Being told I can’t drink out of certain mugs

Oh, for goodness sake. This mug thing is as old as the hills. Did you never have a grandad who had his favourite mug and it had to be treasured? It is part of long term living.

@ThePerkyCoralPoet OP I have favourite mugs that I prefer others don’t use…

…I also had a difficult relationship with my father which started around my early teens and lasted well into adulthood so I can relate to your feelings about him and how much he annoys you. I’m not going to judge you or the situation so I didn’t vote as it’s about far more than mugs and a lot of people won’t understand. Not everyone likes or gets on with their Dad.

P.S. I just read all your updates and yep sounds just like me and my Dad - he did something that really upset me when I was 11 and it went downhill from there.

So, this is the same dad who you were frantic with worry about (…to the point of careless driving!), because he was in hospital in June, with suspected cancer?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5364639-having-a-major-stress-over-a-notice-of-intended-prosecution

You sound like a complete bitch. This can’t be real, surely? Surely nobody is this much of a wanker?

As I said previously, she’s pissed her therapist off with her rude snarky attitude about a payment, she’ll need to find another I assume.

Are you a different person outside your parents home? I mean are you mature, likeable, pleasant to be around work colleagues and friends. Do you only revert to brattishness and immaturity when you’re at home?

And the split was never mentioned until this post !! OP mentions that during the year they were separated her mum was seeing someone. Am l the only one who has a suspicion that OP has been fed her mum’s side of the story ? Isn’t it more likely that the split was because mum was already having an affair and when it didn’t work out dad took her back ? Which suggests a whole different picture of dad to the one OP is painting.

Actually, you sound like you are harbouring some resentment toward your father for not bothering with you when your parents separated. As someone who had similar anger in my 20's toward an estranged parent I suggest you get some therapy to explore those feelings. Normally, as a house guest in someone else's home you politely accept people weird quirks. Your reaction to your Dad seems like it's more than the mug.

This is one of the saddest threads I’ve ever taken part in. I feel so sorry for OP’s parents, and in particular her dad.

Which is as pathetic as you say your dad is.

I think what you fail to understand is that my parents once upon a time were not together. They separated. Then got back together. I don’t respect my dad so much since then. He didn’t cheat or do anything untoward. They just weren’t 100% with one another. I didn’t agree with my mums choice to take him back

It’s not a failure if anyone to understand. It’s just that absolutely none of this is relevant to your batshit behaviour.

It’s your mum’s decision who she does/doesn’t want a relationship with, nothing to do with you or if you liked another of her boyfriends better than your dad. You don’t have to agree with anything as it’s not your business.

You’re overreacting. We all have a favourite mug at my parents house and wouldn’t drink out of each others.

I have mugs that I strongly prefer no one else used as they’re special to me and would be hard to replace. If a guest used one I would begrudgingly allow them on the basis I am being a bit precious to forbid it. I would absolutely stop family using it though as I have no need to stand on ceremony with my family and don’t mind if they judge me for my weird and specific feelings.

I can never imagine speaking to my parents like that, and my mum left us for nearly 4 years before she phoned me out of the blue when I was at uni.

If I hated someone that much, I wouldn't be staying with them at all. His house, his rules. It's not pathetic for someone to have a designated mug. Even if you thought that, why make a big thing of it yourself? Just use another mug and let that be it.

Perhaps you have a lot of trauma that you need unpicking. Some counselling might help.

Your mum didn’t have an affair but she started ‘seeing someone’ after they had separated ? Sounds like you’re in denial about the true reason for the split. Have you considered that you got your mum’s version of events and that it’s possible the reason for the separation was that your mum was seeing this person, and when it didn’t work out, it was your dad who took your mum back ? This would put your dad in a whole different light wouldn’t it ?

She’s used to being coddled by mummy so can’t see what a little brat she’s being

People usually have their favourite mugs. You're out of order for speaking to your parent in that manner, though.

You’re childish. Regardless of your dad, you’re still childish and a brat all on your own. You're the pathetic one. I wouldn’t let you back in the house.

It’s his house and his mug, you’re the pathetic one picking fights like this in someone else’s home.

This isn't about mugs or cars boots.

With the passage of time OP you will realise there is more to life than getting in a toddler type strop about a mug.
Your parents are ordinary people , with flaws like the rest of us.
Perhaps don't go and see your dad for the time being. You are very angry with him already before you try and have a cup of tea with him.
Maybe think about counselling, it might help and couldn't make things any worse.
One day you won't have your parents any more. That comes around sooner than you think sadly. Think on what you want your life and your relationship with them to be before it is too late .

@ThePerkyCoralPoet he is. When I came I said we don’t have to pretend or do fake conversations

Well, he must have been a saint then, as I would have told you not to let the door hit you on your way out (permanently). I wouldn’t have cared if you had to stay in a tent after that.

You’re being pathetic. It’s his home and he has a favourite mug - so do I and DH will always look for it in the cupboard do he can make me a drink out of it rather than any other mug.
He did something nice for you by buying the ice creams you like and you rejected them - I wouldn’t be buying them for you again.

So far this sounds like it’s all you. You’ve decided you don’t like your dad and are picking any tiny thing you can to justify it.

How can a poster fail to understand something you haven’t previously mentioned ?