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Original poster

To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

484 replies

alleoindup · 23/07/2025 07:31

It was his sisters birthday party last weekend but her birthday is today. I work Mondays & Tuesdays so was going to open the presents today. Came downstairs and he’s opened every single one, destroying some in the process (like tearing colouring books and tearing the boxes some of the puzzles etc came in.)

I’m finding it hard to even look at him to be honest: I know I’m probably overreacting but I really am upset.

So I don’t get accused of drip feeding I am struggling anyway and this has just depressed the hell out of me.

OP posts:
Original poster
alleoindup · 23/07/2025 07:40

I know - shouldn’t have left them out; he doesn’t normally go downstairs unaccompanied so assumed we were safe. Ofc this morning he did.

I get in the scheme of things it’s not that big a deal and DD still has most of the presents. But now I don’t know who gave what so will have to send out messages asking so I can say thanks. And it’s meant what should have been a nice morning has been with tears and upset instead.

OP posts:
44PumpLane · 23/07/2025 07:40

Who was with the 4yo while they were tearing through the gifts?

Had you told them in advance that the pile of gifts was not for them and it was to be left alone?

Behaviour is learned and at 4yo would they truly understand, without supervision, that a pile of gifts wasn't for them to tear into?

That last bit is a genuine question, with twins I've never had to deal with this as they celebrate their birthdays together, and I would have been downstairs before them at that age supervising.

GRex · 23/07/2025 07:40

4 is way past old enough to know this is very wrong. Is there a lot of sibling rivalry? How does she behave towards him? I would go for consequences of removing some favourite toys of his for a week, but you will need to work on the issues in their relationship before it gets worse.

I would rewrap what you can, bin what you can't so she doesn't see it, then take her out to buy extras later with some special birthday money.

Zanadoo45 · 23/07/2025 07:39

Why was a 4 year old on their own long enough to do this much damage?

Not being able to look at him is dramatic and way over the top.

The dynamic in your family sounds off. Very off.

zaxxon · 23/07/2025 07:38

Oh God that's annoying. Huge sympathy - I'd be furious. Don't blame yourself for feeling angry.

They get better as they get older, that's all I can say ...

Maddy70 · 23/07/2025 07:38

I would be majorly pissed off too. Cab you re wrap then quickly how old is the birthday girl? Will she even notice?

Hercisback1 · 23/07/2025 07:37

How old is his sister?

Honestly at 4 they have little impulse control. However he knows what he did is wrong. I'd have got up with the kids or hidden the presents. You can't turn back time, in a few years it'll be a story you laugh at. Right now it's raw.

Behindthefacade · 23/07/2025 07:36

YANBU to feel irritated at the moment however, given sibling is 4y, find a way to make it clear he should not do it again then I would let it go if this is a one-off.

starpatch · 23/07/2025 07:35

I know it's frustrating but I would have had to have hidden them when I had a four year old. He will have known this would upset you both though. Do you have spare wrapping paper to rewrap them?

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