Things my husband asked me today (light hearted)

None of that is lighthearted. You’re not his partner, you’re his dogsbody.

I'd have zero tolerance for the questions you're being asked. Even my 5yo knows that if she asks what's for dinner more than twice, I'll stop answering.

Amazingly, most men manage to do all this stuff when they live alone. Therefore it's either deliberate, or they've just become used to using your brain instead. Or possibly that your expectations/routines are vastly different and that makes it harder to remember some things (though in your case that doesn't seem right). Mine asks the odd annoying/daft question but in general they're about things which usually fall under my remit and him not knowing is understandable. For example, as sahm I do all the housework while he's at work and oldest is at school, and take the kids to swim lessons etc while he's at work, so I wouldn't expect him to know any specific details about those. He can do it all, but sometimes needs a reminder about where the polish is, or which compartment section is detergent or softener. Also I like everything to be on a schedule (calendar reminders for all tasks which are a few times a year like reading the meter, cleaning the windows etc), whereas he's always been the type of person to notice and do it when it becomes a problem. So I arrange all the reminders and poke him to do specific tasks at the time. Yes I'm carrying the mental weight of it, but equally he's doing things more regularly than he thinks is needed, because its how I like it. This works for us.

That's absolutely incredible! How on earth does she not know all these things?

Yep - there are lots of them out there ... including my youngest (adult) son who, when on a trip to the supermarket with me once, picked up a packet of something from the freezer section, waved it in front of me and (completely straight-faced) asked "Will I like this?" .... 🙄🙄🙄

My wife doesn't know how to spell the name of the street that we have lived on for 25 years - she asks me when she needs to know. Ditto our post code. And who we bank with with. She just has other things to think about.

"Do these dirty dishes in the sink need washed?", "does this rubbish need to go in the bin", "do you want me to set the table"..........and it goes on. I might add I rarely acknowledge, or answer, these questions and he usually figures it out relatively quickly!

My now ex once was away for work and unexpectedly had to stay another night so had to go and but a new shirt/pants/socks from the nearby M and S
He got the wrong collar size shirt, too small, and the wrong size underpants too small. The size he got he hasn't been for maybe 20 years
You'd have thought that he could ppp into the loo and read the label for the pants at least.
He had been putting in his clothes every day for those 20 years, you might have thought that he'd notice what size he was

Mine tried this weagonized incompetence/helplessness for a bit when we first met. It just didn’t work. I made it very clear that he had lived independently between moving away from his mummy and in with me and I wasn’t going to become his default brain. When he was shirty that I didn’t remind him of his mother’s birthday, I asked him when my mother’s was. Obviously he couldn’t answer that one. I explained that we were supposed to be equal partners and adults and barring an actual diagnosis of some form of dementia, of he needed to be accountable too or I was out. *I also offloaded some of the kid transport and pet-remembering responsibility to even things out to make that point.

My favourite one today was him calling me FIVE TIMES to ask where the dried cranberries were in Morrisons

I think there's a good case to be made for banning mobiles in supermarkets. it's not only men who stand there asking gormless questions and with the advent of the chillers with doors it can be impossible to get what one wants if an idiot is seeking advice from someone on the phone. We managed for many years without being able top get our instructions as we walk round, maybe we need to go back to them.

Oooo I had this. Although they actually had his number, called him on the day time, he was obviously at work and unable to answer, so they messaged me, to which I responded to his number because I don't know the ins and outs of his meeting times etc (no idea why they didn't just message him with options). The next day (and 2 days after) they called me, I said I'd given them his number and why are they calling me? I am as unable to get through to him during the day time too and I'm NOT about to become his personal secretary. Right. Glad that's off my chest, obviously been holding on to pent up rage at the dentist down the road. 😂

I'm curious to know if they harassed the husbands of women they couldn't get through to book an appointment through them.

My husband doesn't tend to ask ridiculous questions though (yet? Is it likely to get worse with age?), but does misplace paperwork a lot (because apparently shoving ol it into drawers constitutes a filing system). Again, not my circus or monkeys!

