How many clubs is too many? (Lighthearted)

This^

Because DH has always been away a lot, mine were limited by what I could physically do.

Our schedule for next year...

Monday... free
Tuesday Cubs (DD1 Young Leader, me Leader)
Wednesday DD2 Scouts
Thursday DD1 Explorers
Friday DD2 Rugby
Saturday DD1 Climbing
Sunday DD2 Rugby (but not every week)
Then they have clubs at school up to 4 days a week... next term that 3 days of Musical rehearsals plus Badminton for DD1.

The most intense we had was when they were in Cubs/Scouts, plus swimming lessons, plus DD2s rugby.

We did loads of clubs and only had 1 day a week free, then stripped it back. Now we only have 2 clubs per child. I feel like clubs these days are a bit of a "keeping up with the Jones's" in some instances... People get fomo/anxiety if their child doesn't try some extreme combination of gymnastics/dance/martial arts/football/rugby/scouting etc... "How could poor Lily miss out on the opportunity to try gymnastics, just like Evelyn" 😆

Mine are all SN and not the joining type so only things they were desperately interested in.

Most of my friends dc went to all the after school clubs but that's as much additional childcare as anything else and actually made life easier in terms of pick ups.

Mine got harder as they got older because the classes started later, ds in particular had to join an adult class at 14 because of his size and that's 8-10pm.

Cost and time wise I do think it's sensible to keep an eye on their interests and encourage the ones you're going to be able to keep up- my dd got into horses which ends up being a very expensive every day and all weekend thing, I should have encouraged art but I thought she needed more fresh air!

Most parents encourage some kind of sports club out if school - usually swimming because pretty much everyone accepts that your child isn’t going to learn to swim with the school lessons alone and also other sports because frankly the more you tire them out the better they sleep and the more peace you get.

stuff like brownies and cubs is also good for building independence outside school and doing the first overnight trips, working towards badges etc.

and the payoff for all this comes when they are pre-teens or teens and are doing sport or cadets or music rather than gaming and watching porn.

We have too many:

Child 1 (10) - swimming, drama, piano, athletics, tutoring

Child 2 (7) - swimming, drama, piano, trampolining, Brownies, tutoring

Child 3 (2) - football

We're at clubs 7 days a week, both work and no family to help. But I see the huge benefit to the kids.

Oh and we did swimming lessons for years - now that I hated!

It’s full on but sometimes is a necessity for childcare. It’s also better than being at home gaming etc.

My DS just left year 6 and did 5 clubs - scouts, football, drumming lessons, a school PE type club and a science one. Meant he had an opportunity to see friends without me organising loads of play dates and obviously exercise is good for him.

DD just left year 8 and only does two art clubs and a language one after school. She’s more independent organising time with her friends so less pressure, she’s also dropped all sports she used to love which is a shame.

Driving them around for their various social life and club events is exhausting but I think it’s worth it.

My DC, who are now in their 20s, didn't go to many clubs. One did Scouts for about 3 years, and had instrumental lessons but that was within school time, one did Army Cadets for... maybe about 3 months. One had swimming lessons out of school hours for about 6 months but that was because they were really bad at swimming and it felt like a safety issue, not because we micromanage them or can't say no to them. Both went to a nature related club that met once a month between the ages of about 9 and 12. They sometimes did one-off activity days during the long summer holidays and one once went to a 5-day martial arts camp. Other than that, they just pursued their own interests on their own or with friends. They are not particularly sociable people (and I think forcing them to join more clubs would have made them uncomfortable rather than caused them to be more sociable). If they had been more sociable and had been passionate about joining more clubs I think I would have restricted it to 2 each per week, on the grounds of cost and because I think they do need to learn to make their own amusements (transport wouldn't have been a problem as we lived within 10 minutes' walk of both their primary and secondary school, where most of these activities took place, and within easy walking or bussing distance of the others). I feel a bit sorry for children who go to clubs nearly every day, even if they seem to enjoy them, because they're not getting the experience of doing more freestyle, unstructured stuff and they're probably not seeing that much of their parents either.

4 kids
eldest 2 nights a week for one club. She makes her own way there. We just collect her as it’s 9.30pm finish
next one does guides one night and swimming lessons. Wants to join eldest club at end of year.
my 3rd just does swimming lessons. He’s not found anything he likes.
youngest does 1 club plus swimming lessons.

we currently have Fridays and weekends free

I think it's fine for parents to chose the set up that best suits their dc and family, and you should probably judge your friend less.

No one is going to make you do the same!

I remember running around taking the dc to clubs a few days a week - there were activities they wanted to try and I think it was good for them to get a chance to try out some different sports and other hobbies. After a while they could decide which ones they most valued. But I know that just because it suited us, doesn't mean it would suit everyone.

2DC

Both do a mental health related art club.
Both do a guide/scout family club
One does music
Both do swimming
One does football (training and matches)

So 4-5 clubs each per week. Its exhausting for all of us, but they enjoy them all so not sure what we would cut out.

DS10 does swimming and maths tutoring
DS7 does swimming and beavers

Swimming is a non negotiable until they finish stage 6. After that they can give up if they want to but have to pick another extra curricular. DS10 isn’t too far away from that but I think he will opt to continue. DS7 is several years away. At the moment neither of them want to do anything else. In some ways I wish they would develop more interests but they are happy to play at home. In other ways it’s easier if they don’t because I’m a single parent and logistics of getting them places can be tricky.

My 5 year old does two clubs a week, both after school. We like to keep weekends free for days out as a family and with friends, or to be able to go away somewhere for the weekend. I wouldn’t like her to do much more after school as there’s often things going on with school like discos and seasonal fairs, and often park trips and play dates with her school friends too and it would be sad for her to miss out. She has a nice balance now with her activities and friends in those, and then her school friends and school life.

Came on assuming this was about Club biscuits and was going to say about 6...

It kind of crept up on us. Don’t feel a lot when only 1 child was doing an activity but then add in DC2 and DC3 and suddenly it’s a lot more. Also the intensity of the activities increases- so they may do rugby once a week which is manageable when they’re little but as they progress it’s 2 trainings a week plus match and then they get selected for regional team and that’s another training and then school team etc. So it kind of all escalates!
It is tough having so many activities but the kids love it. I definitely wouldn’t make them do anything they didn’t want to.

I am feeling this because my two are very active. But sometimes we have to say no to a club for one child because of the other one's commitments which seems hard on them, especially if it's something they really want to do. For example DS used to go to a sports club which clashed with a new session that had opened up for DD on a week night where her main practice was Sat morning. So we had to say no to her as they are both a car journey and we only have one car.