Maintenance Payments Ending

Uni is a choice, if exH is prepared to support then that is up to him and should be direct to the children.

I don't think it is up to you to say this is the amount he should be contributing, you give what you feel you can contribute and he decides what level he will support and for how long.

Agree 100%.

The fact that the op won’t answer the questions means no one can help here.
Why they were getting spousal support is a crucial point as that’s very rare in the UK. This reason could be well affect what the teens get in terms of student loans, for example (if the op is disabled or can’t work many hours for some reason there is more help available)
Student finance is based on the resident parent’s income as others have said.
Of course the father should contribute to his children at uni (I paid half if my kids’ rent and my ex the other half) but without the facts here we can’t advise.
If the op has chosen to work very part time then it’s a bit of a cheek to be expecting her ex to pay loads given he has been already.
Mumsnet does not have an ‘obsession’ with women working. I believe both parents should be contributing to help their child through education. Expecting a man to fund everything these days is a ridiculous stance.

Mothers should work though unless they’re happy to be financially insecure and fully depend on a man. I have a toddler and work full time, which means a woman with teens definitely can. OP hasn’t said, but if she’s working part time then she needs to start working full time as she needs the money.

Maintenance loan and part time jobs. They don’t need you to pay for everything at uni. Why should your ex continue to give you money if your children are adults? Money goes straight to the adult children.

I don't think op has said anywhere that dc's dad doesn't intend to financially help. The question was about whether she should ask for him to contribute more than 50/50, as his earnings are higher than hers. Depending on how the relationship between op and her ex is, it may be better for the dc to talk to their dad directly about how much he will contribute.

Oh I know, I agree. It's always the same on here. Utter obsession with mothers working, it's the only thing that matters, whatever the discussion. No wonder we're in the state we're in. Demonising motherhood was an economic policy to double the tax base. It was never about 'empowerment' - nothing ever is.

I think what many people forget (choose to ignore) is that when you are in OPs position, your costs do not end because your children are 18. They also don't end just because your payments from your ex do. Most people don't downsize to a studio apartment on their youngest child's 18th and leave the kids to fend for themselves.

If they apply for student loans stating that they live with you, your lower income will be taken into consideration and hopefully they will be eligible for the highest rate maintenance loans.

I think everyone is a little unrealistic. Young adults are expensive as all help for them stops but they often aren’t able to fully support themselves for a while. Therefore parents pick up the slack, which is fine unless you’re running a house on one wage.

Surely you must have been preparing for this? If your child is old enough that maintenance is stopping then maybe they should pay you some keep.

Well it was very clear to me that OP earns from a job based on what she wrote.

Unfortunately if the court states the 50/50 and your ex says no, there is not much you can do.
My sisters court order said that spousal maintenance would stop but that as long as children were in full time education he had to pay an amount per month direct to them. This covered university accommodation.
My two DC cost approx £900 per month (together) for university accommodation so you would have to pay roughly £450 per month plus food etc when they were home. Their student loans paid the rest.

They need to support themselves like any other university student would do.

Of course morally he should support them to a greater degree than you. Buy given the patriarchal and discriminatory system we have where women, children and future generations are somewhat of an afterthought, it’s unlikely he will unless he is a very decent bloke. You could ask him if he can continue to support them with an allowance or towards their housing directly; they could also sit down with him and go through their finances so he can see what they need. It would likely give heard better coming from them I expect!

Do you have anything in your court order? My ex and I agreed he would pay half the costs through uni - well actually the judge told him he had to agree. She's not going to uni atm so he's going to be paying her money so that she can pay me some rent as well as half her phone bill, a contribution to her loan horse and money towards her car when the insurance is up. Neither of us think that now she's got to 18 she will all of a sudden stop costing us money, he's also not going to see her struggle. It can't hurt to ask him.

Just a general comment but I find it impossible to believe that a man earning three times as much as you wouldn't be willing to pay decent money to help his own children. What kind of human being would do that.

a sizeable proportion of fathers don't pay anything at all towards their offspring. They don't even stick around long enough to see them through primary school let alone university!

the comparison between the OPs income and his isn't relevant. Income isn't fixed and it can change overnight. He's either going to be someone who takes his obligations seriously or he isn't, irrespective of how much he earns.

The best chance of success will be the children asking their father directly for financial support for university.

cut yourself out of the loop on this. He is less likely to refuse his kids than you.

They can claim student loan for maintenance & check out bursaries, my ds gets full maintenance loan & 2 bursaries which add up to around £16k a year, if you earn less than £25k a year they should get full maintenance loans.

Your kids will be adults let them speak to their dad about helping them. Of course any decent parent would help out. He's not obligated. The kids need to get a job to help pay their way.

I totally agree, especially that OP and her "ex should contribute to the DTs' uni costs in proportion to your incomes".

(Some of the contributions to this thread are dripping with passive aggressiveness. Why, just why...)

I think people are asking if you work full time? Because now the kids are about to be 18 maybe you can up your hours and earning potential?

You can be annoyed if he doesn't give reasonable support to your children of course and you can continue to financially support your children but that's really your only options plenty of people go to university with zero parental financial support myself included so your children need the tools to manage.

You can only ask !

Both your teens need to focus on getting summer holiday jobs and saving all they earn. Hopefully they got that organised when their A'levels finished, months ago

Then when they get to uni, they will need part time jobs - look at hospitality etc - to supplement their loans.

Its disappointing to read the begrudgery in the replies to the OP.
'I didn't get anything'
'My kids worked'
'Do you work full time and earn as much as possible'
'You've had a good deal'.
'They are adults, let them take loans out'

The children's father, should of course, continue to support the children. What kind of parent would saddle their kids with debt unless there was no other option which doesn't apply in the OP's case as they have a father who earns enough to continue supporting his kid's education.

Their Dad should be more than happy to pay more towards the living costs of his kids at university!