How many clubs is too many? (Lighthearted)

I thought you meant Jacobs orange club biscuits. I was going to say one is no good because you just want more, two is great, three is perfect and four is too much.

Aged 5 and 6 mine did 14 activities plus both learned the piano and oldest was learning the cornet.
Thankfully we moved and I didn’t allow it to get so high again.

My DDs used to be at clubs or activities four nights a week… it was exhausting! Music, art, swimming, trampolining and on and on … and then one day I just said enough and didn’t renew all the subscriptions. And we lived happily every after 😂

We have nobody near to help, refuse to do activities on a weekend so we can protect family time and I work until at least 5.30 so logistics are not easy but one of my kids does 9 different activities after school and music lessons in school 😂 it’s a bit much so we are dropping 2 in September and another 1 after Christmas. Another of my kids does only 2 ‘fun’ activities and after school club twice a week. Which is probably not enough so we’re looking at another club for them.

Honestly? The number of clubs is up to you. The only thing is that if you are reliant on someone else being able to help out then it might bite you. I remember a thread where someone’s SIL had signed her children up to the same club on the expectation that the poster would take that child with her own … and the poster was cross about it.

What is awkward is when you have decided that, if anything, your child should drop an activity and a friend whose children do even more clubs tries to convince you to sign him / her up for an extra one (within earshot of your child). It’s a delicate business, making it clear that you really can’t fit ice climbing and llama racing in as well without conveying that you think her children are absurdly overscheduled.

Depends on the child. Mine does the same hobby 6 days a week. He begs me to go on the 7th (when it isn't running). Some kids would be exhausted by this. Totally relative.

Really depends on the child, I think. Mine is one who needs to be busy and active at all times, is very sociable, and never gets tired, so she does clubs because a) she loves them and b) for our sanity. Our next door neighbour's daughter is an introvert and very happy entertaining herself so doesn't do much. Very different children. As others have said, if they get into something the clubs ramp up quite quickly. Mine is 10 now and does:

Monday - swimming (club -drive to this)
Tuesday - piano lesson (at school), tutoring (temporary for 11+, drive to this)
Wednesday - nothing
Thursday - choir (at school), ballet, tap and street dance (at school), guides (very close to home, 2 min walk)
Friday - swimming (club - drive to this)
Saturday - musical theatre (very close to home, 5 min walk)

There are also swimming galas and musical theatre shows, dance exams, guide camps etc, so it does take up a fair amount of time and money. Luckily we only have one child as it wouldn't be manageable with another one doing the same. Luckily most are either at school directly before or after school, or a short walk from home.

She is leaning very much towards the performing arts so I can see her dropping swimming and piano by the time she starts secondary and concentrating on the singing/ dancing/ drama stuff.

We wanted to let her try out lots of things so she has done other clubs in the past (not all at the same time!) Swimming lessons were non-negotiable but now she swims for a club which takes up more time.

11yo DD1 has something 6 days a week (plus competitions once or twice a month on average), but it's actually only 2 sports with one of them taking just an hour once a week. Unfortunately, if they fall in love with a time-consuming sport and then do quite well at it, even 'just one extracurricular' can turn into quite a beast. On the cost front, her main sport is actually very reasonable with her 8hrs/wk costing just under double what the 30mins/wk cost us in the early days (comps, specialist equipment/clothing, and the extra food needed are obviously more on top of this, however...).
It also doesn't affect the time I get to spend with her too much as I volunteer with the club. Parents tend to car pool too, so with a bit of networking and reciprocating the taxi-ing can be massively reduced.

9yo DD2 does the same 2 hobbies as her sister, but for her this currently equals 3hrs and 3 days a week (with 2 of these hours and locations matching DD1's). She also does Cubs on top of this, which takes her to 4.5hrs/week over 4 days, plus comps for one of her sports 5 times a year (which her sister will also attend). There is only 1 day where they need to be at different locations at the same time, so it's very manageable between me and DH.

DS7 only has one club which is swimming. Unfortunately everything is a bit of a drive from us (swimming is a 1 hour round trip) so options are limited. There are a few kids I know who seem to do lots of clubs but it looks exhausting with all the travel on top. DS isn't really interested in anything else at the moment, although I'd be open to a local activity in the week if something comes up.

<goes back to the golf threads>

What happened to the fruit clubs, in the purple wrapper with the raisins in them? I miss them and can't find them anywhere...

Back to the thread and it seems my children are woefully short of clubs compared to others. My son is ND, has tried cricket club, kick boxing and karate- but doesn't stick to them. He does attend homework club straight after school three days a week though.
My daughter does Pony club once a fortnight and choir once a week.

