How many clubs is too many? (Lighthearted)

@Lightcheese yes, my dc have often finished a club but dc are still in after school club.

Why is it too much if they can’t manage it just between both parents?
we have 4 dc who all do something most nights, we’ve organised taking turns with other kids at their clubs, pay a babysitter and swap favours with family and friends to manage it all.

My eldest does a club 7 days a week, but 3 weeknights are just at her school premises, so no ferrying around. We live a 5 min walk from school and no wraparound childcare needed, so they get home before 4.30pm and get more time at home than kids in wraparound care until 6pm. Those school based clubs only run for 10 weeks a term too, so quite short terms. The other clubs we need to take them to and it's a bigger time commitment, but they learn good skills and it's worth it. My youngest is just starting school in September and will be doing 7 clubs. We would only ever do as much as we can manage between DH and I. I would not want to be depending on GPs to ferry around. Clubs will reduce naturally as eldest gets older and closer to 11+ prep and gets a tutor.

Growing up we couldn't afford to go to clubs and we all managed to grow up unscathed. Going to things every night must be knackering for the kids. They do need rest as wel

I went to scouts, youth club, dance, piano & swimming as a dc. I loved it.

I think that the constant clubs every night probably adds to the anxiety that alot of young people seem to have now. Though the parents say they don't have to do them, the child might feel like they can't give it up, especially if it's an expensive one that's non refundable. I know I'd have felt like that if I'd have been in that position.

My DD (also 2) does swimming once a week and "gymnastics" (glorified softplay at this age 😂) - tbh I only signed her up for gymnastics because there weren't any toddler groups near me on Fridays and we needed something to get us out of the house, otherwise I'd just take her to a toddler group. It didn't work out much more expensive than taking her to softplay every week and it is a bit more fun than softplay as she likes the trampolines etc (even though she's godawful at them lol)

My rough plan (that will probably get chucked out the window anyway) for when she's older is that she needs to continue swimming at least until the point she's competent, but can continue longer if she wants. I will also sign her up for Rainbows/Brownies/etc because it's a walkable distance from our house and good for making friends etc, and relatively cheap. She can have one additional hobby if she really wants to, but I'm not going to push it. If she finds something she really likes and it's not a pain in the arse to get to or obscenely expensive (absolutely no horses) then she can do it. I'm hoping she enjoys gymnastics and wants to keep doing that as the school she'll be going to do an after school gymnastics club on school grounds which is effectively like childcare + club combined in one, as they go and take the children directly from their classroom to the club and then you just pick them up when they're done!

I always read these threads and it makes me laugh that kids these days can't be without all these expensive activities. Growing up we couldn't afford to go to clubs and we all managed to grow up unscathed. Going to things every night must be knackering for the kids. They do need rest as well

Or, you can force them into YOUR hobby so you can all do that together! Like a couple of parents I know, the kids don’t really enjoy tennis, or horse riding, but go they must!

Too many to me is when your rushing about like a lunatic, kids haven’t had time to go home for a pee/snack and your just flying from place to place, and your kids can’t accept an invitation to go to a friends house as they are always fully booked. We would do a max of 2 a week, then a day of nothing, day to have friend round/go to friends etc.

one mum I know was always complaining her daughter didn’t have any friends, but when people tried to invite her to play, she could never come as she went to SO many clubs, it was sad.

I have a 4 and 7yr old. Both do swimming which is absolutely non negotiable for us. My eldest does Beavers and karate as well and my youngest is on the waiting list for squirrels. The eldest only started karate a couple of months ago and the plan is for the youngest to choose a third activity at around the same age when the time comes. That is absolutely more than enough as they do all their clubs after school as we want to keep weekends clear from weekly commitments

DC7 does swimming, football, martial arts and rugby/cricket depending on the season. And is doing some tennis camp sessions over the holidays.

It does feel a lot at the moment but we're just encouraging him to try different things and see what he's good at, he enjoys them all but will have to make some decisions on what to drop over the next couple of years as you just can't fit everything in once you get older and training ramps up.

I have to do most of the club running around but we have a lot of our doorstep which makes a huge difference.

I feel like we have too many clubs but one of the reasons we stay in them is because everyone else is. His friends are always too busy for play dates & would never be never just to hang out at the village park.

From previous experience don’t start a club unless the child begs. Everything is more work for you. The only exception is learning to swim

And yes it's expensive!

Both of mine do an instrument, both do cubs/brownies, have had tutoring & then a variety of other things.

My DS (younger of two - 11) has lots of clubs - but you ask him if he wants to drop one and he never wants to!

Three sessions a week of swimming club makes it seem like more than it is.

He had a couple of school based ones that will go now he’s going to secondary, and which I was basically using as childcare - but I expect that he’ll want to pick up some secondary school ones!

It’s doable because my eldest (16) doesn’t need regular taking and dropping to any of her clubs, which are either at school, in our house (music lesson) or she can get there by herself.

Edit - also doable because two are right by our house and he walks by himself even if I’m at home

Fortunately mine generally like the same stuff so although they do a lot the logistical pain is a bit less. Gymnastics, tennis, athletics are all choices they've picked up, swimming is required until competent enough. They've started tagging along to fencing with me (makes my logistics easier not harder lol as I'd be going anyway) and both do violin as older was showing signs of being good at "everything" so I wanted her to learn the joys of persistence and practice...

Also they're nicer people when exercised more than school offers.

I think maybe it's the reluctance to stop that's causing the problem then? I think it's fine to do an activity for a while and then stop, the time hasn't been wasted! My dc no longer swim or ride, but I'm glad they can confidently do those activities when they want to. They no longer do ballet or music lessons, but those skills are definitely being used in their current interest in musical theatre.

Maybe it's about doing things a bit at a time so you don't get overwhelmed?

I agree with a pp when I say that there's a benefit when dc are a little older in them having hobbies they love. I shudder to think how much tiktok my 14yo would watch if she wasn't rehearsing for performances and helping out with younger dc at her youth club. But, they've always been the type of kid who likes to join in. It might not work for everyone.

Mine have gone through periods of doing something most days but that's with clubs at school too. Personally I like exposing them to as much as possible.

Thought this was going to be about Jacobs clubs

Was going to say 3 orange ones for me. I used to like the mint ones as a kid but now, bleugh!

Couple of nights a week was enough for me. Swimming plus one other; Brownies, gymnastics for a while, then drama. I was lucky that ballet and music lessons happened at school, so didn't need to add those in. Also lucky that DS would rather die than run around after a ball.

I have always said no more than x2 clubs at once for DC, as I work full time. One of those has to be swimming as it’s an essential life skill but once they’ve learnt to swim if they want to stop free to take up another.
if I can’t afford it then it’s a no.
if it’s too frequent and they can’t get there themself as they get older, that’s a no (unless they are insanely talented and it’s a potential career etc)
I want to have a life and see friends also so can’t be here there and everywhere