My husband drives me mad with the questions. Where is? Do we have? I get so fed up of being the oracle. My teen son does it too but not my teen daughter. It is absolutely laziness. I will only answer if the question is phrased in a way that doesn't put the onus on me to know the answer. So "have you seen.." not "where's my.."
It's funny on MN cos I always read " do you think they behave this incompetently at work?" as though they must not, but the men I work with are also completely hopeless 😔
Lately, when my husband hasn't done a job he was supposed to do, I ask him how did it go at the XYZ rather than reminding him to do it as I think it works better to pretend I think he's done it and is competent. It's also more fun. I realise I don't sound very nice saying all this but I'm peri and kind of done with men and their dumb shit

Yep - mine is exactly the same. ‘Do you want me to get the washing in?’. ‘Is it dry?’ ‘Erm…I don’t know…?’

This thread is making me hyperventilate 😂

My favourite one today was him calling me FIVE TIMES to ask where the dried cranberries were in Morrisons and getting super irritated when I missed the calls (they were on Whatsapp which I don’t have notifications switched on for and I was deep in food prep). Spoiler alert: when I called back, he still hadn’t asked anyone in the actual bloody store where they stocked them and was mightily put out when I said I was not intimately familiar with the current location of Morrison’s dried fruit selections. Le sigh.

Also, he asked why he had no boxers that weren’t damp from being washed this morning (and was equally annoyed when I said ‘well, did you do a wash when they were running low? Or even tell me you were running low? That might be why you have no clean, dry boxers’).

Oh, oh and dire muttering about how we were going to be late to a plumbing showroom and it would shut before we got there. Note, I did tell him we’d have to leave at 0930 - we had loads to do around the house before we left so I got up at 7am.

He emerged at 0910, went for a shower and then tutted as I finished the necessary housework and we finally left at 0957. You want to leave on time? Then get up earlier and do some of the stuff that needs sorting so we both finish earlier.

Honestly, he has so many amazing qualities and I love him very much. But today has tested my bloody patience 😂

EDIT: almost forgot - I asked him to divvy up the roast salmon and veggies this evening so I could sit my 31-week pregnant arse down and he said he’d need me to tell him if he was splitting it evenly enough and where to cut the salmon. 🤯🤯🤯 Sweetest, kindest, most wonderful guy I know, I swear.

How does he get through life….how do you stay married??

but why is that funny?

I'm also married to this man . Walked into Barcelona cathedral, neither of us ever visited before, asked me where the toilet was.power cut at the weekend on our close , woke us up as all the neighbours house alarms went off , he woke up , saw I had also just woken up and asked me was it the full town and how long it would last. Few of a long list I'm adding to my "" is my wife. Wikipedia """book

My dh is generally good but he had a shower and I'd washed the bath mat and forgot to put a clean one out. ( I do the laundry because I'm a control freak). Anyway he came out and asked if we had another mat as it was awkward to get dry without one so i asked him why he hadn't stood on the hand towel. He looked at me like i had suggested the earth was square. Sometimes the most obvious things pass him by. To be fair to him he does have mild cognitive impairment.

If he goes to the supermarket my shopping lists have to be exactly specific or he will come back with some ridiculous alternative, think a carton of UHT milk instead of fresh, grated cheese instead of a block. Bread in particular is a nightmare because he'll come back with an expensive huge sourdough loaf instead of a thick sliced toastie. It probably takes me longer to sort out the list so that he cannot misunderstand it than it would for me to actually do the shopping.
And he always buys a special treat for me, usually something that I can't eat (not GF), or don't eat (special offer/out of date thin sliced ham is a favourite).

My DH gives the NHS, garage and dentist MY mobile phone number instead of his own. So I have to verbally relay messages to him. He rarely checks his phone (or answers it) which drives me mad.

Because we were busy doing Everything Else...

Nora Ephron did a riff in Heartburn about men asking where things are: “And if you say to him…’in the refrigerator’… and he goes to look, an interesting thing happens, a medical phenomenon that has not been sufficiently remarked upon. The effect of the refrigerator light on the male cornea. Blindness….. ‘I don’t see it anywhere.'”

When mine asks, I just say 'I'm not Alexa!' Or I do a fake-Alexa answer (or at least I think so, we don't have Alexa, I'm just busking it)...

You married a right thicko.

Brute force, arrogance and entitlement.

Bloody useless men. I have 3 in my house and sometimes it’s a worry whether they’ll be able to stand up and speak at the same time.

Last year DH phoned me to ask which tie went best with his blue striped shirt. I answered. He then rang me straight back to ask about cufflinks.

I was actually in a different country to him.

I haven’t lived with anyone with that particular irritating trait, plenty of others but not that one. If I did, I might be inclined to say, “like a genii granting wishes, I’m going to allow you 3 questions a day. Choose them wisely.”

You have the patience of a saint