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Original poster

How many clubs is too many? (Lighthearted)

86 replies

dontcomeatme · 23/07/2025 10:32

Inspired by nearly every thread I read. How many days a week is your DC in a club of some sort? My friend, for example, has 3 kids and they each do something nearly every night and they're all in different locations. So even though both parents drive, they need a grandparent and/or an aunt to help with clubs. Is this not excessive? 😬 Shouldn't kids learn to be bored or how to entertain themselves at home? I remember growing up we only attended a dance club on a Saturday morning, and my brother did football twice a week. However, we all had to get the bus to our clubs independently. The rest of the time we played outside, eating berries and playing stupid games. My oldest is only 2.5yo but I'm dreading the club phase if this is the expectation? What's it like in your household? Something every day or once a week? Also, how is everyone affording all the clubs 😭 my 2yo does swimming on a Saturday, none negotiable for the forseeable, but that's £40 a month already. We are on the wait list for Tumble Tots and that's another £40 pcm. We put their CB into their own accounts and that pays for their clubs. But we wouldn't be able to go over this amount!
YABU - Kids should go to clubs every day possible
YANBU - Once/twice a week is fine and doing one nearly every day is excessive and stressful for parents.
I would be worried multiple clubs like this sets an expectation on the child to think they need constant entertainment 😬 ain't nobody got time for that!

Ps. This post is not about wraparound care or after shool clubs for childcare purposes. My friends DC for example go to ballet, drama, gymnastics, brownies, rainbows, swimming, football, karate, and now violin lessons 🥴

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 23/07/2025 10:50

dontcomeatme · 23/07/2025 10:48

This seems like a great set up. Must be so much easier when they can get the bus/walk etc.

Show quote history

Am very excited for the time that my son can do some of it himself too! He's 9 now so counting down...

It's definitely a lot (my son has after school club 3x a week too) but we tried cutting him back and he is such high energy he was just bouncing off the walls. So we are just seeing how long we can make it work for him. The sunday morning football matches at horrible times in annoying locations is the massive problem but football would be the last thing he'd stop so we are trying to support him.

AvidJadeShaker · 23/07/2025 10:50

I had one DC who was doing 7 clubs at one point and kept signing himself up to do more (apparently I was like this too). The other DC did one club and that was pretty much because I insisted they do something.

Original poster
dontcomeatme · 23/07/2025 10:48

PurpleThistle7 · 23/07/2025 10:46

We don't have family around and have one car (and my husband travels for work sometimes) so everything has to be sorted within that structure. Still super busy though - my son has football 3x/week, taekwando 2x and swimming - plus a religious school every other weekend. My daughter has dance 4/5 times a week, but she's 12 so she can mostly get herself back and forth - just a few lifts a week. We can't make mondays work out so my son goes to football with a friend and we are very grateful to them for that.

My son thrives on being busy and really needs a lot going on. My daughter doesn't particularly so we restricted it a lot when she was younger but have loosened up this year as she got a place on the comp team for dance so that's another couple lessons a week. Since she can get herself to most of it (we don't let her walk home after dark on her own) it's just the cost of it to manage, and she chose to only have dance lessons this year instead of presents for her birthday and Christmas.

This seems like a great set up. Must be so much easier when they can get the bus/walk etc.

OP posts:
Aliksa · 23/07/2025 10:47

We did more with dc1 as without a sibling playmate I worried she would be bored.

Dc2 is 7 and he does two sports clubs, swimming and next year he’ll pick up drama, art, and dodgeball at school (more fun than after school club).

He also has hobbies: chess, a drop-in climbing club with a friend from time to time and MTB/ cyclocross (his favourites), skateboarding.

This seems like plenty but I know kids who do a lot more - seems like a lot of parents want their kids to learn Spanish or coding at a very young age!

