To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

You should read the posts properly before deciding that OP slept in!

That would be a lesson for you on future posts.

Read more carefully. 🤣

Maybe read OP's posts properly before you criticise her (in a very patronising way). She didn’t "sleep in", she was upstairs dressing her younger child and had given her DS permission to watch a short cartoon on TV.

She wasn’t sleeping in. There is the option to read OPs posts

You shouldn't have left presents out if you're going to sleep in with an impulsive 4 yo!! Bad decision. Did you warn your child not to touch? Have you left these out for a week and told him today was the day to open? Did you confirm his sister was to open them? Keep out of sight and reach?

Frustrating and unfortunate situation but will be a parenting lesson for you for future birthdays, Christmas, Easter etc! You shouldn't be annoyed at your child, let it go , learn lesson, work on rules, behaviour expectations and move forward. set an alarm 😂

Hope you are feelimg better OP.
Your annoyance was justified.
Ignore the nastiness on MN.
It's so tedious to read.

I'm so sorry OP, the spite of some MN posters is beyond belief.

For what it's worth, if I'd been in your position I might have locked him in a cage under the stairs for a week or so, and/or shooed him into the garden and turned a hosepipe on him.

Just as well I never had children, really 😂🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤡

It sounds as though you have dealt with it, and your emotions, admirably. I can't imagine how depressing the whole incident must have been, all that effort you went to for your daughter's birthday... 😞

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. I don’t think leaving him is an issue (clearly MN is full of sanctimonious hypocrites who are doing a bang up job raising their own kids -not!). What he did was very naughty. He is not too young to fail to understand right from wrong. As someone else pointed out, if it’s a one off move on. If it’s part of a pattern I’d be speaking to your gp or health visitor.

You're over a day too late!

I've already explained & if you want to be a smart arse & think you look clever, knock your socks off.

Erm not quite. OP explained well before you arrived on the thread that she was upstairs with her other child whilst this happened, in the space of about 10 minutes.

All you added to the thread was accusations and co plate fabrication from your own imagination.

@Trendyname read her posts if you fancy a laugh

Please read my other posts, I'm not well, I don't have the energy to explain it again x

Absolutely. I’d worry about the resilience of any child who hasn’t received a good bollocking!

How old is his sister? If she's 2 likely she won't notice. If she's 6 then he ne ds to apologise to her.

You did nothing wrong and your feelings are valid. Your child went downstairs to watch TV and people are acting like you sent him down to play with the kitchen knives. It was an easy mistake to forget the presents were there but equally it's not your fault that he thought it would be a good idea to open them. Nor is it unusual to assume that a child who is closer to 5 than 4 would know it was wrong. I don't know why people are acting like he's a toddler with no impulse control and it's all your fault. Sometimes kids do things which are just totally dickish. It's ok people can feel free to come after me for saying such a horrific thing 😂

I would be royally pissed off and disappointed too. I know it's hard but just try to forget about it. It's done and it was crap but nothing that can be changed now. I hope you feel better soon both about this and in general ❤️

Good grief, reading some of these replies it's not hard to see why we're increasingly raising man children who need constant reassurance, round the clock entertainment and think the world revolves around them until well into their 40s. A nearly 5yo should be more than capable of being left alone for a short time without constant supervision, unless there are additional needs of course. Are parents never supposed to go to the toilet? Answer a door? God forbid, get their younger child dressed?

As for op saying she couldn't bear to look at him, that's literally why the term "get out of my sight" was invented. Show me a parent who has never felt this way and I'll show you a liar. The op's only offence was in admitting to it!

Op, I'd have felt the same. I have felt the same. My dd especially has pushed me to the brink (she's ND so life with her has been far from straightforward). But she knows I'd die for her and give her my last breath. She's also growing into a wonderful, kind, confident, independent and humourous young lady - despite me occasionally in the past having had to walk away from some of her worst behaviour in order to give myself time to calm down. And yes, shock horror, she was sometimes alone for 5 or 10 minutes downstairs while I had a poo or took a shower.

