have a friend at moment who really wants to own her own place but her health meant she has had to greatly reduce working hours and she never saved when she was working so now she’s bitter about things but just tell her apply for social housing, buy a lottery ticket, keep trying to save etc just listen to your friend and be understanding don’t make them feel like trapped and a failure for renting.

I mean you do know just because your mortgage eventually ends your also in charge of paying for new boilers,roof repairs,gutters,windows, maintenance, insurances etc etc etc the list goes on so you will be very lucky not to actually end up spending more than a rental where everything is covered

I can only comment for myself, but yes I would feel like it was a bit of judgy comment. My husband and I are 44 and 49 and, despite both working, are long-term private renters. We didn't meet until later on in life, both previously married, and have three children between us so circumstances mean we're not in a position to be able to get a big enough mortgage to meet our needs.
We both work in caring professions which are not well-paid but both love what we do and feel a lot of reward for working with some of the most vulnerable in society.
I hope people would judge us on that rather than the fact we don't own our own home.

The retirement age will probably have gone up to 85 by the time you've paid it off, so you'll be okay.