AIBU if I don't invite the whole class to a party?

I wouldnt think it was ok to invite say 28 out of 30 but less than half the class hes friends with seems reasonable

One of my DS was invited to a whole class party once. The most important thing is that noone feels rejected. So you can't invite 8 out of 10 boys but 5 out of 10 is fine for ex.

YANBU. The party is for your child, he knows what type of party he’s like/who he’d like to invite.

Nobody here does class parties, some children don’t even do one. Those who do either invite a few friends to their home or book a soft play/climbing activity for around 10 friends or slightly more in a hall with an entertainer.

Do what is best for your child. His close friends will still invite him to their parties. Good luck!

I think you’re overthinking it. Just do the party he wants. DS has just finished reception and been to both full class parties and smaller parties with just a few people. Both are perfectly fine and I would imagine the smaller parties are either down to what the child wants or cost.

As a parent it would never occur to me to exclude a child or blacklist them because DS hadn’t been invited to their party, not in a million years and anyone that thinks that is incredibly petty. The only issue would be if you invited the whole class but excluded one or two children then that wouldn’t be on but that’s not what your son is suggesting so I’d just crack on with what he wants and don’t worry,

Just do what he wants, as long as it doesn't mean only one or two children in his class miss out

Ive got a son who has just finished reception.

Most people do whole class round us. But a few definitely did less than half the class. I know a few of the girls did girls only parties for example. I wouldn’t worry, as long as you aren’t excluding a few - only inviting a few is fine. Most whole class parties are just posted on the WhatsApp group to everyone so he won’t miss out.

It’s fine to make your son happy.

I’ve never, ever done whole classes… my kids had a few close friends and we went out somewhere, then came home and had tea with them.
Why entertain children who your child doesn’t get along with? Not to mention the expense and ending up entertaining tag -along siblings!!!
Do what’s best for your child, not what is “expected “.

Wasn’t the norm at my DC’s school . Admittedly it was a few years back but I can’t see that financial situations for young families have improved in the meantime. The only whole class party I recall at my DC’s school was for the child of one of the teaching assistants and I imagine she felt a bit of pressure due to her role.

I think invite who you want - but it’s kinder to give invites out of sight of other children if not inviting the whole class.

We don’t have reception in Scotland, but from P1 onwards I just had small parties in the house, with a few of DDs friends.

It wasn’t the done thing to have whole class parties then (90’s) and we all knew that the children all had their own friends, I never knew anyone who had the whole class there, no-one was ever offended. No one minded not getting invited to everyone’s party.

If my DDs were school age now, I’d still do the same.

Do be prepared for him not be invited to every party if you are only inviting a selected few.

We do whole class BUT DD goes to a teeny school with mixed age classes, the whole of Reception and Y1 (1 class) last year was 15 kids total.

This year we are inviting 30 as a combination of school and outside school friends but I’m hoping we have nearer to 20 attending as I don’t really want 30. But she will be Y1 and has friends that will be Y2 as well as Reception and Y1 so it’s fairer to
invite them all and hope that a good few of the bigger ones aren’t interested.

absolutely fine to do what you’re suggesting. The only thing that’s not fine is inviting the majority of a class and excluding a few children, you’re only inviting 5 out of presumably 30 which is completely fine and based on children he knows. Not everyone has whole class parties, my son has had some years when he’s requested no party and a big family day out instead.

I think it's fine to not invite the whole class as long as you're not excluding just one or two children

I’ve hosted several whole class parties, but it’s definitely not the norm. There were quite a few others who did in my younger DD’s class, but well under half the class which means most didn’t, and far fewer in my eldest’s class. Not everyone is in a position to do it. Not everyone wants to do it either. I never remotely took offence at my kids not being invited to someone else’s party just because we invited them. The party is for your child and what they want absolutely should come first. Nice people will understand, and frankly people who don’t understand are not people who’s good opinion you want anyway.

I’ve never done a whole class party for any of my children 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I was having a birthday party, would I invite the entire staff from work?
No 🫠😂
I’d invite the people I’d actually like to be there. No different for kid’s birthdays.

The generally accepted “rule” is less than half the class or the whole class.

It’s also usually considered ok to invite just the boys or just the girls (but I’d avoid that if the class of very unbalanced eg 10 girls and 3 boys)

It definitely was the norm for full class parties with mine in reception. We went to about 20 parties that school year!! But there was one or two smaller parties. I think as his is September it’s so early on it won’t even be noticed, so go for it!

I think it’s fine to not invite the whole class if it’s a small party like the one you’re planning, where there’s only about 5 of his classmates invited.

What would be a bit off would be the reverse scenario where you were inviting almost all of the class except for a few kids.

My daughter is 23 now but I never did whole class parties. We just invited the friends she wanted there. I think that was fairly normal at the time and she still got invited to her friends parties too

Surely most of the class wouldn't even know he's had a party?

I can understand why he wouldn't want a class party - his classmates won't actually be his friends by then anyway.

In short - it's fine.

Had 2 kids go through primary school. No one ever did a whole class party. Very sensible.

You won't be blacklisted, the other parents (a) won't care, and (b) won't even know it's his birthday (or who he is, since it's in September).