Things my husband asked me today (light hearted)

A radio show this morning had a segment on why more young men, rather than young women, tend to stay living at home with parents.
I felt a bit mean by going almost immediately to the generalisation that men are inherently lazy and will choose the path of least difficulty. Why would they move out of a comfortable, cosseted space where meals are cooked, clean laundry appears, living costs are minimal, etc, etc.
Dare I say it... A bit pathetic and ick-inducing.

(This is absolutely notttt intended to castigate everyone who continues to live at home for whatever reason, but dammit... Maintain some self-sufficience, independence and respect)

😂😂😂😂 Brilliant.

One from many moons ago…an ex-P and at the airport
“Did you pack my passport?”
With the benefit of hindsight I really wished I hadn’t…

After my mother died and we were clearing out the house, my brothers, both divorced and who had been living in her house for years, asked me, where the electric meter was. It was in the cupboard where the coats were stored and also the vacuum cleaner.

Ex, where is this, where is that

Me, in the house/shed/garden 😄

Oh god, my ex husband was like this.
I was on an early shift one Saturday and l asked him to go and pay the gas bill (long time before internet banking) "They close at 12 on Saturdays, so you'll need to go before that."
"Yes, yes! I'm not stupid!"
I got home from work at half past four. He's got his coat on and he's clutching an envelope that looks suspiciously familiar.
"Did you pay the gas bill?"
"I'm going now!"
"They shut at twelve. If they'd been open now, l'd have gone."
"I didn't know...."
FFS.... not just one occasion, either. Things like this happened over and over, and not just the gas bill.
After we'd split up he came to my house to collect the dog (she lived with me but he had her sometimes).
"I'll have to go and top my electric up, l got home and everything's off, the credit's run out...."
Might have been a good idea to do that before he came to my house, then.
God knows how many hours it had been off. Just clueless.
And l'd been accused of being 'controlling'. If l'd left things to him, we'd likely have been out on the street.

Tape measures are commonly are 150 cm long. One side is in cm - he may not know how many cm there are in a metre.

That's correct for a dress makers tape measure but they also come in many other different lengths. My metal retractable DIY tape measure is 10 metres long with cm and inches marked on opposite edges of the same face of the tape measure. Feet and metres are also marked.

Has his mother made a power of attorney. How he should use dental floss. Why the bread was mouldy.

Mine does it with his work shirts. If this ironed yet? Well if you can’t tell go iron it.

What’s for dinner, check the menu I’ve already made

What do you need from the shops? Me nothing but the children want

whats that song I like?? Me just 😶 not a bloody clue mate.

DH had a hissy fit and decided he was going in to the local small city on the bus on his own.
So far I've had, what time is my bus? What time is my bus back? Which stop do I catch it from? Where will it stop when I get back?.

Is this mango ripe? He is stood within reach of the mango. I am in another room and cant even see it.

A range of questions that can be googled- e.g. what time does B and Q close. Then he'll say that's not right or say I am being difficult of I say I don't know.

I strongly believe it is attention seeking in a weird way. Anything food related, I just say of you can't see it you can't have it. Amazing how it suddenly materialises

I've taken to say I am not your brain please stop trying to use mine instead of yours.

Tape measures are commonly are 150 cm long. One side is in cm - he may not know how many cm there are in a metre.

Or, he may have only looked at the other side which was marked in inches.

I blame his Maths teacher. 😉

I have a plastic box which came full of useful sewing things - elastic, thread and so on.
The tape measure is marked on one side in metric units, going up to 150cm. The other side is labelled in 'inches' for the same length, with evenly spaced divisions going up to 45 inches.

(150 cm is about 1cm less than 60 inches)

Can't help it🥰🤣

My husband has done exactly this, while talking to me on his phone!!

I think it was the combination of the rough capable hands that gave me a little shiver 😜

Stop bragging 😂😂😂💗

As Sabrina carpenter once said
‘’stupid, or is it slow? Maybe it’s useless? But there’s a cuter word for it, I know.. man child’ !!!

describes your Dh perfectly

One of the perks of marrying a builder. Nothing ever gets left around the house 😍

To be fair to men, I've done the phone thing too. I was on the phone to my friend, needed my phone to look something up and was panicking to her (over the PHONE) about not being able to find my phone. She said absolutely nothing, she was probably wondering what the hell I was talking about.

My DH can wash clothes, that wasn't the problem 🙄

Mine are very rough so I can’t feel a great deal, however my face, arms, neck, legs and eyes aren’t rough, so it has had zero impact on my ability to wash clothes.

It drove me insane. In the end I snapped. I stopped answering calls, WhatsApps and other forms of messaging and complaints of being ignored/ left on read were met with the single message that I was at work, same as him and I do not exist as a human house appliance / computer/ calendar / search engine. Thought the message was loud and clear and all stopped for a while.
Then daughter came home from uni for the summer. The other day she came into my office (I WFH) and asked why her dad was texting her and asking her all these questions and to do all this stuff for him. I hit the roof…my daughter has now learned she will never be dealing with weaponised incompetence from anyone!!!

I will!! Good idea, thank you.

Have you seen my pen? - it was on the kitchen table

what time do I need to leave for my meeting - he goes every week starts at the same time every week. Said he was confused cos the kids were off school and he normally times his journey around the school run.

can DS1 make football training? he’s 9 your taking him so I guess that’s up to you!!

I could also hear him asking the kids who the tshirt was on the clothes airer despite there being a 5 year age gap and them obviously being completely different sizes 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Ooohhhh, I just had a hot flush at that 😍

I had a funny one when I first met DH because he asked me to write down some tasks I wanted his help with, and when I did he shrugged and said "I can't read your writing."

I was so used to lazy arseholes who found any excuse not to lift a finger that this sent me into a spin, until I realised he meant it literally 😳😂 I don't think decades of keyboard work have done my handwriting any favours!

As soon as I printed it clearly, he was off like a shot to get things done 🤩