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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

484 replies

alleoindup · 23/07/2025 07:31

It was his sisters birthday party last weekend but her birthday is today. I work Mondays & Tuesdays so was going to open the presents today. Came downstairs and he’s opened every single one, destroying some in the process (like tearing colouring books and tearing the boxes some of the puzzles etc came in.)

I’m finding it hard to even look at him to be honest: I know I’m probably overreacting but I really am upset.

So I don’t get accused of drip feeding I am struggling anyway and this has just depressed the hell out of me.

OP posts:
Original poster
alleoindup · 23/07/2025 15:47

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:43

There is anger, and there is 'cant stand to look at you' anger. The latter is entirely disproportionate for the situation being discussed, and makes me worry for the OPs kids.

Show quote history

You don’t give a hoot about my kids or anybody’s. I can see you. What you want to do is pretend to worry about them to try to upset me. Give up.

OP posts:
Leaveswoods · 23/07/2025 15:47

alleoindup · 23/07/2025 15:45

MN should make it a rule that if you’re going to say you feel sorry for a posters children that you should donate to a reputable children’s charity. Most people who say this don’t give a shit about children; they just enjoy saying things they think will wound. It doesn’t work with me. My children are from an affluent, stable and happy background. They are more fortunate than probably ninety five percent of the children born on the same day as them. They will not know poverty, homelessness, family breakdowns, underachievement or issues relating to addiction and poor mental health. If you feel sorry for children in that position, donate now to a charity. School holidays started here today. I’m sure your local food bank will happily accept your donation given your concern for children.

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Get a grip! If you don’t like the responses then don’t post!

MassiveBackstory · 23/07/2025 15:46

Barnbrack · 23/07/2025 15:41

But he didn't go down of his own accord, she knew he'd gone down, cots stairhates etc unrelated

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Ah yes, sorry, you’re right, she was more aware of his whereabouts than suggested in my (obviously flippant) post. That counts against her how?

Cherrytree86 · 23/07/2025 15:45

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:43

There is anger, and there is 'cant stand to look at you' anger. The latter is entirely disproportionate for the situation being discussed, and makes me worry for the OPs kids.

Show quote history

@ExercicenformedeZ

whats so bad about Op not looking at him for him
a bit? Presumably also she had to clear up his mess and get sorted for his sister so wouldn’t have had a lot of time on her hands to look at him!

Original poster
alleoindup · 23/07/2025 15:45

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:40

She needs emotional regulation. Her response was out of proportion and I'm sorry for her children if this is what a minor setback makes her feel.

Show quote history

MN should make it a rule that if you’re going to say you feel sorry for a posters children that you should donate to a reputable children’s charity. Most people who say this don’t give a shit about children; they just enjoy saying things they think will wound. It doesn’t work with me. My children are from an affluent, stable and happy background. They are more fortunate than probably ninety five percent of the children born on the same day as them. They will not know poverty, homelessness, family breakdowns, underachievement or issues relating to addiction and poor mental health. If you feel sorry for children in that position, donate now to a charity. School holidays started here today. I’m sure your local food bank will happily accept your donation given your concern for children.

OP posts:
ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:43

Cherrytree86 · 23/07/2025 15:41

@ExercicenformedeZ

why can’t she feel angry? It’s a normal human emotion.

Show quote history

There is anger, and there is 'cant stand to look at you' anger. The latter is entirely disproportionate for the situation being discussed, and makes me worry for the OPs kids.

Everintroverte · 23/07/2025 15:43

OP I would have been furious too, he's old enough to know that he was wrong. Think you have dealt with the issue well.

Some of the comments on here are nuts.

Cherrytree86 · 23/07/2025 15:41

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:40

She needs emotional regulation. Her response was out of proportion and I'm sorry for her children if this is what a minor setback makes her feel.

Show quote history

@ExercicenformedeZ

why can’t she feel angry? It’s a normal human emotion.

Barnbrack · 23/07/2025 15:41

MassiveBackstory · 23/07/2025 15:37

OP, you are being roundly gaslit on this thread. I would feel exactly the same. I have not one but two 4yos (plus a 7yo) and I am fully confident that they are capable of the knowledge, social skills and impulse control not to do this. Therefore they would get an appropriate level of angry response and an appropriate consequence from me. And as for his having been downstairs without you, f* that for a laugh, where are all these MNers finding these extremely robust cots, stair gates and playpens that they seem to be using up til statutory full time education? Never seen them in John Lewis.

