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Things my husband asked me today (light hearted)

286 replies

ButtSurgery · 24/07/2025 12:31

So far today:

Sent him to Lidl with a small shopping list. Phoned to ask whether cottage cheese is the same thing as sour cream and if not, where is it in the shop.

Phoned again to ask how big is 2 pints of milk and is that different from 2 litres of milk.

Phoned later from the local garage to ask if I wanted a new tyre on the car as it has a nail through it and a slow puncture. He is at the garage for an appointment to get the front tyres checked and replaced if needed anyway as they were around the legal minimum.

Phoned again to tell me his work have bounced his expenses because he needs to send them to another email address. What is the email address he needs to contact? (note we work for wholly unrelated employers).

What time is the dog walker coming? Does he need to be here to hand her over or does the dog walker come in with a key and pick her up? (note we have had the walker for months and he knows the drill is to hand the dog over!)

What time am I finishing work? SAME TIME I FINISHED EVERY BLOODY DAY.

Oh there's more but they are the stand out ones. He needs to fuck off back to sea.

OP posts:
WhereIsMyJumper · 24/07/2025 12:53

He is outsourcing his thinking to you. I doubt he is thick, just lazy. Stop answering your phone.

MummyDummyNow · 24/07/2025 12:53

Is he Neurodivergent?

Devilsmommy · 24/07/2025 12:52

BoredZelda · 24/07/2025 12:47

Lighthearted would be when my husband asked me if I had seen his sunglasses - he was wearing them.

If this is what he does to you in one day, how on earth does he manage to function in a job, out in the world?

I've had this, where are my glasses? On your head you dozy twat😂 and the where did I put x, how the fuck am I supposed to know? I usually do know but that's not the point 🤣

RaininSummer · 24/07/2025 12:50

He does sound pretty helpless.

BoredZelda · 24/07/2025 12:47

Lighthearted would be when my husband asked me if I had seen his sunglasses - he was wearing them.

If this is what he does to you in one day, how on earth does he manage to function in a job, out in the world?

FluffykinsTheFerociousFeralFelineFury · 24/07/2025 12:43

How does he manage to hold down a job?

Perhapsanothertime · 24/07/2025 12:43

I couldn’t be with someone this inept and useless, sorry OP 😕

Any adult that doesn’t know the difference between sour cream and cottage cheese is off my dating list 🤣

Fragmentedbrain · 24/07/2025 12:42

Assuming he hasn't always been like this (since you married him etc) maybe he should see a doctor?

TaborlinTheGreat · 24/07/2025 12:41

He sounds utterly thick and useless frankly, OP. How can any adult not know that 2 pints are not the same as 2 litres?!

seashaken · 24/07/2025 12:36

"When's my dentist appointment?"

He said this standing about a foot away from the wall calendar, admittedly with his back to it. But all he had to do was turn round. Unlike me, who would've had to stop what I was doing and walk across the room to check.

FrenchandSaunders · 24/07/2025 12:33

oh blimey OP that would drive me mad.

I work a 4 day week, I have two afternoons a week off, the same ones every week .... I have done this for over a decade, but DH still asks me what days I'm working/off.