Original poster
dontcomeatme · 23/07/2025 10:47

Dramatic · 23/07/2025 10:43

4 kids, two are late teenagers so have no clubs (they never enjoyed sports anyway and were happy with brownies/guides when they were younge) one 13yo who does cadets twice a week and theatre club once a week. 5yo does dance 3 times a week and gymnastics once a week so we have clubs every week night and one on a Saturday morning. It is a lot and the extra dance classes kind of snuck up on us because she was invited to do comps. However, if we couldn't manage it ourselves we wouldn't do it. I will always try and facilitate their interests if I can though.

I suppose that's the top and bottom of it isn't it. If you can manage the extra pick ups and drops offs without help then it's not an issue!
Yeah those extra dance classes are a pain 😏 my sister had to do the same when she started comps.

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 23/07/2025 10:46

We don't have family around and have one car (and my husband travels for work sometimes) so everything has to be sorted within that structure. Still super busy though - my son has football 3x/week, taekwando 2x and swimming - plus a religious school every other weekend. My daughter has dance 4/5 times a week, but she's 12 so she can mostly get herself back and forth - just a few lifts a week. We can't make mondays work out so my son goes to football with a friend and we are very grateful to them for that.

My son thrives on being busy and really needs a lot going on. My daughter doesn't particularly so we restricted it a lot when she was younger but have loosened up this year as she got a place on the comp team for dance so that's another couple lessons a week. Since she can get herself to most of it (we don't let her walk home after dark on her own) it's just the cost of it to manage, and she chose to only have dance lessons this year instead of presents for her birthday and Christmas.

Original poster
dontcomeatme · 23/07/2025 10:44

HeadWall · 23/07/2025 10:39

Honestly, it depends on your family and depends on your DC. I have one who goes to one activity Monday, Tuesday, Thurs and Fri and two on a Wednesday. Plus learns a musical instrument, tournaments and concerts at the weekends. The other goes twice a week to something and doesn't have weekend commitments.

Both options are fine. I do think it's important to have an out of school activity, so they have friends who they're not with every day. If there are friendship issues in class, it's good for them to have somewhere without that.

Figure out what you think is reasonable, what you can afford, then offer your DC a choice of those activities.

100% agree with this. It does depend on the DC of course, and what you can manage. My issue would be making it fair, my OH works long hours and is barely home, so it's all on me, so if DC1 wanted to attend football on a Monday and DC2 wanted to attend drama also on a Monday, how do I make that fair without external family help, which we don't have. Very difficult to manage, let's just hope all my kids have hobbies that are miraculously held on different days 🤣

OP posts:
Dramatic · 23/07/2025 10:43

4 kids, two are late teenagers so have no clubs (they never enjoyed sports anyway and were happy with brownies/guides when they were younge) one 13yo who does cadets twice a week and theatre club once a week. 5yo does dance 3 times a week and gymnastics once a week so we have clubs every week night and one on a Saturday morning. It is a lot and the extra dance classes kind of snuck up on us because she was invited to do comps. However, if we couldn't manage it ourselves we wouldn't do it. I will always try and facilitate their interests if I can though.

AuntMarch · 23/07/2025 10:42

Mine does swimming (at 5.30 so a decent break after school first), and will start Beavers in September.

HeadWall · 23/07/2025 10:39

Honestly, it depends on your family and depends on your DC. I have one who goes to one activity Monday, Tuesday, Thurs and Fri and two on a Wednesday. Plus learns a musical instrument, tournaments and concerts at the weekends. The other goes twice a week to something and doesn't have weekend commitments.

Both options are fine. I do think it's important to have an out of school activity, so they have friends who they're not with every day. If there are friendship issues in class, it's good for them to have somewhere without that.

Figure out what you think is reasonable, what you can afford, then offer your DC a choice of those activities.

LadyDanburysHat · 23/07/2025 10:36

If they can't manage it between both parents then it is too many. I have 3 DC, they all did different clubs, but we always ensured at least one weeknight with nothing. And a Sunday free too.