Op, the incident has passed and I hope you're feeling better about things. I do think it's quite unusual for a nearly 5yo to do what he did, but providing it's not a pattern of similar behaviour then I'd put it down to experience. I'd have maybe got him to help you re-wrap the presents, maybe taught him something about empathy by getting him to write you/ his sister a sorry card or whatever. And yes, I'd have told him that I was angry and disappointed - because those are valid emotions we all have!

If this is a pattern of behaviour you're concerned about then that's another matter, but my assumption wouldn't be that you're a bad parent or doing anything inherently wrong or neglectful. I've been there, after all - even with my eldest, much 'easier' dc!

In a few months/ years you'll look back on this and be able to laugh. Just like the time my dsis threw tea leaves all over the downstairs toilet (I mean the room itself, not just the toilet) in a fit of excitement about Christmas. She's a perfectly normal (well, mostly), fully functioning 53 year old now.

alleoindup · Yesterday 08:12
He didn’t rip up the book out of spite. It was as he was tearing into the paper the book got torn as well.

It's not hard to read OP's posts instead of shouting, I recommend.

She said that the book had been ripped in the act of unwrapping it.

But I do agree, I have worked with 4/5 year olds as a reception and year one teacher for decades. They certainly understand mine and yours.

What? She didn't say that? She said boxes were torn open and colouring books ripped. I don't know what sort of 4 year olds you know, but I work with kids including this age group and they can understand that somebody else's birthday presents are not for them to open!!

OP literally said in her post that he did not destroy anything deliberately. And yes, whilst age wise he may be able to comprehend these are not his gifts and he shouldn't open them, he is also an excitable young child and, god forbid, may itend well, but sometimes makes mistakes shock horror.

You'd think being on MN means we're all adults able to read with understanding and not flame OP or her 4yo for no reason, alas here we are, so there we have it, nobody's perfect 🤷‍♀️

You can definitely be forgiven for feeling angry. But remember he is not answering adult and his brain and impulse control and thoughts about consequences are not fully developed.

How has his behaviour been recently in general? Does it seem out of character? Do you know if there is anything he might be struggling with? Does he get on with his sister?

As a Mum of a 4 year old, I love this.

We beat ourselves up far too much ❤️

@SapphireSeptember

Aw @alleoindup I just came on to say I disagree with PP's who are flaming you for being a normal parent letting your 4 year old go downstairs to watch telly (god forbid!) unsupervised.
For what it's worth, 4 year olds can be absolute twats.
You're very understandably gutted that all your effort and hard work to make the day special was ruined and the extra work it's created along with the disappointment for you and DD.
4 is absolutely old enough to know not to open other people's presents. If my 4 year old did this I probably wouldn't be able to look at them either!!

Just think about it though. The only reason you're so angry is because you went to all that effort for your DD. You'll have been the one carefully picking out her favourite things, doing the research, doing the buying well ahead of time, making sure her day is filled with lovely things, wrapping everything up. As mums we spend so much time trying to make things magical for our kids, that's why it hurts so much when it goes wrong. It's a thankless job but if it helps, you wouldn't be such a good mum if this didn't make you raging! If you'd made fuck all effort you wouldn't care.

Sending hugs, and I hope the rest of the day went well for your DD. Ignore the judgey comments.

My DS is only 1. He gets on my nerves sometimes but I love him dearly. I'm a skint single mum, I'm autistic which makes things so much harder sometimes, and I've had the same thought myself. But I know I couldn't be without him nor he without me. It's the same for you and your children. Getting annoyed with your kids doesn't mean you don't love then and they're better off without you, it just means you're human. ❤️ Please be gentle with yourself.

My 4-year-old dgd did something similar. Eight years later she's turning out lovely

People are talking as though 4 is a toddler! It is plenty old enough not to open, and certainly not to deliberately destroy someone else's presents!

Op, I completely understand how tough is to have an injury and live with constant pain. Some posters are being unnecessarily mean to you. You were planning to give a nice morning to your dd on her birthday and your ds caused a bit of panic and extra work. Your upset is totally understandable.