Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Things my husband asked me today (light hearted)

286 replies

ButtSurgery · 24/07/2025 12:31

So far today:

Sent him to Lidl with a small shopping list. Phoned to ask whether cottage cheese is the same thing as sour cream and if not, where is it in the shop.

Phoned again to ask how big is 2 pints of milk and is that different from 2 litres of milk.

Phoned later from the local garage to ask if I wanted a new tyre on the car as it has a nail through it and a slow puncture. He is at the garage for an appointment to get the front tyres checked and replaced if needed anyway as they were around the legal minimum.

Phoned again to tell me his work have bounced his expenses because he needs to send them to another email address. What is the email address he needs to contact? (note we work for wholly unrelated employers).

What time is the dog walker coming? Does he need to be here to hand her over or does the dog walker come in with a key and pick her up? (note we have had the walker for months and he knows the drill is to hand the dog over!)

What time am I finishing work? SAME TIME I FINISHED EVERY BLOODY DAY.

Oh there's more but they are the stand out ones. He needs to fuck off back to sea.

OP posts:
MyDeftDuck · 24/07/2025 13:59

And I bet he opens a cupboard and can’t find anything because it’s not directly in front of his face!

Whatafustercluck · 24/07/2025 13:58

Devilsmommy · 24/07/2025 12:52

I've had this, where are my glasses? On your head you dozy twat😂 and the where did I put x, how the fuck am I supposed to know? I usually do know but that's not the point 🤣

I am that dozy twat. 😳

outerspacepotato · 24/07/2025 13:55

That would annoy the fuck out of me, but I like my men competent.

MyHonestFaves · 24/07/2025 13:54

Sounds like you’ve got a full-grown toddler on your hands 😂 Honestly impressive how many questions one man can fit into a single day.

CalishataFolkart · 24/07/2025 13:52

ButtSurgery · 24/07/2025 13:19

Christ, mine does this too. He can't tell apparently 🙄

Man works at sea and can’t tell the difference between wet and dry?

fantastic

ButtSurgery · 24/07/2025 13:50

Christ on a bike, if I hadn't put lighthearted, someone would have popped up with the likes of:

"my husband asked me to divorce him so he can keep the house and marry my mum" or "my husband batters me and asks me if I enjoy it when he drives me to the hospital where he makes me say I fell down the stairs".....

He's a needy twat today, no idea why. Boredom I suspect.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 24/07/2025 13:39

I like a joke as much as the next woman but non of these would raise even a titter. Horrible behaviour.

pikkumyy77 · 24/07/2025 13:37

Devilsmommy · 24/07/2025 13:34

It was more if it was still slightly damp versus dry not soaking wet

He can touch it to his lip? Thats what I do if Zi can’t tell.

DaisyChain505 · 24/07/2025 13:35

YABU for being married to such an incompetent manchild.

Devilsmommy · 24/07/2025 13:34

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 24/07/2025 13:32

How does he tell if fabric is wet or dry? Leave it for a woman, or has he figured out some other way?

It was more if it was still slightly damp versus dry not soaking wet

StillweriseLH · 24/07/2025 13:33

If my husband asked me that lot, I’d have a police officer at my door asking me this lot:

do you understand your rights?
was it pre meditated?
do you have anything sharp in your pockets?

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 24/07/2025 13:32

Devilsmommy · 24/07/2025 13:29

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. My DH was a builder for 30 years and his hands are so rough that he can't always feel differences that you or I would. Obviously that's just one example but I'm sure there are others🤷

How does he tell if fabric is wet or dry? Leave it for a woman, or has he figured out some other way?

Devilsmommy · 24/07/2025 13:29

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 24/07/2025 13:23

He should see a doctor then. Losing sensation in his fingers to the point he can't tell if something is wet or dry is worrying.
Not being able to function to perform basic tasks in a supermarket that an actual toddler can do would also warrant medical investigation.

Or is he just a bog standard slovenly misogynist?

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. My DH was a builder for 30 years and his hands are so rough that he can't always feel differences that you or I would. Obviously that's just one example but I'm sure there are others🤷

mumonthehill · 24/07/2025 13:26

@Devilsmommy to be fair to him he is normally very lovely and helpful, he more than does his share, I was just a bit annoyed that he thought he needed to ask as it would not have crossed my mind to ask him!!!

chatgptsbestmate · 24/07/2025 13:26

5128gap · 24/07/2025 13:22

I know you're framing this as light hearted. But honestly this isn't funny. If your H genuinely needed to ask you those questions, then in your shoes I'd be worrying about his cognitive abilities. If he is fine and well, then he's either bone idle, pretending to be incompetent as a passive aggressive gesture, or is unhealthily dependent on you.

