Nurse said something strange about breastfed babies

Complain. It's an inappropriate thing to say.
I remember a nurse at my doctors' surgery telling me that if I didn't quickly start having sex after birth, then my husband would have an affair. I wish I had complained about that.

You should have said ‘clearly you were bottle fed. Ah well’.

In which case she'll almost certainly breastfeed any children she has, and wonder why her own mother didn't.

I only have a 2.1 but it's enough of an education for me to realise that health researchers universally recommend breast feeding.

Do you think it's because they're on the payroll of breast pump manufactuters?

In fact the data shows that breast milk is on average better no matter what your diet is like; and it is also protective against developing allergies. That doesn’t mean that some breastfed babies won’t develop allergies and many formula fed babies won’t. The data tells you about risk levels and tendencies on a broad level; not on a predictive level for indiduals. That’s how statistics work.

There’s a massive resistance on MN to all the evidence on breastfeeding because people don’t want to be made to feel bad about their individual choices. That’s understandable. But it doesn’t mean the data is wrong. OP might feel quite justifiably that the nurse was not being very sensitive about it, however, but that might not be the same as being unprofessional.

Example re statistics with a more limited data set: I took a risk looking at the SIDS data when deciding to cosleep with DD — a risk which was comparable to the increased risk of SIDS from formula feeding (I’m talking about “safe” planned cosleeping, not accidental cosleeping, which has a much higher risk factor). This was a small increased risk that I judged worth taking because it worked for us. Nothing happened to DD. Nothing happens to most babies who cosleep. But NHS midwives and healthcare professionals will advise against it precisely because it’s an increased risk. And if I told them I was doing it, they warned me about the risk. I can’t complain about that.

Obviously bf vs ff is a much more complex statistical set of risks vs outcomes. But on average, the data shows bf is better for health and social outcomes on a range of different measures. The advantages in developed countries for middle class mothers and babies may be small, and may well be offset by lots of other factors. But that does not mean the data does not show that there’s no difference, or that it’s all explained by other things. But it’s perfectly valid to decide to formula feed anyway for all sorts of reasons.

You can't tell by looking whose mother's smoked during pregnancy. It used to be very common. With drinking you can sometimes tell if the mother had it during pregnancy if the characteristics of FAS are visible.

The nurse doesn't sound very emotionally intelligent.

But breast feeding is environment! That’s the point. There are lots of studies that suggest a link. Same with studies that show a link between feeding choice and obesity and other health outcomes in later life, and so on. Formula feeding is also a risk factor for SIDS under 6 months, for example — this is clear in the data. Should this not be mentioned by health professionals just because people on mumsnet don’t like it?

Definitely complain. I couldn't bf after a traumatic birth and had terrible post partum anxiety while trying to accept that I couldn't feed. A remark like this would have pushed me over the edge. In fact, I dealt with a lot of medical professionals at that time and none of them mentioned anything about my bottle feeding.

An advantage of formula is that you know how much milk your baby is getting. My baby was slower to gain weight than other babies in my post natal group and I was worried he would get dehydrated as the weather was so hot.
Also, surely the quality of your breastmilk is only as good as the food you eat. I am terrible at eating 8 portions of fruit and veg and at avoiding processed food, Also, allergies run in my family so I worry about accidentally introducing allergens through my diet. There are so many common allergens that if I were to avoid them all, my diet would be too restrictive to breastfeed effectively I figured that formula cut out all of the unknowns.It seems to me that the positives of breastfeeding are marginal at best, and there are too many potential problems.

No the nurse said something completely incorrect in a hugely inappropriate and misleading way to a struggling mum disregarding her MH struggles. Breast feeding does not change genes or environment which both dictate intelligence.

Op needs to complain.

Hahaha 🤣

Actually when I was teaching in primary, many of the children from smoking households had inhalers, and their doctors would be able to tell. Breastfed? The doctor wouldn’t have a scooby.

Well, whether it’s causation or correlation doesn’t mean she was wrong, as this link suggests. (According to what you’ve said, OP: you said she said “breastfed babies are more intelligent” not “breastfeeding makes babies more intelligent”.)

Honestly, OP, you’re massively overreacting to something that is actually NHS policy (to encourage breastfeeding) because you’re personally feeling sensitive about it. Try not to let a random comment get to you during a sensitive hormonal stage. Breastfeeding vs bottle feeding is a complex choice weighed up by each family and baby. It doesn’t mean that on the population level breastfeeding isn’t better for babies in general: it is. There’s a big difference between individuals and statistical outcomes overall. Obviously there are many babies who are geniuses despite being formula fed and vice versa and everything in between. But the plural of anecdote is not data. The data suggests that breastfeeding is better on average than formula. You are perfectly okay though to make your own individual choice that works best for you; and formula may well work best for you and your baby.

I think the NHS focuses on all those issues.

That's all the evidence I need.

Annecdotal evidence proves nothing. He got a PhD. I have two Masters and I was spoon fed as I was born with a cleft palette and spent some months in hospital away from my mother. My breastfed DS failed two lots of university but runs a large company's online shops and my DD, also breastfed, got a 2.1 in Law and a prize with it. Hands held out...all this is anecdotal.
But the nurse was right 'breast is best' and also (though she did not say it) supplementing with formula causes problems with breastfeeding.

Well yes i agree smoking and drinking in pg will have more impact than bf.
In playground ---both me and dsis have asthma. She is also small considering parental height. And we both weighed under 6lb.
Personally think.there maybe links to asd and or adhd too.

Drinking- 5% of kids apparently have fasd. Which is same numbers as adhd and obviously much higher than asd.

We may also see differences in playground of kids born to older parents with higher asd rates. So these kids could be wandering around alone, stimming, not interested in sports etc. Apparently kids of older parents also have more mh issues etc

Does rather suggest nhs focused on wrong area - bf vs the harms of smoking/drinking presumably drugs and wsiting until say 35+ to have dc.

One difference, breastfed babies imbibe antibodies which protect them until they can be vaccinated.

Wonder how my 6’4” formula fed brother got a PhD then? My mother also smoked through both pregnancies.

You can't reasonably complain about a health care professional telling you something that's true, just because you'd rather it wasn't.

You can decide to drop breastfeeding completely, it's not mandatory, but as the nurse told you, all the evidence shows that it is better to breastfeed, so of course she's encouraging you to continue.

In trying to make everyone feel good about their feeding choices, we end up with 'fed is best' being trotted out, as if formula was as good as breastmilk. It isn't, breast is best, we're not supporting babies and mothers by pretending it isn't.

And yes, of course there are formula fed babies who went on to get a first from Oxford, but population level studies show that breastfed babies will, on average, do better than formula fed.

I was formula fed, and my mother smoked througout her pregnancy and my childhood. Would I be smarter and taller if she hadn't? I don't know, but I breast fed my kids, and did not let my mum smoke in their home or in their company.

You can. Many wouldn’t be there as smoking whilst pregnant causes still birth, miscarriage and SIDs.It also causes birth defects for those that survive.

This exactly.
Nurse was tactless and insensitive, very concerning re the impact on a vulnerable person.
I remember having cracked, bleeding nipples whilst bf and was made to feel inadequate and offering second best to my baby by the breast is best brigade when I wanted to change to bottle

You can't tell in a playground full of children which ones mothers smoked during pregnancy either. It doesn't mean there's no effect.

I think we all know not to believe everything in the newspapers.

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-31925449

Perhaps she read this? But I agree that it wasn't very tactful.