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To ask how to be super confident and not take anything personally?

28 replies

Pippin1239 · 22/07/2025 21:20

I'd just love to be a super confident person who didn't care at all what anyone thought, it's not that I don't have any confidence at all but I can be hard on myself and care what others think.

Things I'm trying to do are: I've recently taken up a completely different hobby to what I've ever done before, it's putting me out of my comfort zone and it's daunting.

I ran a half marathon earlier this year and I've just signed up for another one.

I've decreased the level of debt I had significantly and now have much less to pay.

I'm doing well in my job and exceeding targets, I feel a bit of a loser for being on quite a low salary (under 30k). But I'm trying to tell myself that your value isn't linked to how much you earn or how senior you are in a company. I'm applying for promotions right now.

Not comparing myself to my schoolfriends. School was a long time ago and it's natural to outgrow people. Their outlook on life is different to mine which is fine, and when I see them I don't know why but I always feel like there are slight digs or jibes? For example, I change my hair often, because I like to do that. They'll say things like "Omg, you're always changing your hair!" But not followed by anything positive or saying it's nice.
I'm proud of myself and the life I've led, I just want to be as confident as I can. Has anyone else had any similar thoughts or experiences? Any advice would be wonderful too.

OP posts:
Pippin1239 · 22/07/2025 22:03

Standardpain · 22/07/2025 21:59

Well you should be really proud of yourself OP. You are doing so many positive things to challenge yourself.

It sounds as though you still feel the need to get approval from people. And yet they probably are seeing you as someone who is confident and an achiever and so they possibly don't feel the need to encourage you in the way they might someone less confident and successful.

Thanks a lot. I just always feel like they subtly try to put me down, it's always comments about how I'm 'always' doing this or that, rather than something nice.

OP posts:
Flashout · 22/07/2025 22:00

Read “How to stop worrying and start living.” It’s very good.

Standardpain · 22/07/2025 21:59

Well you should be really proud of yourself OP. You are doing so many positive things to challenge yourself.

It sounds as though you still feel the need to get approval from people. And yet they probably are seeing you as someone who is confident and an achiever and so they possibly don't feel the need to encourage you in the way they might someone less confident and successful.