To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

Erm..well for a start he might have opened all the presents that weren't for him?

At 4 years I would have been able to trust my oldest on his own for a bit but definitely not my middle child!

Is he prone to these things? Does he act young for his age? Unfortunately I 100% agree with PPs - he needed to be watched and not on his own.... especially with presents lurking around.

Nope YANBU, that’s jealous behaviour and 4yr olds know not to by that age. Unless there’s some sort of SEN involved that would boil my blood.

There are at least two children. The OP presumably can't divide herself in two so there are bound to be times when one child is unattended. Maybe she should get a chain so she can attach the children to her at all times. <sarcasm font ON>

Sorry to hear this, OP. As others have said, this won't seem so bad with the passage of time, but it's not a good start to the day. Breathe deeply and try to get past it. Happy birthday to the little one.

Hello, totally understand the anger if things have been a bit rubbish lately for you, four is very young and this will definitely be a funny story (as others have said) you tell people. Big hugs - cup of tea? As to the thanks! Something very, VERY similar happened to me (and she was turning 5!!), and I just told other parents / relatives what had happened in the message asking what they had gifted, and I got messages of solidarity back, nobody minded and everyone thought it was hilarious!

I don't think I said that children need monitoring every second of every day. I'm a pretty chilled parent, but would be up with the kids on a birthday morning so that presents were opened by the right person. Up and about isn't "watching like a hawk", it's being aware that children are awake and popping your head in every few mins (longer if older).

I'm sure OP would have said if she'd accidentally slept in. Or if she did, she'll be frustrated with herself, adding to her annoyance with the situation.

Honestly the narrative regarding the child being unsupervised downstairs is insane. Why does this type of shit always have to come up on threads here, it’s besides the point and incredibly stupid and unhelpful.

I would feel just like you OP!

But logically, he's really just a baby himself, with poor impulse control and limited ability to understand the impact of his actions on others.

I would sit by myself, breathe and then get on with the day!

In 10 years + you will be relaying this is a funny story but yes right now I can imagine you are cross and frustrated. Go make a cup of tea, get him to help you tidy up and fetch bits to re wrap the things that you can wrap and move on with the day,

I don’t agree. Kids wake up and the parents can’t always tell. Parents are tired senseless sometimes. Kids can be quiet and not wake them up. Parents might be in the shower/seeing to the other child. It’s ridiculous to suggest a parent monitor whether a child moves every single second of the day in their own home.

Exactly what did happen, he'd get I to something he shouldn't because he's 4.

Its this sort of thing that if its genuinely a one off you can put it aside. If its a pattern of behaviour it could (not definitely) be a symptom of something. The vast majority of 4yos understand that birthday presents are for the birthday child and are excited for them.

How was he after? Did he know what he did was wrong?

Give both your children a big hug. Move on with the day.

(And yes, at 4yo mine were definitely unsupervised for the 10-15mins it took me to have a shower for example!)

Of course people don't lock their kids in rooms, but if a 4yo is up and about, then really so should the adult be.

Try not to let it get you down OP. I went downstairs as a toddler and ate all the Easter eggs once, including a really special one that was for my mum from my dad.
Don’t be too annoyed at your son, his brain is hardly developed, he’s tiny! Take him to one side when you are calm and explain why he shouldn’t have done this. Give him consequences ie.he will have to help you repair the boxes/apologise to sister etc.
You’ll laugh about it one day.

Honestly why are people asking why he was downstairs on his own ffs?! Probably because his bedroom isn’t a prison and he walked downstairs? OP might not have been aware? Awake?? Those asking, do you lock your children into their bedrooms? Lock the upstairs at night? wtf people are rudiculous.

Given he's 4, you're going to have to let it slide but he can face a consequence - for us it would be his loss of 20 min iPad time/favourite toy removed etc. I can see why you're so upset though, I would've definitely cried as well just out of sheer disappointment and frustration.

Impulsive behaviour no thought or connection to the impact. If he did this at 6 it’s different but at 4 I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. But there would still be a consequence.

Saying that some kids do struggle with the attention being on another person , my 6 year old niece massively struggled at her baby sisters birthday party recently. And my youngest use to struggle, she was later diagnosed with adhd now as adult she is the most wonderful gift giver/event organiser. She goes out of her way to make everyone’s events feel special (same result lol she still craves the attention)
is he allowed downstairs alone in a morning?

Oh no, in that case that's a real shame. I agree with another poster that perhaps the loss of a valued toy for a period of time, or removal of a treat from this week as punishment.

Rubbish start to the day when you are already feeling stretched.

Was he left on his own downstairs? You're going to have to take 5 minutes then dust yourself down, salvage what you can & get on with the day. Hard to believe but in 15 years time it'll be a funny story you tell people.

Child dependant! My youngest wouldn't do this, my eldest might have as he's very impulse control due to ADHD and suspected ASD. That said I agree with the pp, why was a 4 yr old downstairs alone for that length of time

You're probably partly frustrated with yourself. Try to let it go, have a big cuddle, salvage what you can and crack on with enjoying the day.

Just 4 or nearly 5?
I would absolutely furious too. Both of mine would have known at that age that this was a naughty thing to do. However plenty of people will come along now and tell you he’s only little and you shouldn’t have left him alone with them all! Can he be made to help you fix the mess? Help with re wrapping? Has his sister seen it yet?