I have 2 children aged 11 and 7 and my sister in law keeps asking if they can do things with them. On one hand it’s great she wants to spend time with them (my brother will be involved as well, she’s just the organiser), they have a great relationship and I really want to encourage that but on the other hand, she puts me in a difficult position of sometimes wanting/deciding to say no and then getting grief if I do and being made to feel really selfish (which I get I am being to some degree).
They are childless through choice but also have higher incomes so often their suggestions are out of reach for us (or something we need to plan for) and they are suggesting experiences for my kids that I don’t want to not be there for. Top end think safari lodges in the UK at £1000 for one night, first trip to London and a show in the West End kind of things but then smaller trips such as first visit to a particular zoo (which has been a family fave through 2 generations of our family).
Am I being unreasonable though to deny my kids these experiences if it means it won’t ever happen.
I also get grief if I ask to be included/tag along on the cheaper things so I can see my kids enjoying the experience they have planned. They bought a virgin experience involving cars for my daughter at Christmas and I asked to go watch and they are now being awkward with the date to make it work.