To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

I think most four year olds wouldn't have the restraint not to open a load of presents. I remember opening someone else's presents when I was that age - and my mum told a story of when she did too age four at Christmas!

Really, you shouldn't have left him alone with them. At that age their brains haven't developed impulse control so personally I think you dropped the ball and should learn from this - you need to hide presents from very young children.

@alleoindup How are you now? Did you manage to have a good birthday day with your daughter and son?

Ignore the haters, you're clearly a great mum who's had a tricky time and this tipped you over the edge for a few seconds. I hope you're almost at the laughing about it stage.

Ok, dripped later, but where exactly you read she was asleep?

Four-year-olds vary in what they know and understand, and in their ability to control their behaviour based on that knowledge. By four my younger DD would have understood that opening someone else's presents was wrong, and would have self-regulated even in the face of temptation. My older DD at the same age had a more questionable understanding of right and wrong, and even when she did understand that something wasn't allowed, she often gave into temptation and took much longer to learn to control her in-the-moment desires. There's 18 months between them, and by the time they were 3 and 4 1/2, DD2 could more reliably be trusted not to draw on the walls etc when they were left alone. DD1 wasn't brainless or clueless and she got there eventually but it was a hard slog.

What does op being affluent or not has any relevance to this thread?

Try not to stress about random strangers on the internet.

In response to your original question, I was one of the posters who thought you were over-reacting. You're not by any means the first mum who's over-reacted to a child's behaviour: we've all done it at some point (don't believe anyone who says different). As I said earlier, your disappointment and upset are perfectly understandable, and beating yourself up about them isn't going to help. What will help is acknowledging your anger, reminding yourself very firmly that you're the adult here and your four-year-old is a small child with poor impulse control who gave in to temptation. Your job is to help him learn that control. You do that by (re)explaining to him why what he did was wrong and giving and seeing through with a consequence for his behaviour. Yes, he's old enough to know better, and yes, he's young enough to forget himself when temptation is in front of him. Four-year-olds aren't great at thinking things through, it takes time and practice.

Of course your children aren't better off without you. All you've done is over-react to your small child's misbehaviour. It's not ideal parenting, but it's a long way short of damaging. Give your child a consequence, then forgive him and move on.

Not letting them watch tv unsupervised at 8 is extreme.

Seems like the poor OP can't win on here. If her DS didn't know it was wrong to open other people's gifts, that's her fault for not teaching him. If he did know and did it anyway, that's her fault for not preventing that possibility ahead of time. If she was angry and punished him, that's her fault for not controlling her feelings. If she was understanding and not harsh with him, that's her fault for perpetuating the entitled spoilt youth which plague our town centres etc etc

Basically, OP, what you need to do is be as perfect as some of the posters on this thread, with equally perfect children. Then you'll be golden.

One of mine came down in the night and opened everyone’s Christmas presents. I had no idea who received what from whom, let’s say the thank you letters were rather vague that year. We told the little ones the reindeer opened them. One day you might smile, give him a bit of a talk now and hide pressies in future. Kids!!!

Op, you are not in the slightest bit cruel! Seriously, in the real world people get pissed off with their kids for much less than this. You have done nothing wrong, hopefully he has learnt his lesson and won't do anything like this again. You have normal expectations of what a 4yo should know not to do, you are not daft for leaving the presents out, perfectly normal thing to do.

Definitely!!!

Think you are at fault here. Should have hidden them. Doesn't matter if he is 2 or 4. He is still at an impulse stage and finds it hard to navigate emotions. Some find it harder than others and him being 4 doesn't really matter. Could still have happened with a 5 or 6 year old if they felt jealous. So really it's on you as the parent not the child.

YANBU. My 3.5 yo wouldn't have done this and I would say she's a pretty typical preschooler. I'd be furious too.

And very ill prepared for secondary school as well, they’ll have to navigate getting there alone and to different classes and forms, when they’re still not allowed downstairs alone….. good god!

Aah OP, don't feel like they'd be better off without you, that's not true. Show a mum who hasn't gotten irritated by one of the kids and I'll show you a liar! Don't worry about it, your son misbehaved and you were annoyed, Jesus but haven't we all! Don't let the vipers get to you too much on here ❤️

@FortheloveofCheesus So your EIGHT year old kids are not "allowed" to go downstairs until you say so? No wonder people say the young generations are not developing resilience!

Your entire post reeks of smugness to be honest, as if you were just trying to make the OP feel bad.

@FortheloveofCheesus

why ever not?! In a couple of years they’ll be off to secondary school!

I think it is easily done that kids can access presents before they are meant to. The only way we got around it when ours were tiny was to either keep the presents in our room or one year we had an enormous white goods box which we decorated with wrapping paper and put all the presents inside. The kids were too short to get into it until we helped them, which stopped them opening them early.
Its not unreasonable to be upset/angry about it but probably more at yourself for the fact that it happened than at your son, who probably has no impulse control at that age. Probably best to tell him in no uncertain terms that what he did was wrong and out it behind you.

You weren’t unreasonable to feel how you felt when you saw what he did OP.

Glad you had a nice day in the end

Ignore the nitpickers, the bullies, the posters seemingly obsessed with ‘impulse control’ they are bored on this rainy day

Hope DS has realised what he did wrong. At the age he is he will definitely know he shouldn’t have done this, and it’s fine that he’s not constantly attached to you at home.

I’ve been reading this thread throughout the day and find some of the replies ridiculous, its seems to have been a competition as to who can write the most twattish reply

Okay but let’s be real, if they weren’t where he could get them there would be nothing to be pissed off about. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time and I can appreciate that this is icing on the cake.

No four is old enough to have a conversation and to understand. This is really bad,

I’ve reported that one, poster clearly has issues beyond this thread

Your poor kids

I know we shouldn't respond to trolls people on the wind up, but really... it's just so gross and having a real life negative effect on someone.