To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

Baby gates! By four they can get through most of them but not without being loud enough to be heard and questioned. I don't have under 5’s wandering around unsupervised, if they wake up they can play in their room, use the bathroom or come and see us but they’re not allowed to go up/downstairs without permission and it’s never been an issue.

My sisters children are allowed to wander about the house, they often wake early and cause chaos like this, make ‘breakfast’ using the oven, poke around in her personal things, play with cleaning products etc. At this age they need supervision imo.

Did he say WHY he did it? Once you’ve calmed down, talk to him, tell him it wasn’t kind or nice to do that. Ask him how he would feel if someone did that to his presents. Tell him he has to apologise to his sister(even if she doesn’t understand), even better , if he has any pocket money take him out to buy her a little something to say sorry. If not, a different consequence, the most obvious one being, no actually he can’t watch Bluey by himself in the morning anymore as you can’t trust him to behave , so none of that for a while. Or whatever you normally do for consequences.

I'm with you OP- it wouldn't even have occurred to me that a 4 nearly 5 year old would need to be supervised around presents or told not to open them. It's very easy to look at the situation with hindsight!

As he has spoiled one aspect of her birthday I'd have him think about what he can do to make the rest of the day special for her (and then do it)

Solidarity, OP. It’s so fucking hard sometimes. You’re allowed to feel frustrated and pissed off.

I think your totally valid in your feelings! My little boy is 4 in October and he goes in the living room on his own all the time while I'm in our bedroom etc, everyone saying you left him alone and anything could have happened is wild! How could you ever do/ get anything done if you are in the same room every second of the day! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Some of the comments here are crackers, but as is your comment that you can't look at him.

He's 4!!

Why was a 4 year old allowed downstairs unsupervised to begin with?
at 2 she wont know much difference, just go take them & wrap them up in another room. Itll be fine.

Must be nice being so perfect and having all that hindsight

He should be able to leave someone else's gifts alone at that age

Does he get jealous over the attention his sister gets?

He needs to be told in no uncertain terms that his behaviour was wrong, and made to apologise to his sister

Exactly. OP may as well said they neglect their child for weeks on end for such an odd comment. Odd. Very odd.

I have a child the same age and am really confused by this. Were you asleep when he was downstairs? What about things like turning the oven on, or spilling a kettle of boiling water over himself?

My children wouldn’t have turned the kettle on to boil water to throw over themselves aged 4, nor had any interest in the oven. Going downstairs to watch tv with an adult elsewhere in the house is perfectly reasonable.

@ALPS100 thanks.

As she is 2 op you could have presents tomorrow and re wrap if it's not too late.

Hope she had a nice birthday anyway.

I think this comment is really unfair.
how do you know enough to say their family dynamic is not only off but also REALLY off!
im sat next to 4 year old, who is in reception. Hes allowed to go downstairs on his own. He’s not a toddler.

So sorry OP about what’s happened. Don’t feel guilty for being upset, I’d be exactly the same!

All that from one post? I’m sure OP will love hearing that, particularly when already struggling. You definitely win the judgement award though, well done! 🎖️

Fine. So you let him down there knowing the presents were there (presumably he didn't?) and didn't mention it? Why wouldn't you? And why did you only focus on the first line of my post?

You should have anticipated this and kept him away from the gifts if needed. All 4 year olds are different but I think you should have known and you also should have known he had gone downstairs. You cannot fully blame him. He's 4.

She is 2

How old is your daughter.

You can't look at him.....get a grip op.

You are absolutely right. Ignore the people telling you otherwise and trying to make you feel guilty.

I feel very sorry for the teachers of their children. How do these people think their little darlings are going to behave in a classroom with 29 other children and perhaps just two adults?

My brother did similar to my birthday presents when I was a child. He was always extremely jealous and competitive.

I have also let my 4yo downstairs to watch TV in similar circumstances. You're not alone!

I probably would have gone down if there were presents though. We usually open them in PJs as its the first thing they want or do.

You just needed to have a good vent on here. Hope you’re feeling a bit better for it. If not keep venting on here till you calm down.