None of these are things to be brushed off with an eye roll and 'Men, what are they like?' attitude, unless you think it will be amusing to have to oversee and caretake him for the rest of your life. Which if you're ever struggling to balance your job, your own health, care for others, it really won't be.

I agree. I love a good chuckle, but none of this is funny.

The man is either thick, getting dementia, needy or all 3. He's most definitely very annoying. Imagine what he'll be like when he retires 🫨

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 24/07/2025 13:25

Ok. Didn't sound like he functions equally from your other posts on your thread.

ButtSurgery · 24/07/2025 13:25

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 24/07/2025 13:23

He should see a doctor then. Losing sensation in his fingers to the point he can't tell if something is wet or dry is worrying.
Not being able to function to perform basic tasks in a supermarket that an actual toddler can do would also warrant medical investigation.

Or is he just a bog standard slovenly misogynist?

Highly clean and tidy functioning human actually. Very much 50/50 in terms of the home, cleaning etc. No pink or blue jobs in this house, we both just do whatever needs done. Except tipping anything mouldy out - I get him to do that. But I open my own jars.

OP posts:
iamnotalemon · 24/07/2025 13:24

I know you say this is light hearted but this would drive me mad. It’s like having a bloody child.

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 24/07/2025 13:23

ButtSurgery · 24/07/2025 13:19

Christ, mine does this too. He can't tell apparently 🙄

He should see a doctor then. Losing sensation in his fingers to the point he can't tell if something is wet or dry is worrying.
Not being able to function to perform basic tasks in a supermarket that an actual toddler can do would also warrant medical investigation.

Or is he just a bog standard slovenly misogynist?

ButtSurgery · 24/07/2025 13:22

Yes, he usually is this irritating.
Yes, it's deeply deeply unattractive.
No, it wasn't always this bad.

I don't know if he does it at work. He recently retired from the Navy after 25 years, leaving as a PO - so a reasonable decision making and managerial level. They even gave him firearms and put him in charge of others with firearms FFS. I did ask why no one had asked me for my opinion on the risks of this decision.

He has a new job at sea, but no ship at present so is driving me batty at home. I WFH full time and have done for years. He is very bored.

OP posts:
5128gap · 24/07/2025 13:22

I know you're framing this as light hearted. But honestly this isn't funny. If your H genuinely needed to ask you those questions, then in your shoes I'd be worrying about his cognitive abilities. If he is fine and well, then he's either bone idle, pretending to be incompetent as a passive aggressive gesture, or is unhealthily dependent on you.

None of these are things to be brushed off with an eye roll and 'Men, what are they like?' attitude, unless you think it will be amusing to have to oversee and caretake him for the rest of your life. Which if you're ever struggling to balance your job, your own health, care for others, it really won't be.

Devilsmommy · 24/07/2025 13:19

mumonthehill · 24/07/2025 13:17

Dh popped his head round the door but I was in a meeting so when I checked what he wanted it was to ask me if I wanted the washing hung out. Well yes obviously if the machine has finished.

Fucking hell with the kind of men you read about on here I'm surprised one was willing to hang out the washing 🤣

ButtSurgery · 24/07/2025 13:19

Bimblebombles · 24/07/2025 13:13

Are these clothes dry? (Whilst standing next to the drying rack). Let me stop what I'm doing, get up and walk over and feel the clothes and tell you whether they are or not. fucking hell

Christ, mine does this too. He can't tell apparently 🙄

OP posts:
Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 24/07/2025 13:17

Bimblebombles · 24/07/2025 13:13

Are these clothes dry? (Whilst standing next to the drying rack). Let me stop what I'm doing, get up and walk over and feel the clothes and tell you whether they are or not. fucking hell

😆😆😆
Also, your username 😂🩷

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 24/07/2025 13:17

I don't see how anyone could find such pathetic refusal to function attractive. Dumping the drudgery on the human domestic appliance (woman) is an act of contempt.

Such men should be left single, What's the point of them?