Maintenance Payments Ending

I think the responsibility of the ex is to fund the kids. Not the resident parents lifestyle.

Take this example. A four bed house. Two kids go off to university. Resident parent says I can't afford to fund the kids and live in this house, you need to pay more.

Non resident parent says, no, my responsibility is to 50% fund the kids. If you want to live in a house that is too big and you can't afford to maintain while funding the kids with your 50%, then that's your problem not mine. You should sell up, get somewhere cheaper and use the money to fund your 50% share.

You have just made all of that up based on nothing.

Of course payments stop they are adults! Or did you want your ex to support you for ever, they are adults uni or not they will have to work, good for him if your ex earns a good wage, your kids will be off your hands you can do the same,

I can’t be the only one wondering if there’s no relationship between the twins and their father. If so, sadly, that means he is unlikely to pay for their adult choices. Their loans will have been worked out on their main residence, so they aren’t any more disadvantaged than others with a similar household income to OP.

there are various circumstances where CM will continue after 18. Only you know all circumstances so I would contact CMS and talk to them

Student loans are based on resident household income, not parental income as such (so my DDs loans are based on me and my DH income, not me and their Dads - there is a whole other arguement to be had there).
If your income is lower OP they will at least qualify for a higher amount of loan - I suppose then it would be worth negotiating how much you and your ex are each able to contribute to your DC.

GAJLY · Today 08:45

"If they're 18, they're legally adults. He doesn't have to pay anything anymore. They can get student loans and work part.time jobs. If you are part time, you could increase your hours."

The student loan for their tuition is paid directly to the university. The maintenance loan for their day to day living costs is dependent upon parental income.

If they're 18, they're legally adults. He doesn't have to pay anything anymore. They can get student loans and work part.time jobs. If you are part time, you could increase your hours.

Best advice I can give is to apply to the court for a continuation of any financial support, because once they are 18, and have left school, he is not legally obliged to give them anything at all, without a court order in place. This MUST be applied for before their 18th birthday. I wish someone (my solicitor) had told me this, when my son went to uni. My son got nothing, despite our prior verbal agreement.
If you already have a court order for 50/50 you (and your children) are extremely lucky,and you are unlikely imho to get any more.

This is an arrangement your adult children need to work out with their dad. You let them know what money you can contribute each month. They can discuss with their dad how much he will contribute. Then if they need more, they need to earn it. I would do nothing more than let them all know that whatever they arrange is between them, but given your income level, all you can afford is x amount (accounting for any housing, water, internet, phone you are already funding).

Why shouldn't their wealthy father stump up? Not for the sake of OP, but for his kids.

Do we know if he is/isn't willing to do that?

Why shouldn't their wealthy father stump up? Not for the sake of OP, but for his kids.

I think it really depends on how much money you actually earn, not on whether he earns 3x your earnings. If you're on a very low wage then it's reasonable to expect him to pay more. He doesn't have to, but his children will be affected if not. But if you earn a reasonable amount and can afford your share, then he'll probably just say no. It also depends if they get the full maintenance loan or not, as to how much money they'll actually need.
They'll probably need someone to come up with the rental deposits any time they are in private accommodation and not university halls. The deposits and the first month's rent are always due before they get any loans they are entitled to. I couldn't afford any of this and my ex had to pay upfront for everything.
The best thing to do is have an actual conversation about it.

Time to send them to work and start charging board...

What’s a Judge got to do with anything? There’s no more maintenance due. This is about voluntary payments for uni students.

Christ some people really are bitter aren’t they.
Your ex husband provided you with money for 3-4 years longer than he had to & yet you still have to have a dig.

So you have known about this for a while what have you been doing yourself to earn more?

Ignore the nasty comments. You can always ask.
If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
And nobody can predict what a judge Will and won’t sign off literally they are in law to themselves and it depends what bloody day of the week and which side of bed they got out of office to what the outcome is.

I think not. And I'm divorced and reliant on CM.
He's upheld the agreement. You've had time to plan. How much he earns now is irrelevant - you made a financial split years ago.
Hopefully hell be a decent guy and keep supporting his kids.
You can ask for a meeting to navigate the next few years and find out what funds he can give, state what you can give etc. So you and the kids know where they are. That's fair.

You say he earns 3x more than you - that could be that you earn £15k and he earns £45k. But as you’re receiving spousal maintenance is suspect it’s more like you earn £100k and he earns £300k.

You can ask him to pay more, he can say no.

Yep, been there ( as mentioned above).

Very little maintenance and when I went through the CMS his contribution was calculated minus his wife’s child who lived with them 50/50. This child had a dad and mum both working full time (excess of £175,000) and lived with dad 50% of the time.

My ExH contribution towards this child was more than the contribution for his own three. Therefore his calculated CMS per month ( he earned £60,000 plus) didn't even cover the cost of their school meals!

He was also perfectly accepting that another man (my DP) contributed towards his children's living costs and uni costs! I would be so embarrassed!

Fortunately, it has meant our children are self sufficient and worked hard at their part time jobs. I supported them with an equal contribution to their earnings. They also took a break to work between graduating and starting their masters to save again.

Massive drip feed that they're 18 and heading off to uni in September.

My youngest is also heading to uni in September and all financial support will end - CMS, child benefits and some UC. I've known that this time will come for 12 years and have planned accordingly - my mortgage is almost due to end and I've a little bit of savings.

I fully expect my ex not to contribute a penny to DD when she goes to uni, so any additional costs will fall to me when she comes home. I'll also be sending her a little cash each month but she's going to have to get a job as well to be able to afford to live.

If he was contributing I would expect the money to go straight to DD, not via me

Spousal maintenance is incredibly rare to be awarded - it sounds like you have been in receipt of it for many years; what steps have yo taken to mitigate this huge drop in income?

Maybe he can pay the same amount directly to the kids to cover their costs.

My ex continued to pay maintenance whilst my two were at university, half was shared between the two of them for living costs and half stayed with me. My ex viewed it as “ supporting their home”. I used the half he gave me to go towards their living costs whilst they were away and the house costs during term breaks.

if you’ve always know this was the case , what have you done to increase your earning potential in this time? I think it’s completely unreasonable for you to ask for more than 50% considering you’ve also received spousal maintenance! You really should be in a position to pay your own way!