To give up my bedroom for my adult children?

I think your plan sounds like the best solution in the circumstances, Op. You don’t need to justify it to anyone.
I haven’t read all the responses but I did pick up on at least one poster who said it was too many adults for the size of the house.
When I was young there were four adults (DM, DF and two older Dsis) plus me in a three bed semi. I initially shared with middle DSis and then had the box room which had only space for a single bed and chest of drawers, while both sisters shared. There was no space for my clothes which I kept in DM and DF room, or my toys which were mainly kept downstairs. When both sisters moved out when I was 14, I moved into their room. Happy days.
Yes, it was a squash and not ideal but we managed. Clearly times and expectations have changed. My own house was similar and when my own dds were young teens I built over the garage so the youngest could move out of the box room, but I was fortunate to be in the position to be able to.
Needs must and I hope you enjoy being able to chill in your living room. You sound like a lovely mum.

My living room sounds smaller than yours but this would work in my house too. We have a door at either end of the room and windows at either end, so potentially it could be completely divided off.

I have young adult children and they spend more time in their rooms than anywhere so I’m pretty much the only one using the living areas for most of the day.

I wouldn't give my bedroom up.
Can't the males share?

Fair enough, I can see as it's a fast paced thread I have definitely quoted you earlier so apologies for that👍🏻

I’d do it yes, most sensible answer

I actually meant I have gone through it with my own DC right now same as OP so have personal experience of what she is going through. Moving house would be short sighted - another poster on the thread had mentioned that as a solution. I think you may have misunderstood my comment upthread...

I just want to say what a thoughtful and caring parent you are for making this kind of adjustment for your kids. I didn’t have options like this growing up, so seeing you do this really stands out—it’s honestly wonderful.

I know some people might see it as a tough situation, but it sounds like you’ve made it work in a really sensible way. Why not make your new room feel like a little sanctuary? Add some cosy touches—fairy lights, a wax warmer with lovely scents, maybe even treat yourself to some new bedding if it fits the budget. A few simple comforts can really help shift the mood and make it feel like your own space.

Sometimes life hands us tricky moments, but you’re clearly turning it into something meaningful. I really believe your kids will one day look back and realise how much you did for them, even if they don’t fully see it right now. You’ve given them such a gift—time and space to focus on their futures—and that’s something they’ll carry with them.

Wishing you lots of love and brighter days ahead 🌸💐

If it’s the best you can do then go for it; we slept in a separate room downstairs after moving and it never felt like my bedroom as the household was so busy.
I was keen to get back upstairs and told my eldest daughter early on that her room would be ours once she left home.

You have to do what’s best for you, and it sounds like you’re making it work! Other people will always have something to say, so just ignore them.

I think your plan does seem like the best possible solution for now.

One suggestion, rather than the Japanese room divider, could you put or a curtain rod with thick, lined drapes on it? I'm thinking this enough that it could muffle some noise between the two divided spaces? I feel like this is a cheap solution that could help to give a bit more privacy even if it is just for noise and light.

We're all qualified to give opinions on it, of course, since the only requirement is life experience.

And, of course many of us - including me - have lived in houses where there two bedrooms and 5 family members and so are abundantly qualified to comment, should such a qualification be required - which it's not.

Oh, and @maliafawn when I was a young girl, we had two bedrooms and 5 people, mum dad and my two brothers. My brothers shared one bedroom, I had the box room, my mum bought a fold down couch and slept in the living room with my dad. It was hellish, something my mother said a few times, which is why I used that word originally. Mum was desperate for a bedroom, and within about 4 years had managed to get out of there and into a 3 bedroom house, the boys still shared but mum and dad had their own bedroom again.

Having said that, your living room is at least big enough to be divided, which ours wasn't. And you are doing it for the same reasons my mum did, no real choice.

So again, you are a good mum trying to do the right thing for your kids. Good luck.

You literally quoted me, so yes it was about my comment 🤣

As for the OP's experience of what she's going through I have went through it myself so am definitely qualified to give opinions on it. It's a really kind thing to do OP. It more than likely won't be forever. You need your own bed as you need to be comfy.

I agree. It wasn't aimed at you personally but at the thread in general. Not everything is about you 😀

I expect she will, yes. Very sensible of the OP to say she will be moving her king bed in to her new bedroom/living room.

I expect she will look at suggestions and decide what she wants.

Sofa beds are notoriously uncomfortable, not designed for regular sleeping. Her sleep will already be disrupted, even a large single regular bed would be better. There's also no point unless she is going to put it up and down every day, which means if she ever feels like a lie down she has to put it down and make it again, as well as put it down and put it up every single night and morning. I would not do this.

Your comment is not relevant to my comment.

Some people have put a shed in the garden for their children to work/play in. There are some very good sheds on the market, if you have a garden.

Is the house your own? If it is, is it extendable? Do you have a garage?

I’d personally put you in the biggest room and have that as your work space as well as your bedroom? You need somewhere to be able to get away to from everyone and you need to prioritise yourself as the bill earner and payer snd manager of everything! You won’t get any sleep etc and your eldest Autist needs giving rules on when he can and can’t game as he can’t be allowed to rule the house with his noise and activity! I say that as a parent of an autistic older child who does exactly the same thing and I had to make it very clear that between the hours of 10pm and whatever that he needs to either sleep or do something quiet as the rest of the house needs to sleep and when working from home he also need to be quiet! He shouldnt be allowed unlimited gaming anyway as that’s not good for him. I know it’s the easiest way to manage him and keep him happy but everyone else suffers

OP you sound like an amazing mum who is looking after the wellbeing of everyone in the house, including your own. Loving all the useless responses saying oh it’s hellish, oh I couldn’t do it, oh this is martyrdom…all from people who are in a different situation to you. They say they wouldn’t/couldn’t do it because they have never had to and they had other options. Or chose other options that worked for their specific circumstances. There are people in the world living in truly hellish conditions. You only need to open look at the news every day. A 3 bed house full of loving family members who look after each other is not hellish and some people can only dream of growing up in a loving environment like this. Best of luck to you and just ignore the naysayers.

This. Tricky circumstances, but I think that is the best solution in them.

Good luck!

I have a pal who gave her child her room and she took the box room. She really only slept in room whereas child had games and watched TV. It made sense.

It sounds sensible but it is your house so do what is right for you