To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

Dripped later.

i assumed (i guess) she was asleep because if the way she phrased her OP.

as I said in another post, it's kind of worse as she allowed him to go into a room with presents but without warning him, expected him to have impulse control beyond his years, then got so angry with him she couldn't 'look him in the eye'

The TV was on and he was being a little sneak. This is absolutely not on OP. We love to blame parents for the children’s behavior all the time but fail to see this 4 year old should have known better (he did- that’s why he was being sneaky about it, asking to go downstairs when he doesn’t usually). I’m not saying we should expect a 4 year old to have perfect impulse control, of course not but this was calculated and it’s not asking a lot for him to have a little respect and empathy for

1. his little sister and her presents on her birthday
2. his mum- who he must know is in a lot of pain at the moment

Now OP needs to find a way to discipline him, which although necessary is never nice for anyone, and what should have been a lovely morning for her daughter has been ruined. I’d be absolutely pissed off too. That doesn’t mean I would love the boy any less, but good heavens! I’d be well within my rights to be angry, as is OP.

The OP has said several times that she was getting his 2 year old sister dressed and he asked if he could go and watch TV.

Is his sister younger? Make sure you’re not falling into the trap of thinking of him as older than he actually is because he was replaced as your “baby” by a younger sibling. It’s not irrational to be annoyed at this bad behaviour, to be so annoyed you say you “can’t even look at him” suggests unrealistic expectations of a 4 year old.

It wasn't 'dripped'. You just made it up.

See my other posts.

I have a son who’s just turned 5 (a few days ago) - if he did this then I would be very annoyed like you are. They are old enough at this age to 100% know that this is incredibly wrong.

OP came here to vent and as usual it’s turned into people bashing OP for her choices, her reaction, and having the temerity to even post, while they also make up stuff she hasn’t said, catastrophise, and foam at the mouth.

The internet is a cesspool.

Dripped later in the thread.

she still wasn't keeping an eye/ear out for what he was up to & it's kind if worse as she let him go alone into a room with wrapped presents & temptation then got very angry with him lacking impulse control (as us nirmal with 4 year olds).

This. Of course you're upset, and if you've got other things going on in addition this may just feel too much. But please, take some deep breaths and try not let this ruin the day.

What's the childhood mortality rate among remote tribal people?
(I can tell you, it's very high, surviving to 5 is a benchmark and accidents are no small part of that mortality)

Fuck me, some of the responses on here are mental 🙄
@alleoindupyou know your child and you know he did it out of spite and not because ‘he’s still a baby’ ffs. I’d have been furious with him too!
Have you asked him why he did it?
You've said that he now won’t receive a toy that he wanted and I think that’s perfectly reasonable. I’d probably also encourage him to somehow ‘apologise’ to his sister. Maybe draw her a picture, or buy her a little gift from his money or something. Something that shows him that actions have consequences. I’d also ask him how he’d feel if somebody did that to his presents.
All the holier than thou posters, especially the ones who have said to give him a cuddle and move on 🙄 are either lying that they follow their children around constantly and it wouldn’t be able to happen in their house, or they’re the reason why behaviour in schools is in such dire straits these days.
I hope your daughter has a lovely birthday and your pain eases soon

No, this is ridiculous. He is well old enough to know not to do this, op is not negligent for leaving him alone in a room. She is well within her rights to be furious with him.

I have a 4 year old ds, it’s absolutely old enough to understand this behaviour isn’t okay.

he actually carefully opened some of his own Christmas presents and tried to glue them back down which we saw the funny side to, that’s an issue of curiosity and impulse control.
But opening someone else’s and then destroying them I would be furious, that’s just pure jealous nasty behaviour.

Oh apparently not asleep. These threads move too quickly! But still not near enough to hear what he was doing.

yes 4 yo can be left in another room to watch TV, but you need to have an ear out for anything else they might get up to & leaving temptation in their way is asking for trouble.

EXACTLY

Sending him to his room is abusive?

some of the comments on here are ridiculous! I leave my 3 year old unattended downstairs all the time. A nearly 5 year old should definitely have some independence.

It sounds like a really unfortunate incident, I’d be livid too@alleoindup! I really feel for you. Kids do silly things sometimes. Give him a suitable punishment and hopefully it will be a funny story in years to come x

I would be very cross too and would give him a consequence for his behaviour. He knew what he did was naughty! I'm assuming sister is younger and there's perhaps a bit of jealousy about her birthday fuss (which is normal) but I do think you're justified in being pretty cross. Try and move on and have a lovely day for your daughter's birthday!

This would be classed as abusive so please don't follow this advice op.

No she wasn't. She was out partying, drinking champagne straight out of the bottle and snorting drugs off the bum cheeks of male strippers.

Or maybe, just maybe, she was attending to her other child 🧐

Mumsnet is absolutely batshit crazy sometimes. Poor OP is in pain and probably dog tired, she just needs a bit of support.

This

Presents aside OP. What exactly are you struggling with? Is dad around to help?

…and the number of people comparing said to child to their ‘perfect 4 year olds’ is laughable. Kids are all different, talk to him gently, he will learn and it will be fine🙄

I feel you OP. I can sense the anger I'd have felt in this situation too.

From one parent who doesn't feel the need to eyeball my childs every move to another, I hope your day gets better.