This is long and complicated but I really need some advice and to know whether I'm being unreasonable.
I'm in my 30’s and still live at home due to severe mental health issues. I live with my mother and my younger sister and for the past year—my older sister too. I have agrophobia and I haven't left the house in a lot of years. I mostly stick to my bedroom.
For the past 9 years, my mother has been having her grandchildren every weekend. They're not her grandchildren by blood (this is the complicated bit) They’re the children of someone my mother adopted (unofficially) At first it was just the one (DGD) but now there is five of them (they're a blended family) DSGS (13) DGD (10) DSGS (10) DGD (3) and DGS (6M). She will have the two youngest from thus-monday and the oldest three Fri-Sun. The house is always very chaotic and that's something I struggle with.
Now, I adore all of the kids and I have a really good relationship with them. I call them my nephews and nieces and they call me Auntie. They love hanging out with me and I love spending time with them. However, they can be a handful, especially the two oldest. They fight constantly. DGD has explosive tantrums which include yelling, throwing things, and screaming/crying. This type of behaviour is something I really can't handle, it makes me anxious and I get overwhelmed and experience sensory overload. DGD is always in some kind of trouble. She has recently been being violent at school and sometimes shows aggression towards her siblings. As far as I know her parents are in the process of seeking help for her behaviour because its gotten to a point where they can't manage it either.
I have spoken to my mother and told her that having them here with all the chaos and the fighting and tantrums, is really affecting me mentally which in turn is taking a toll of my physical health. However, she says its her house and her choice to have them and I can't control who she has in her house. She says I'm being selfish by not wanting them here every week. She says she should be allowed to spend as much time with them as she wants. She will not budge on the matter
I honestly don't know what to. I'm at a real loss because I can't move out and even if I could, I don't think I would cope on my own. Now, I'm debating with myself on whether I am just being selfish and dramatic or if I really am entitled to some peace and quiet once in a while.