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AIBU?

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How can I not get angry at my child?

52 replies

Helpeith · 24/07/2025 10:57

Please help me I want to get better for next academic year so looking for advice now. When I’m helping my daughter with her homework and explain anything she gets wrong she just screams at me “YES I know”, when she clearly doesn’t as she gets it wrong and then calmly ask her to explain to me if she understands and she isn’t able to. She will be in year 6 and teacher has expressed concern with her maths and she’s slightly below where she should be, school has given me homework to do especially for her to get her to the level she needs.

I don’t want to be rude but I often find mumsnet threads derail from any off hand single comment the OP makes - I’m really appreciate of responses i will get but can i please get advice on how to deal with the “arrogance” rather than any underlying issues which I know and school know so no need to go into depth. Basically I need help in how not to get frustrated with her screaming she knows when she clearly doesn’t. She’s really lovely in school but with me she’s quite arrogant. Not just in learning but household stuff she tells me I’m doing it wrong (I think she gets from MIL, as mil takes delight in telling me I’m wrong)

im really scared of responses I will get , I genuinely want advice on how to deal with the “YES I KNow” and she put her fingers in her ears and stops me from explaining to her. She does this to my husband too but he just walks off and says he doesn’t have time for this. He’s a secondary school economics teacher btw and his maths knowledge is far superior to mine. I’m not claiming to be an expert but she does t even let me finish my sentence before she starts screaming and ignoring me,

OP posts:
Lostthefairytale · 24/07/2025 11:05

Changing the way you view her response will help you stay calmer. It's not arrogance. She knows that she is finding it hard and she can't cope with the feeling that she can't do it, so she fights back to avoid having to face the feeling. It's a much more common response than you might think but it's really unhelpful for her because it prevents her from being able to learn. She needs a lot of confidence building in school. If she consistently isn't able do the work that is coming home giving her more is just going to switch her off rather than encourage her. Have you spoken to the teacher to discuss how she responds at home?

BertieBotts · 24/07/2025 11:05

I don't know if this is the right question to ask - you want advice on how to feel less angry about her response but it's quite an annoying/frustrating response, isn't it? So it's quite natural to feel frustrated about it.

I think you are looking more for advice on how to respond? Or how to manage the entire interaction before it gets to the point of her screaming? Or how to support her with maths homework in general?

Sometimes children respond better to a neutral/non-parent teaching them - would it help to look into summer maths tutoring maybe?