Saying no to my children having experiences without us?

I know the majority are disagreeing with OP but I'm honestly shocked that there are a fair number agreeing with her - parents who think it's fine to deny their kids opportunities just because they aren't invited, and who genuinely think their kids should be happy and grateful "playing in the park everyday" with their parents rather than having fun/educational/enriching experiences.

Given childfree people are usually stereotyped as being selfish it is a bit ironic!

Beautifully put x

Surely if the zoo trip was important to you, you’d have done it by now? The DCs are 7 and 9. If it’s one of those things that you keep putting off then I’d let your SIL take them.

There a disturbing number of people on this thread who seem to put their own needs/insecurities above their children’s.

What an amazing gift that your DC are being given the opportunity to have some wonderful experiences. Experiences build rounded individuals; everything we encounter deepens our understanding of the world, the people therein and, crucially, ourselves. I would love for my DC to have experiences which I am not able to grant them, whether for financial or logistical reasons, so as to facilitate their growth and development into becoming something which transcends and extends outside of what I'm able to offer them. I want my DC to outgrow me, not bind them to me by curtailing their range of experiences to the narrow confines of what I am capable of providing.

No I mean, if you become estranged from your children when they are older but they still.keep.in touch with aunty's and uncle.

So if you become estranged from your children you'd rather they had no contact with anyone at all?

That is bizarre.

Local zoo trip YANBU. Trips and experiences you cannot give your children and take from them YABU. Not sure why you focussed negativity on SIL rather than your brother.

And any inheritance my siblings want to throw my dcs way will gladly be accepted.

Says the one resorting to insults 🤣🤣

No they can spend time with my children, as a family, which includes me. They don’t get to borrow

You would never let your siblings spend time with your dc without you being there? Wild!

I better go and tell my aunt (who can no longer afford the things she used to do with us) she owes me some expensive holidays (I've always wanted to go to Disney...) and for the back payment on my university fees 🤣

And some posters could have done with being taught a bit of compassion

Where is your compassion for numptys?

#numptysneedlovetoo

I never said you did

My friend’s eldest daughter had a childfree godmother. Over the years godmother would take girl to theatre shows (shared interest) and was always interested in her life. She gifted her a significant sum as a house deposit (had saved since she was a baby for her). My friend was grateful for their relationship and blown away by the generosity.
If I take my guides away I’m in loco parentis. I enjoy seeing them happy and experiencing new things (one of reasons I volunteer). I take lots of photos and will tell parents how well they have behaved etc. It would be no different me taking a niece.

OMG so you let your kids miss out because you don’t want to miss out yourself. Yes it’s incredibly selfish.

I recently stayed at home whilst my kids went camping for a week with my partner. We take a week off all together as a family but then my partner and I take a week off separately to share the holiday childcare. I massively felt I missed out staying at home working but why should I ‘not allow’ it when then results in my kids missing out

Yes like replying to numptys on mumsnet

🤣🤣🤣

And some posters could have done with being taught a bit of compassion

Overnight safari stays are not the mainstay of being a good aunt and uncle

I never said it did

Some posters on here could have done with auntie input!

@UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld my aunt was really good at helping me see things rationally.

Please don't joke about this 😆. For many of us who were wfh with toddlers during Covid, the phrase "making memories" is genuinely triggering.

Possible....but very dystopian!!!

I had a childless uncle and aunt with considerable more money than my parents and grandparents. They used to take out my brother and me and/or buy us nice things several times a year and that has gone on for all our lives until they passed. I have fond memories of the times spent together, the experiences we had, how happy I was to be taken out and treated to toys/sweets I was overwise denied. They not only had more money to take us places, but they gave us their time, their full attention. It was lovely to feel spoiled and loved so deeply.

This said, our parents were also amazing and loved us very much, in a standard parenting way! We were and are a happy family. But there was and is no comparison in roles. The uncle/aunt never 'took over', our parents remained our parents. The uncle/aunt were just enriching our lives as we did theirs, just extended family love. We stayed very close till they passed, and so were our parents.
We never ever considered choosing them over our parents only because they were buying us nice things! Honestly... if you even consider this as a possibility there are way bigger issues than this to discuss....

Yes like replying to numptys on mumsnet

Overnight safari stays are not the mainstay of being a good aunt and uncle

There’s enough naughty spoilt children in this world and I won’t let mine be one of them

I think you have other things to worry about..,