But he didn't go down of his own accord, she knew he'd gone down, cots stairhates etc unrelated

Original poster
alleoindup · 23/07/2025 15:41

You’re not getting away with that @ExercicenformedeZ . You know perfectly well where most adults are on a weekday at half past three.

Did you want me to say he’s left the family unit and left me a bitter and angry woman? Sorry to disappoint but it’s really not that exciting.

Now, what have I done that is so traumatising and awful that MNetters would jump to a four year old girls defence? Still waiting.

OP posts:
ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:40

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 23/07/2025 15:38

She was angry, got over it, dealt with the incident. What more do you want?

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She needs emotional regulation. Her response was out of proportion and I'm sorry for her children if this is what a minor setback makes her feel.

Cherrytree86 · 23/07/2025 15:39

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:38

No, you haven't. Are you in a relationship or not?

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@ExercicenformedeZ

how is this relevant?

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 23/07/2025 15:39

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:37

Where is your partner? You haven't answered the pertinent question.

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He ran away with the circus. Happy?

rainbowstardrops · 23/07/2025 15:39

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:30

Ok. I wonder if people would be so validating to the OP if the offending child were female.

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What the fuck had that got to do with it?! The kid did something really mean to their sibling. My response that I posted earlier, would have been the same whether the offender was a girl or a boy.
Why do some people have to look way too deep into things?
The kid was out of order. He happened to be a boy. If he’d been a girl, ‘she’ would have still been out of order!

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 23/07/2025 15:38

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:21

You said that you ' couldn't look at him'. That is a highly disproportionate level of anger and contempt to direct at a four year old. Where is the kids' father in all this?

Show quote history

She was angry, got over it, dealt with the incident. What more do you want?

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:38

alleoindup · 23/07/2025 15:37

Yes, I have. Now answer my pertinent question.

Show quote history

No, you haven't. Are you in a relationship or not?

Original poster
alleoindup · 23/07/2025 15:37

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:37

Where is your partner? You haven't answered the pertinent question.

Show quote history

Yes, I have. Now answer my pertinent question.

OP posts:
MassiveBackstory · 23/07/2025 15:37

OP, you are being roundly gaslit on this thread. I would feel exactly the same. I have not one but two 4yos (plus a 7yo) and I am fully confident that they are capable of the knowledge, social skills and impulse control not to do this. Therefore they would get an appropriate level of angry response and an appropriate consequence from me. And as for his having been downstairs without you, f* that for a laugh, where are all these MNers finding these extremely robust cots, stair gates and playpens that they seem to be using up til statutory full time education? Never seen them in John Lewis.

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:37

alleoindup · 23/07/2025 15:33

What have I actually done that would make it so much worse if DS was a girl?

Not what I felt. Done.

Show quote history

Where is your partner? You haven't answered the pertinent question.

Cherrytree86 · 23/07/2025 15:36

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:33

No, they wouldn't. The misandry starts young on this site.

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@ExercicenformedeZ

Girl or boy, wouldn’t reduce the amount of extra hassle and inconvenience for Op would it

Original poster
alleoindup · 23/07/2025 15:33

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:30

Ok. I wonder if people would be so validating to the OP if the offending child were female.

Show quote history

What have I actually done that would make it so much worse if DS was a girl?

Not what I felt. Done.

OP posts:
ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:33

Cherrytree86 · 23/07/2025 15:31

@ExercicenformedeZ

um…yes. Girl or boy, wouldn’t reduce the amount of extra hassle and inconvenience for Op would it

Edited
Show quote history

No, they wouldn't. The misandry starts young on this site.

Cherrytree86 · 23/07/2025 15:31

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:30

Ok. I wonder if people would be so validating to the OP if the offending child were female.

Show quote history

@ExercicenformedeZ

um…yes. Girl or boy, wouldn’t reduce the amount of extra hassle and inconvenience for Op would it

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:30

Cherrytree86 · 23/07/2025 15:25

@ExercicenformedeZ

yes, it’s terrible isn’t it. Op should have given him
a big smile and a cuddle. Why didn’t you do that? @alleoindup ?

Show quote history

Ok. I wonder if people would be so validating to the OP if the offending child were female.

ExercicenformedeZ · 23/07/2025 15:28

alleoindup · 23/07/2025 15:23

Where do you think he might be, at half three on a weekday?

At the back? Anyone?

Wait a minute, I thought all this happened in the morning? Now you're saying it was half three in the afternoon? What actually happened here?

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