Things my husband asked me today (light hearted)

Asked me if the dishwasher was empty, as he stood beside said dishwasher and I was sitting on the sofa in a different room.

I could also hear him asking the kids who the tshirt was on the clothes airer despite there being a 5 year age gap and them obviously being completely different sizes

Long time ago, my Dad came home from work complaining bitterly about how uncomfortable his Y-Fronts were. On investigation, it transpired he'd actually been wearing my 8 year old brother's Y-Fronts all day!

The very small Y-Fronts had inadvertently got put away in my Dad's underwear drawer, so he'd just painfully inserted himself into them. He never once clocked that they were a quarter of the size of his usual underwear.

Well OP, mine weren't questions, but the day before yesterday, during something I was trying to watch, I got unnecessarily read to -

1. The diet sheet his doctor gave him (he then said it would be nice to know what foods were good or not, as it just gave vague stuff. I said have a look on your phone, it's never out of your hand anyway!)
2. The whole of the internet on foods that are good for his heart, cholesterol etc.
3. The entire Hairy Dieters Cookery book, which has been gathering dust on the bookcase since I bought it. Tell a lie, I've done two recipes!
4. The whole of the tv guide for the evening, every single bloody channel! Even when I kept saying it's ok, I'll have a look on my phone app.
5. The instructions for a solar charger he's bought. Then he asked me how I thought it should work as he didn't know if he was using it right.

I'm thinking of setting up a Go Fund Me to buy an island and then offering places to MNetters who have PITA other halves! Who's in?!

WTF.

Recently, every time I ask DH a question he automatically responds with 'Sorry?' and a quizzical expression. He has definitely heard me because if I wait silently for a second or two grinding my teeth in rage he actually answers my question.

For the love of God, why?

My husband video calls from the supermarket to get me to guide him to different sections like a game of knightmare. Two steps left, down, down, grab! It’s ridiculous. He’s been going to the same supermarket for nearly a decade.

Back in the days before satnavs, there were many umpteen tales about men who were told by their map-reading wives to turn left here (well in advance), didn't turn left for some reason and then went on driving at speed along the wrong road. Likewise the idea of stopping and asking for directions once they had managed to get thoroughly lost was clearly out of the range of "possible". Having got lost through not following directions was of course the map-reading wife's fault.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Love the American female comedian who, in her show, always asks 'whose husband/partner has text /called them' since they left the house to go to her show!

Some of the answers are hilarious!/maddening

The milk thing is crazy.

Oh god, the ‘Can’t find in the supermarket’ texts. Why can’t they just ask, I don’t know; someone who works there? It’s like asking for directions. Must be a man thing.

Suggest he volunteers somewhere. Cadets? Scouts? Surely they need some help for camps this summer...

Anyone else know the "Lighthouse Look" which is what we called my second sons attempt at looking for anything.

So he would stand up, do a 360 and if the thing he was looking for wasnt in his eye line then it couldnt be found. And the gods forbid that something might have to be moved, a drawer have to be opened or an effort made!

Hahaha, my DH is like this too. He calls me The Oracle 😩

It's ages ago now but, every Tuesday evening, DH would arrive home from work and ask me where DS was. Every single time.

He's at Cubs/Scouts/Explorers, where he's been going every Tuesday evening for the past eight years.

We fell out the other day as my daughter was baking biscuits and he was supervising whilst I was working from home. He shouted to me what temp should the oven go on… I snapped back as was rudely interrupted from my work ‘I don’t know every bloody recipe… you’ve got the book right in front of you’ then he couldn’t find the actual oven temp so I still had to end up sorting it out 😤 cue WW3 😆

I don’t know - I taught in a secondary school, and retired a few years ago.

My y7 classes didn’t know it reliably before we covered it. I couldn’t comment on whether they remembered it ten years after that. 😃

This is stuff they learn when they are about 7yrs old?

Yeah I think boredom is at the heart of this. He is finding any excuse to talk to you (which is kind of sweet I suppose, better you than another woman!) to give himself something to do.

I suspect if he was working in a more traditional 9-5 job this wouldnt be happening.

Has your dynamic always been....you cope alone when he is away and you miss each other. He comes home and totally fucks up your carefully arranged life and acts like a lost puppy wanting your attention all the time?

‘Have you moved my………I know I left it ….and now it’s gone?’ used to be a constant refrain around here until he finally twigged that he’s both absent minded and untidy and the likelihood is that he’d left it somewhere else and forgotten. It took years for him to
properly understand that it really was him though.

He knows better than to even ask now, we just have a tongue-in-cheek ‘Someone’s stolen my …again!’ whilst he goes hunting around the house.

A quick cure for ‘ can you help me find my…?’ after what was clearly a half-arsed attempt turned out to be:
‘Where have you already looked?’
‘Er in the airing cupboard/my drawers/the ironing basket/whatever’
‘Ok well we won’t need to look there then will we if you’ve already looked.’
‘Erm, I’ll just go back and double-check…’

He has a mum who used to scuttle around after him smoothing the way and we married young so it took a bit of training but it’s all good now.

I did not scuttle around after DS (or DD for that matter) and he left home in the full understanding that a woman is not there to think for him and tidy up after him! DIL is very thankful!

Oh you'll love this one then...
OH- shall we have steak for dinner
Me- well that would be lovely. Ok Ill take the dog home and you can go to the supermarket
OH- good idea, do you want anything?
Me- no, I am good
1 hour later, I come downstairs can smell food. He is serving up, for one person.
Me- where is mi e?
OH- you said you didnt want anything
Apparently I have to specify he should make dinner for two people. Honestly the mind boggles

Don’t be so uptight! It’s funny

It’s not remotely funny. This isn’t just someone having a daft moment and minimal common sense. It’s someone who has proved themselves to be a fully functioning adult, using another adult to do all of their thinking for them because they can’t be bothered to listen to their wife. It’s demeaning.