To quite like being fat?

So, you think big boobs are better than small ones but are pissed off by the fact that you feel judged by people who dislike fat bodies but you long to be slim to wear nice clothes, you are a rare woman who loves food and doesn't have an uneasy relationship with food, you love eating, which you strongly associate with family connection, so you eat "a bit too much" but at least you've got boobs and are not monitoring your food intake to maintain a certain physique... ? Ok.

There are a couple of things I enjoy about being fat. Having boobs is one. I was flat chested when I was slim. Went from somewhere between A and B cup to D - double D when I was really overweight. Now I'm just a few pounds over BMI but the D cups remain.

I also like that I can enjoy food. I am one of the few women I know who doesn't have a really uneasy relationship with food. I love food. I have a fairly big appetite. I eat pretty healthily but a bit too much. But the joy I get from chatting with family over dinner is quite central to my life.

I do long to be slim in order to wear beautiful clothes but not enough to actually diet. I've never dieted. Never had that yoyo of thin then fat again. I do feel judged by some close friends who have very disordered eating. But I don't envy their obsession, or their disgust at fat bodies and deep down it really pisses me off that so many women live their lives constantly hungry or monitoring their intake and appetite to maintain a certain physique.

I see this threads brought out all the ‘massive salad’ ‘small chicken to last 6 dinners’ crew 😂

How do you get your shoulders into smaller stuff? Probably a stupid question but I am a similar build and my shoulders haven’t fitted smaller than a size 14 since before puberty
I come from a family of (all male relatives) heavyweight boxers, swimmers and wrestlers

The world does cater for smaller bodies, rather than large and you aren’t at risk of weight related issues if you have a smaller body. Those are facts, regardless of your experience of being overweight.

Your experience. Other people’s might vary. That’s the point.

Yeah, I can’t understand it because whatever your experience of being overweight is, life is so much easier being a healthy weight. The world is geared up for slimmer people. Plus you don’t have the added worry of developing weight related illnesses.

And you said you couldn’t understand how anyone could be happy being fat. I’m just saying other people have different experiences of being fat so it’s not that hard to understand.

Well no, I didn’t say they did, I thought that was clear when I said “I’ve go more energy” and “I’m not at risk of weight related issues”.

I understand that completely.
I was at a point a few years ago where the only jeans I could buy that fit properly were age 12-13 from the kids section in New Look 🥴🥴🥴 and that still didn’t click in my head that a healthy, adult woman is supposed have a little bit of chub around the hips and bum.
I was also cold ALL the time. Like uncomfortably cold, even in the house with the central heating on.
I saw a picture of myself, where I was wearing a vest top, and had my arms up holding the camera selfie-style and you could see every bone in my shoulders, clavicle and breastbone. I was disgusted by how I looked.
Even now I’m bigger and miles healthier, I see pictures of curvier women like Christina Hendricks and I think she’s one of the most beautiful women on the planet…..but I know that if I gained enough weight to have those kind of curves? My brain would spiral into that horrible place of thinking I was enormous 🤦🏻‍♀️ I don’t think I’ll ever truly snap out of my warped sense of body image. The damage was done too long ago and at way too young of an age 😔 Now I’ve made it my mission to make sure my daughters never, ever feel the way I did. I never let them hear me say anything negative about my body out loud.

See, I agree it’s better to be a healthy weight if you can, but I absolutely have less energy now that I’m slim than I did when I was bigger, and although I was quite fat I’m also very compact so I never had trouble fitting comfortably into seats or anything. Not everyone has the same experience of fatness.

Glad you feel happy. I just cannot understand it myself - by then I don’t need to.

It's obviously your choice OP, but you can't expect people to agree it's a good idea.

You post could be
I've decided I'm going to carry on smoking crack because it makes me happy. I'm aware it causes issues for other people but I feel fine.

I meant to write "chubby person"!

I wasn't referring to overweight people as chubbies.

Having been very overweight for much of my adult life and now very nearly into the healthy BMI category, I can honestly say that I cannot understand how anyone could be happy being fat.
Life is so much easier being a healthy weight. I’ve got more energy, clothes are designed for smaller bodies and I’m not at such at huge risk of developing weight related issues. Things like travel aren’t an issue- I’m not worried about being cramped on a plane for instance. There are so many ways that life is easier in a smaller body.
I honestly cannot get my head around someone choosing to live with a bigger body, it’s mind boggling to me.

I am similar size to you OP but have started to lose some weight allbeit very slowly in mounjaro.
Ive always had lots of energy, been active, when I'm hot my thighs do chaff but then so do my DDs who is a size 8.
I do enjoy food and eating out gives me a lot of pleasure, I'm aware I also comfort eat.
I do look fat in photos particularly beach ones! But I love fashion so can normally dress in a kinda flattering way.(i hope!)
I've recently lost about a stone and am feeling more confident and comfortable in my clothes although they are still the same size.
What I notice is thou is just how little calories you need if you are short and menopausal.
Putting in weight is very very easy but losing weight is HARD and I think I would find living on very little calories is a bit miserable long term. So. I'm trying to make small changes, adjust portion size, stops snacks and eat within a window of time whenever I can.
Having body confidence and feeling good about yourself is absolutely brilliant! And the better I feel about myself the less I eat-also. Although also what I eat is impacted by external factors/life events which are not controllable.
I think it's true people either eat to live or live to eat, I'm in later category!

Absolutely, alot of thin ppl hardly eat anything.

Meanwhile a friend who I have always envied for her flat stomach has just been put on blood pressure medication and has high cholesterol. I only say this to show weight doesn’t always equal health.

Being a healthy weight or having a flat stomach doesn't mean you won't have high cholesterol or high BP.
Those are lifestyle related or genetic.

But being overweight and obese, statistically, means you are far more likely to develop lifestyle-related disease from middle age onwards.

Being happy and confident shouldn't be part of your weight.
The two things are not always connected.

Being a sensible weight is necessary for long term health. It should be the default setting for everyone to do their best to achieve that.

Being happy- that comes from whatever else is in your life and so does being confident.

@Flumpflimpo I’m around your size too - thing is I think I look ok but I am 63 - body isa bit crap but I have good legs and don’t have a huge tum- it’s kind of on all over but I do I think still have a good face and great boobs. What I will say though is at 60 that’s when the weight related health issues kicked in, not awful but enough to make me see that I needed to lose some- I don’t intend to go much below bmi of around 27 though because I look pretty ok at that level

I guess the ideal is to feel happy and confident in yourself whatever your weight. I've been all different sizes from 8-18 - for me i think i feel the same from size 14 downwards but start to feel more self-conscious above a size 14. Wouldnt say i was unhappy over 14 though.

It isn’t western culture. It’s science and medicine I a developed country that knows being obese is really bad for your body

I get you OP. I have been the same weight for years, similar BMI to you. No matter what lifestyle I lead, I can only lose weight if I really really deprive myself and I just feel hungry and miserable all the time. I’ve had two kids during that time and that’s not changed my weight, it always just settles back at the same point.

Of course I would like to have a healthy BMI but at the moment I’m not prepared to be miserable to get there (I am considering mounjaro but don’t want to rush into it)

In the mean time I exercise A LOT, I walk everywhere, I try to eat balanced.

I have also always had good blood pressure, a recent cholesterol check shows that’s all done and am generally in excellent health.

Meanwhile a friend who I have always envied for her flat stomach has just been put on blood pressure medication and has high cholesterol. I only say this to show weight doesn’t always equal health.

It really does.
The normal weight range is stretched on from 7st 7lb to 10 stone 5lb approx while remaining in the normal category.