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Things my husband asked me today (light hearted)

286 replies

ButtSurgery · 24/07/2025 12:31

So far today:

Sent him to Lidl with a small shopping list. Phoned to ask whether cottage cheese is the same thing as sour cream and if not, where is it in the shop.

Phoned again to ask how big is 2 pints of milk and is that different from 2 litres of milk.

Phoned later from the local garage to ask if I wanted a new tyre on the car as it has a nail through it and a slow puncture. He is at the garage for an appointment to get the front tyres checked and replaced if needed anyway as they were around the legal minimum.

Phoned again to tell me his work have bounced his expenses because he needs to send them to another email address. What is the email address he needs to contact? (note we work for wholly unrelated employers).

What time is the dog walker coming? Does he need to be here to hand her over or does the dog walker come in with a key and pick her up? (note we have had the walker for months and he knows the drill is to hand the dog over!)

What time am I finishing work? SAME TIME I FINISHED EVERY BLOODY DAY.

Oh there's more but they are the stand out ones. He needs to fuck off back to sea.

OP posts:
mumonthehill · 24/07/2025 13:17

Dh popped his head round the door but I was in a meeting so when I checked what he wanted it was to ask me if I wanted the washing hung out. Well yes obviously if the machine has finished.

PistachioTiramisu · 24/07/2025 13:16

Mine is similar. If I ever ask him to get a couple of things from the shop, he ALWAYS phones me to ask a question about the items. I even tell him whereabouts they are in the shop to make it easier! He is the same with bins - every single week he asks which ones are to go out, even though I resorted to putting it in his calendar so he didn't have to ask. He always seems surprised that the food bin goes out every week, and pleads 'I didn't know' when I tell him that! Aaargh!

Trickedbyadoughnut · 24/07/2025 13:16

Yeah, the weaponised incompetence wouldn't be making me feel anything light-hearted!

And for the PP who said about how they manage if they didn't have a wife to look after them - firstly, they are totally capable of managing all this themselves, they just prefer not to and, secondly, they usually find a swift replacement to look after them and their man-baby ways.

Yes, this gives me rage, as you can probably tell 😅

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 24/07/2025 13:16

My answer to most questions these days is "have you looked in the garage?" Get far fewer as a result.

NoisyLemonDog · 24/07/2025 13:14

I don't know
I can't remember
Have you checked the calendar?
Did you check the email/WhatsApp?
I'm not your Google
Please stop using my brain space instead of your own

My family drives me mad with this. All of the above work well.

Bimblebombles · 24/07/2025 13:13

Are these clothes dry? (Whilst standing next to the drying rack). Let me stop what I'm doing, get up and walk over and feel the clothes and tell you whether they are or not. fucking hell

SpicyMarge98 · 24/07/2025 13:11

Yabu to say lighthearted id get the RAGE. My dh calls me every time he's at a supermarket even dc started to comment on this!!

As sabrina carpenter said... stupid...or is it...slow...man-child...

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 24/07/2025 13:10

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 24/07/2025 12:59

Op shall I presume you live in Scotland and your dh is 17 ???

or even 16 and still wet behind the ears!!

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 24/07/2025 13:03

@ButtSurgery I really fear for my dh sometimes! how the hell will he cope when I am not around? he phoned me up one day to ask where the electric meter was because the man was here to read it. he walks past it at least twice a day, usually a lot more. It is at the back door. we have only lived in the house for 30years!!! keep trying to show him how to empty the dryer water collector tank. where to put the detergent into the washer. how to work the washer. the list goes on and on and on.......... it looks like they are all the same!!

NoweverytimeIgoforthemailbox · 24/07/2025 13:03

My husband pulls this shit. I’ve just started replying ‘I dunno’ or ‘check the email’ and the stupid questions have mostly stopped.

thedarknessinyoursoul · 24/07/2025 13:03

my DH writes out a shopping list and then rings me at the shop to ask what it says as he cannot read his writing! Do I look fucking psychic?🙄

MaMisled · 24/07/2025 12:59

Are these raspberries or strawberries in the fridge?

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 24/07/2025 12:59

Op shall I presume you live in Scotland and your dh is 17 ???

MummyDummyNow · 24/07/2025 12:58

@WhereIsMyJumper I only asked as I can’t possibly imagine a neurotypical adult (or child for that matter) asking these absolutely absurd questions.

FOJN · 24/07/2025 12:57

Light-hearted? I guess if you didn't laugh you'd cry. Your husband is incompetent. There is nothing funny about his incompetence but he's not motivated to be a more functional adult because you indulge him.

Orangemintcream · 24/07/2025 12:57

The only answer is “I don’t know you’ll have to work it out”.

If he brings back the wrong item he has to eat it.

SilverHammer · 24/07/2025 12:57

Glad it is not just my husband. Do they actually listen?

WonsWoo · 24/07/2025 12:56

My DH is not generally like this but he has this specific thing where he will ask me something that I can't possibly know. We arrived in the house from holiday last Saturday, we'd been in the door all of 5 minutes and he asked me why DS's work uniform was on the kitchen table.

I think in his case he's thinking out loud rather than actually expecting me to know. I just don't answer.

user7638490 · 24/07/2025 12:56

From mine yesterday. “What time will teen dc wake up?” 🙄

TeeBee · 24/07/2025 12:56

Oh God, I would have screamed at him. Just keep answering 'dunno' to everything until he decides to use his own brain rather than yours. I'd find that pretty insulting to be honest.

JHound · 24/07/2025 12:56

This would lead me to violence

Karatema · 24/07/2025 12:55

I overheard a man talking, on his phone, to his, presumably, DP (on public transport and he was loud!) when he suddenly stopped talking - he then said “oh, shit! I’ve lost my phone”. A few seconds later, laughter! I’m assuming his DP had pointed out he was talking on it 🙄

2024onwardsandup · 24/07/2025 12:55

Does he do this at work?

WhereIsMyJumper · 24/07/2025 12:55

I am (very) happily single so I don’t need to deal with this at home but I get it from work colleagues all the time. And yes, it is mostly men, and my approach is for these specific repeat offenders to always ignore the first request and guess how many times they manage to figure it out all on their own?

WhereIsMyJumper · 24/07/2025 12:54

MummyDummyNow · 24/07/2025 12:53

Is he Neurodivergent?

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