I don't have the time or energy for doing something every evening though.

Every damn night. And weekend. And holiday camps. She could never be busy enough. I feel like I'm unemployed now she's gone to uni, and a year on, still see a long bath as a treasured luxury.

Luckily the other one is bone idle and just goes to a youth club once a week. Funnily enough, he manages to walk to it and not pester me for chauffeuring.

We said no a lot more when my daughter was younger but now I see a huge benefit to her being busy now that she's in high school. Otherwise she'd just come home and faff around and high school is a lot less physically active than primary school so it's just a lot of sitting. Now she has loads of time to do whatever she wants with friends, but she also has 1-2 hours of dance most evenings so she's physically fit and busy enough.

My son... he just hates being on his own, is super social and loves running around. He has playdates most weeks as well, but my husband and I work full time so he's at after school club anyway. It's not like he'd have the time for playdates on weekdays with or without football, no one is having playdates at 7pm. so I'm happy for his sake for him to be busy - it's more the stress on us that's the issue sometimes.

As many overexcited first time parents (feeling guilty of working full time) we signed baby/toddler DS up for several different activities at weekend: swimming, rugby, football, athletics.... Benefits: zero. Our DS was already in a social setting 5 days a week full time and didn't need any extra socialization. And those early classes don't really teach any super valuable skills. It's really just for parents!

After the toddler years, we only signed him up for 'regular' swimming lessons (no parents in water type) and after he started school we gradually added extra curricular activities. They are run by clubs on the school premises and only last 45 minutes at the end of a school day. We started with one on the second term, than two, then three as he loved them, it was a great way to stay active and it was convenient for us to pick him up a bit later.

Now he's a little bit older he's still swimming once a week at weekend, he goes to 2-3 extra curricular activities at school and we take him to two other clubs during the week.

my kids do one club each - football and drama.

DD does kickboxing, but she only got into it because me and her dad do it. I would love DS to be interested too when he’s a bit older… but he’s a lover not a fighter. They get one club each, and they have to stick at it for 6 months minimum. That was my mum’s rule and I actually think it’s pretty good so I stole it. I did have to do 6 months of dance which I hated, but it taught me perseverance and also that I’m shit at dancing.

We do swimming, but that’s for my peace of mind, I don’t care if they like it or not they need to swim. I couldn’t swim till I was an adult and I don’t want that for them.

Maybe we are awful parents but I can’t be doing ferrying two (soon to be three) kids about to loads of clubs.

My kids did quite a lot, because they wanted to. I did a lot of dropping off, picking up but I didn’t sit and watch, unless I had to. I’d usually go for a run in the time I was free. I didn’t join WhatsApp’s or get involved in every fixture, match, game, gala’s, concerts or recitals. It worked and doesn’t last forever.

I also prioritised their stuff over mine, house stuff, going out and eating out to be able to afford it. It all cost a lot and I wasn’t earning a great wage.

I think when they are younger they can end up doing a lot. Mine all used to have something most nights. We wanted to give them the opportunity to try lots of different stuff. They are older now and have each stuck with two things.

It depends on the age of the child and what the activities are. The younger the child, the more tired they will be after school. We underestimate just how much mental energy small developing minds consumes. When parents refer to the child having “so much energy at the end of the day” it usually means they are overtired.

How energetic are the activities? Do the activities compliment each other e.g., dance and piano playing? Distance travelled to get there? Are there other expectations on the parents e.g., after to help with the clean up?

As PPs have expressed, we live in a society of constant busy-ness and pressure to perform/be part of the crowd. Sometimes it all too much and somewhere we have to say no for the child and our own sake.

We’ve limited our DD(6) to three activities per week. One of which is mandatory where we live. She is massively social and would have playdates every day if I let her but she needs downtime. By Friday she is usually super tired!

Whatever works for your family. Peak clubs seemed to be yr4, for us. I think they want to try things out. They get more selective when they find out what they like. We've always managed to keep Sundays free and one evening at the least, and some things just meant staying at school for an hour, pick up at 4:15.

It went a bit nuts at one point though, I resorted to writing up a schedule pinned on the wall of who has what club where and when every evening! But some of the activities were DH/me. We said no more clubs unless you drop something. It seems to be calming down now for my eldest, who is going into yr6. She just does violin and scouts really now. I want her to pick up a sport too. I think an instrument, a sport and a social club feel like things that will keep her occupied and out of mischief as she gets older 😆