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Original poster

Child Free Weddings have always been normal - stop pretending otherwise

305 replies

thelakeisle · 23/07/2025 00:08

Just that really. Every other week some entitled family member trots out the "reasons" why she is super special and her children MUST be allowed to attend someone else's wedding. It's batshit, over entitled and frankly weird.

I do not understand this desperate need to control other people's lives or inability to just turn down an invitation politely.

Other people's weddings - no matter who they are or what your relationship is - are not about you. The bride and the groom are the only people who get to decide anything.

No ifs, no ands, no buts.

So, when you receive a child free wedding invitation these are your options.

  1. You can ask very very very politely if your children are the special exception - the answer will be no, by the way.
  2. You can accept the situation like a grown up and say yes.
  3. You can accept the situation like a grown up and say no.
  4. You can accept the situation and throw a tantrum in real life, on mumsnet or any other platform of your choice.
  5. You can turn up with your kids and be exiled from most family events for the rest of your life.

And for the hard of thinking:

  1. Child free weddings don't mean they hate your children or any children.
  2. They will be fine with you turning down the invitaiton, you won't be making any great dramatic stand by doing so, few will notice, probably none will actually care.
  3. There are extremely good reasons why some people have made the choice to not have kids at their weddings, dating back right through history this has been a common practice.
  4. Again, this is not a new thing. Not at all. You're just not very well educated about the past, or are wearing your Pollyanna goggles.
  5. Not wanting kids at the wedding has nothing to do with aesthetics and everything to do with adults enjoying themselves unencumbered and uninterrupted.
  6. Your kids are only cute to you, your spouse and maybe the grandparents. Everyone else is just being nice.
  7. Your personal story doesn't matter to the bride and groom, and nor should it.

I think that covers it. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

Stands back to await the hurricane of entitlement and faux shock and horror.

Posting with a poll for a bit of a laugh, mumsnetters do love their polls :)

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 23/07/2025 00:29

@parietal what did the children get from the wedding if they had a separate room and a childminder. Could have had that at home

Original poster
thelakeisle · 23/07/2025 00:28

thelakeisle · 23/07/2025 00:08

Just that really. Every other week some entitled family member trots out the "reasons" why she is super special and her children MUST be allowed to attend someone else's wedding. It's batshit, over entitled and frankly weird.

I do not understand this desperate need to control other people's lives or inability to just turn down an invitation politely.

Other people's weddings - no matter who they are or what your relationship is - are not about you. The bride and the groom are the only people who get to decide anything.

No ifs, no ands, no buts.

So, when you receive a child free wedding invitation these are your options.

  1. You can ask very very very politely if your children are the special exception - the answer will be no, by the way.
  2. You can accept the situation like a grown up and say yes.
  3. You can accept the situation like a grown up and say no.
  4. You can accept the situation and throw a tantrum in real life, on mumsnet or any other platform of your choice.
  5. You can turn up with your kids and be exiled from most family events for the rest of your life.

And for the hard of thinking:

  1. Child free weddings don't mean they hate your children or any children.
  2. They will be fine with you turning down the invitaiton, you won't be making any great dramatic stand by doing so, few will notice, probably none will actually care.
  3. There are extremely good reasons why some people have made the choice to not have kids at their weddings, dating back right through history this has been a common practice.
  4. Again, this is not a new thing. Not at all. You're just not very well educated about the past, or are wearing your Pollyanna goggles.
  5. Not wanting kids at the wedding has nothing to do with aesthetics and everything to do with adults enjoying themselves unencumbered and uninterrupted.
  6. Your kids are only cute to you, your spouse and maybe the grandparents. Everyone else is just being nice.
  7. Your personal story doesn't matter to the bride and groom, and nor should it.

I think that covers it. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

Stands back to await the hurricane of entitlement and faux shock and horror.

Posting with a poll for a bit of a laugh, mumsnetters do love their polls :)

Should have said, I have two adult kids, and never once was offended at child free invitations to anything, because I am not an entitled, delusional arse 😇

OP posts:
parietal · 23/07/2025 00:27

All the best weddings I’ve been to have children included. One great one had a nursery room with a childminder who entertained 10 kids under 10 for the whole evening. I’d much rather attend an informal wedding with children than an OTT formal do without.

Original poster
thelakeisle · 23/07/2025 00:27

pourmeadrinkpls · 23/07/2025 00:12

YANBU. I love a child-free wedding, and I have a child.

Yep, I have two now adult kids, should have mentioned that in the post :)

OP posts:
pourmeadrinkpls · 23/07/2025 00:12

YANBU. I love a child-free wedding, and I have a child.