To give up my bedroom for my adult children?

You sound like a brilliant mum who is doing her best, you’ve got to do what works for your family ❤️

We meet friends outside our home so having a tiny living room is a non issue. Only grandparents occasionally visit. I prefer it this way tbh. All the DC love going to their rooms listening to music or gaming etc. It's only wee ones who hang around watching TV.

It shows creativity as a parent, also that you can solve problems without the knee jerk reaction of buying a larger property which is unnecessary long term. The OP like myself will have adult children eventually moving out wanting their own space so it's unwise to move house at this point...

She already said it wasn't big enough to do this...

We did this last house stud wall inexpensive but more permanent and made it into a proper extra room tbh.

But each child will have their own bedroom where they can game, watch TV etc.

I think it's a very sensible solution. I agree with the pp who suggested IKEA Kallax units as a "wall". One of my friends has done this very effectively in her flat to create a second bedroom in her huge L shaped lounge/diner. It will give you loads of storage space as well.

@maliafawn you're an ace mum and I'd like to think I'd do exactly the same in a heartbeat.
😍

Because none of the available bedrooms are a suitable bedroom + workspace, and what son wants to do in a bedroom is game and be loud, which means the adjoining living space would be unusable by anyone wanting to sit watching tv/read a book/talk to other people.

Your plan sounds thoughtful and practical, balancing everyone’s needs within limited space. Using the large living room as your bedroom/workspace frees up actual bedrooms for the kids, which makes sense given their ages and needs. It's not “mad” at all—it’s smart, adaptive parenting.

That sounds like an awful lot of hassle, but I do see that you are pushed for options. Sorry I said it sounds hellish before - but truly that's what popped into my head. I'd go mad without a quiet space of my own with a real door and a wall - but if I had no choice, I guess I would just get usd to it.

I think it's great that you are trying to look after your family as best you can and it won't be forever, it is a safe home and you are a good mum.

Try it for a while. If it doesn't work you have to go back to the drawing board and start again, but it is worth a try - unless you entertain a lot, that is?

Perhaps a sofa bed might be a good idea?

Sounds like a good idea to me!

@FancyCatSlave there's nothing daft about saving - or simply not being able to afford - £200 a week.

I think the child going to uni should move in to halls. Plenty of people manage the finances without parental contribution. Then they can have the dining room as a bedroom in the holidays.
Hopefully your daughter will follow on in 2 years and then you’ll be 2 adults in a 3 bed and all will be well.

Living at home for uni is daft when there is clearly not enough apace.

Yes this.
It seems like a practical solutions which you've spent time considering.

You were asking these people for a lift to Ikea and to help move some furniture.

You weren't asking them for permission to do it.

Is their help conditional on you taking their advice and changing your plans?

Don't doubt yourself, you know your home and your children better than they do. You sound like a great mum BTW..
Ps. You can always hire a "man with a van" and they probably won't start giving advice.

DH and I have done the same, with two of us and one fewer bedroom / child. We have a two bed apartment, with two children who has really outgrown sharing a room. So we sacrificed our dining area, and partitioned it off to give us a sleeping area. We bought a much smaller dining table that fits in the living room - just. But tbh DH and I more or less have the sleeping / living space to ourselves as the boys both stay in their rooms mostly, and socialise / entertain there too as that’s where the PlayStations are and they have space for armchairs / beanbags.

I’ve never felt my bedroom is my sanctuary- I’ve shared my sleeping space with babies, toddlers, DH for 25 years now - this is just one more stage. A bed is comfortable surface to sleep on - that’s really all I ask of it.

and needs must!

Homes are designed to be lived in. If that means you need to be a bit unconventional then so be it. You live in it, it doesn't need to be traditional and be looking like a showhome. The people you've spoken to are very narrow minded. You still continue to have the same outgoings but everyone gets their space. The middle and youngest will no doubt be spreading their wings in the next 5-7 years and you might only have until then before you get a room back. YANBU.

I think you are genius! I also would do anything to help my young adult DC out should they ever need to return home too-they didn’t ask to be born and I accept that I am their rock as long as I am able to be. I’ve actually lived at both ends of the ‘space spectrum’ myself - I’ve realised I could live in a tiny space so long as I could make it mine and Ddogs could be accommodated. Enjoy your ‘snug’ and revel in the love and closeness of your family unit while you can. Good luck OP.

She literally posted asking people for opinions 😅🙂😆

It's none of anyone else's business! If it's working for you then it's the right decision!

Sounds like good idea to me

You say you work from home, what will happen when they want to use the living room? They're unlikely to never want to watch TV or hang out in the living room during working hours, and what about school holidays?