Dr called me rude then got offended when I called him rude back

I think the doctor is a highly trained professional who deals with all strata of the public on a daily basis. It is part of their role to put people at ease, to listen as well as speak and to help them to communicate easily and to make adjustments for diversity.

I think the Dr shoukd be intelligent and well educated enough to have simply said "please will you let me tell you my thoughts, and I'll give yiu the opportunity to tell me more and ask questions when I've finished.

The Dr was the professional and shoukd have handled it better from the get go.

I hope you get a kinder Dr next time @amilea.

You could always ask at the start of the appointment if it's ok to ask questions while they are telling you about something in case you forget to ask it at the end of their little speech or if you should just make notes and ask at the end.

I think with some doctors, as with solicitors, they have a lot of important information to impart and they need to make sure they remember to tell you it all in case there is comeback later and you accuse them of not having informed you of something. If they are constantly interrupted and the conversation takes a bit of a diversion it might be difficult for some doctors to get back to where they were especially if they only have a short time to talk to you.

Maybe you're the problem. Ive never had such an experience with any doctor like that.

It's impossible to say whether you were rude or he was.
It does sound, though, as though there were heightened emotions, especially if you were crying.
It's normally quite easy to tell when another person has finished speaking, even on a telephone call.
As an Autistic person, I can struggle with conversations, but I try to listen/look out for cues/breaks in speaking.
I've had a lot of physical health problems in the past couple of decades and never once had a problematic conversation with a GP or Consultant, NHS or private, so sorry to hear you have had a difficult experience.
Perhaps it's best, in this instance, that you've been referred on.

You were very rude & passive aggressive, “can I speak now”?? You presumably need his help, yes?

@amilea I so empathise! I’ve always found the majority of consultants arrogant and a little odd. I’m am absolute introvert but I do come prepared knowing that the appointment is critical and usually had a year wait and I can’t quite remember the exact words used but it was implied, I’m interrupting/challenging/think I know better - just because I question and not in a horrible way but more so to understand my condition, how best to manage it etc.

I also find it’s better to take someone as one particular consultant was so much nicer to me just because I had a male friend sat there with me!

I think most just want you to shut up, do as is asked and ask zero Qs 😑

😂 spat out my tea laughing at this

It's a shame it went like that. Funnily I've usually found Consultants to be polite, not all obviously but generally. Junior doctors on the other hand aren't always great but I tend to think they are probably under a lot of pressure, student loans, long hours etc.

Hope you get a new appointment soon.

😂😂😂😂😂

I probably agree, although I will say, OP, I’m quite hard to offend and I normally see the good in people but of the many, many doctors I have dealt with (I see a fair few different specialists for my disabled son as well as the odd one for myself or my other child), most have been wonderful but there are two I’ve met whose arrogance was completely astounding, and who correspondingly were unmissably rude. I obviously didn’t say anything and was frostily polite because I didn’t want to piss them off but if yours was like them then tbh good on you for not standing for it!

Can’t say if you were rude or not, but I’d be happy to be referred to someone else after dealing with something similiar myself. If you’re asking people questions to help them, surely you should be letting them talk, not talking over them, even more so if they’re trying to tell you the information you have is incorrect.

I recently called 111 and the person that was doing my assessment was rude. He kept interrupting me as I was telling him my symptoms. I was answering the questions he was asking me! He didn’t like my answer for how my skin felt so repeated it again and asked me to describe it differently. I asked him to explain and he sounded exasperated, quite abrupt with me and asked does my skin feel like a cold fish. I don’t particularly know the feeling since I don’t touch fish with my hands and not sure what was wrong with my answer that my skin felt cold and clammy which I think is a common term. I was calm, polite, didn’t raise my voice, apologised when my 1 yo made a noise in the background, and my answers weren’t long-winded. I told DH about it when I hung up and he said do it via the web. Will do that from now on.

Thankfully, the gentleman who contacted me was much better, let me finish my sentences, and sent me to out of hours gp who then sent me straight to the hospital. Strangulated paraumbilical hernia, immediate surgery needed.

Good on you.
I'd love to see his face drop. 😅 pity you missed it.

You inflamed the situation then. You weren't talking to a 6 year old child

That's whet the doctor said to her first though, and she isnt a child either.

No, I didn't. Its entirely irrelevant who is paying for a service. It should be performed with skill, care and professionalism regardless. I said what I intended to say and missed nothing.

On a social level, it's generally rude to accuse someone else of being rude. But if he had tried something professional like "I know you must be upset, but please try to focus on what I am saying and let me finish, then if you still have questions I'll do my best to answer them" and you were still interrupting him, then maybe he thought the shock value of calling you rude would snap you out of it. As things proceeded, you were both rude, but he is supposed to be the experienced professional. Perhaps in the long run, you are better off with a doctor who has some "people skills".

The trouble with doctors is that they think they are superior, and many just can't face it when told they are being rude and patronising.

Phone calls don't help.

You inflamed the situation then. You weren't talking to a 6 year old child. I would have loved to have heard exactly how the conversation went between the 2 of you.

Some times your feel like you’ve entered a parallel dimension on certain threads!

Are you 12?

Of course they can’t just “say anything”, but frankly you did come across as rude imo.

The irony of your post.

What the poster said is nothing like “I pay your wages”. She’s pointing out that he’s the paid professional and should act like one. He shouldn’t be berating patients, it’s incredibly unprofessional.

Are you 12?

Of course they can’t just “say anything”, but frankly you did come across as rude imo.

He’s presumably the only dr you had to talk to that day, whereas he has to talk to a bunch of different stressed out patients. Unless it’s something truly egregious I’d just let it slide and be a bit more understanding.

Absolutely not acceptable for someone in a public facing profession to speak to a member of the public like this. No. That is very unprofessional. I would put in a formal complaint. The replies saying that they think doctors should be allowed to be rude/ unprofessional are bizarre. He was worse than you because he is a paid working professional and it sounds like he has broken his code of conduct.